What is it like to have a child with Autism?

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As for me, I'd say the puzzle piece analogy isn't too far off. My mom always knew I was different, but could never figure out why. She did not understand why I wasn't social like my sister, but she was always impressed with my resourcefulness, patience, curiosity, determination, and creativity. It's also worth mentioning that I was just about the least rebellious child ever.

Thanks.

Hugs for Ana!

Here's the abridged version of what it's like for us:

The day my daughter was born, I knew she was 'different'. At her first nappy (diaper) change, she screamed the hospital ward down (sensory issues). All subsequent clothing or nappy changes were the same. She wanted to suckle all the time (stimming). She appeared to be petrified of the vacuum cleaner. Unlike many kids with ASDs, she has no signs of dyspraxia (she's quite the opposite in fact). She started to crawl at 6 months and was cruising around the furniture and climbing onto tables, etc at 8 months. She was speaking in complete, meaningful sentences and walking unaided by a year (not ahead of her peers, but has never walked like a baby). That's when the trouble really started. She refused to sit in her pram, refused to take hands, refused to walk, if she was wearing reins (would go rigid and scream if I tried to do something she didn't want). She wanted to do everything by herself and would run rather than walk, even in dangerous places, e.g. close to busy roads. To say that I was stressed out, is an understatement. By the time she was 18 months, she'd reached the terrible 2s and she's still there at almost 6yrs. She still won't take hands, but has an awareness of road safety at last. At the moment, the worst thing about her behaviour is that she appears to not hear or to ignore people.

I've read a mountain of books in relation to raising 'strong-willed' and 'spirited' children and tried loads of behaviour management techniques. Absolutely nothing had any effect, but I never sought help or advice, until she started school. Like many parents, I thought they would say it was down to poor parenting skills. I hoped that the teachers' authority would have an effect. Although she's not a badly behaved or disruptive child, she takes ages to get started on with a task, yet she can do it. I also noticed social skills problems, which hadn't been obvious before. After I raised my concerns with the depute head, she was referred for a speech and language assessment. She's had a triage appointment and is now on the waiting list for autism assessment. The therapist's gut feeling is that she has Aspergers. This was not a surprise to me as this is what I believe too (it also explains a lot about myself too). Since then, the social problems have increased. She has no friends at school just now and has been picked on by a few, for being different. That's my biggest concern for her.

But, she's a wonderful little person, very friendly and full of life. She loves the universe and everything in it (her words), including creepy crawlies and slimy creatures. She has a thirst for knowledge, especially anything science related. Her ability to hyper-focus comes into its own when she's watching her favourite science show. She understands everything they talk about, stuff that would go over the heads of many adults. She's doing very well at school, despite her concentration problems. Peer pressure has no effect on her. She's a tomboy and doesn't care for girl toys as they're 'boring'. She loves to watch Doctor Who, Scooby Doo and Quantum Leap.

Finding after school activities for her has been my quest. After failures with gymnastics, dancing and martial arts, we've eventually found 3 perfect classes: swimming, athletics and singing/drama/Italian - she nearly always joins in with these and, if she doesn't, the staff don't mind. At her singing show, she stood out a mile from all the other kids. She was doing strange stuff like going up to the cardboard animals and having conversations with them. But, when it was her turn to perform, she put her heart and soul into it and had all the appearance of the star of the show. The lady in charge of the class almost had me in tears of joy when she was speaking about how great she was. Moments like this prove to me that Aspergers definitely has an up-side (in my daughter's case anyway). At the moment, she says she wants to be a TV presenter on a science show and it wouldn't surprise me if she managed to do it. I'm not a pushy mum at all, I just want her to be happy.

I am not sure what it was like for my mother but I was hard work. She knew I had something but didn't know what it was. She said she learned to be patient. She even had to take classes, had to learn to be visual, had to be very careful what she taught me because I take things literal or learn the wrong things. Once I started to talk correctly, I never stopped. I talk for hours and never let anyone else speak. Mom told me she would ask how my day was at school and I go into detail non stop. I tell from the beginning of the day to the end and then three hours later, I be done. But as I got older I guess I got too lazy to tell it all so it got short and shorter to "Okay." Unless I was taught I didn't need to tell everything. My dad says my mom exaggerates so I don't know if I really did speak for three hours about my day. I also drove my family crazy with my constant questions and I always had to know "why" to everything and mom always had to given me the reason why. I remember I get stuck on things and keep talking about it but mom always shut me up. She also took away my obsessions and get mad at me about it. She even hated how I read 101 Dalmatians over and over and how I would look that stuff up online. It wasn't like I was talking about it to her so why was that a problem? I still don't know. All she said years later was she didn't understand.

I thought obsessions were normal for years. They are but when it comes to a point like this, they're not. I don't see that as an impairment because I still did other things and talked about other things.

Mom took me to lot of doctors growing up and I had speech therapy from when I was 22 months and occupational therapy when I was 11-13 and just seeing a shrink when I was 11-12, 16-18. I remember seeing other doctors but it be only a few times or that one time.

Mom has even quit her job one time just to stay home and work with me. They even moved to another state where they had better schools because the school where we lived wouldn't teach me any language until kindergarten so they found better schools and moved when I was three.

My son is 4yo and he has classic autism.

I can relate to this. I'm different from other parents, as CanadianRose says, and also I have not background. There's no mother, sister, aunt, friend that has a similar mothering experience. I feel the one, even if I know I'm not. I can't use the experiences of women that went before me in my family and can't share my experiences with my friends who are mothers. I try to explain, but it's not sharing. I can't know what mothering it's like for them and they can't know what's like for me.

Great, it's people that suck their the problem.