Aak a stupid question....

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Another favourite of mine - and I know what it means realy, but I just can't stop myself, is when people oas "How did you find it?"

Like after a good meal "How did you find your desert" Answer, - I just looked down at the bowl, and HEY - there it was!

Or How did you fond your hotel? - Followed the map, and HEY - there it was!

My friend was eating a double-patty burger at lunch today and juice was dripping all over his plate. He said that if not for the lettuce, his lower bun would be soaked. I said "So the lettuce is like a burger condom?" I got a snicker for that.

My mom used to encourage me to put more mayo on my sandwich than I was. She said "You don't want it to be dry!" Ever since then I have referred to condiments as food lubricants. I got a really nasty look from a waitress for asking her if she could bring me some kind of food lubricant.

How about when someone wants to say, "Could you repeat what you just said?" but, instead, they compress it all into a single word ... "Please?" I just stand there looking at them, waiting to hear the rest of their polite request. They stare back at me waiting and listening for me to repeat my statement. Nobody wins that one.

Have you ever heard someone say
"Guess who I bumped into down the street?"

I just answer:
"How hard did you bump into them?",
"Did you knock them over?",
"Did you hurt them?"
"Did you break any bones?"
"Did you say sorry?"

What they should have said was
"Guess who I met down the street?"

(I wish some of these NTs will stop screwing up the English language like that).