Why does conformism annoy the freakin' hell out of me??! !!

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I think the first step in being a non-conformist is realizing you do in fact care about what people think.

Really? So all innovators and outside-the-box thinkers are actually autistic? Yeah for sure...

Moog
"Then they are conforming to the dictates of their souls!"

If that is conforming I would say that's a good conformism. Maybe the soul is a word for self actualization or something. The actualization of your own chosen values, character and personality. If this happens to conform to others it would be a much more genuine way to be in my opinion.
I don't think I consider myself a non conformist in that I try to not conform, it may be more that I can't help see and think things looking in from outside.

Last edited by Jediscraps on 27 Sep 2011, 7:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Because Aspies realize that conforming to others' style is not really that cool; it's just a good survival mechanism.

So is generalization, which applies to the concept of 'all the neurotypical conformists' and their shallow society. Which is kinda funny considering many people with AS (me included) have trouble even looking at people let alone be able to socialize well enough to feel truly comfortable around anyone. Yeah, we could build a better society for sure...

Also, people having the same opinion or style doesn't automatically make them conformists. Believe it or not, even those shallow and evil NTs sometimes act because of individual decisions, true story!
People like to surround themselves with people they share interests with, nothing wrong with that. And what's wrong with style as a symbol of associating yourself with a certain idea/subculture or whatever? Does that make anyone stupid?

I agree. I am doing my best to conform with my 'soul's' intent. I wish the same for everyone.

Often, it means conforming with the world at large in some way.

But I think we need to know how and when to engage in positive rebellion.

Maybe NTs become really really really uncomfortable X 1000000000 when they feel like they don't belong to any group or are not accepted by any group. Maybe the pressure to conform is much greater on NTs than what any of us can imagine, and they are hypersensitive to social pressure like most of us are hypersensitive to light, sound, touch, etc. If our social skills, i.e. lack thereof, were combined with their need to belong, then the resulting kid might shut down and lose his mind as soon as he started school.

Because I'm not supposed to be "normal", I'm supposed to be me.

This could just be my skewed perspective, as someone perched oddly between being on and off the spectrum. However, I always see the process of obsessing over conformity as being a lack of self-initiative. I'm not saying these people are unintelligent. I'm just saying that basically, it's easier for most people to conform, to do nothing, to be what other people tell them to be. It's just as easy for them to do that as it is for me to be different. This is not to say that I cannot learn various aspects of social convention, or that NTs can't learn to deny their respective natural inclinations towards conformity.

That's just how I think about it anyway.

The only time it really frustrates me is when my friends talk down to me about girly things. For crying out loud! It's not that I don't understand. It's that I don't care. lol!

Isn't conforming to the notion of being a non-conformist confirming that you are, in fact, a conformist??

If I were conforming to being a non-conformist, then yes. Good thing that wasn't what I said. ...maybe you were speaking to someone else?

No, I was just being ironic.

Conformity doesn't annoy me much, as long as people keep their conforming to themselves, like they are free to conform as much as they want, but they don't expect me to conform to whatever they enjoy conforming to, and they don't bug me about conforming like them or reject the idea that perhaps, just maybe, with some small probability, I cannot actually conform in certain ways due to the...y'know...Autism. Except that they do all these things to both themselves and me, so yeah, conformity annoys the freakin' hell out of me too.

I personally don't agree with the argument that NTs aren't intelligent. Every young person I know seems to just know how to keep their computer/laptop updated, but I don't. I get all these strange messages come up asking me to ''back up my files right now'', and I'm never sure if it's one of those things what pop up to make you think that you're computer's infected but instead they're just trying to get money off of the user, or if there really is something serious and that I should go along with it. I'm never sure, so I ask one of my cousins or anyone else whom I know who owns a computer or laptop, and get them to tell me and they just seem to know.

But anyway, that's not related to this thread. Let's not keep breaking down the word ''conformism'' to it's very logic point. The point I'm trying to make is it annoys me how the way humans are so critical of eachother, and women are so bitchy towards other women, and always trying to impress one another, and any odd gesture you make gets interpreted that you're ''a very weird person'', and that when people see somebody with scruffy clothes or greasy hair they jump right onto them and accuse them of being ''geeky'' or ''skanky'' or ''weird'', instead of actually thinking, ''well, maybe he or she hasn't got the money to buy new clothes, or maybe he or she lives in a crowded house where he or she can't always get to wash his or her hair.....'' but no - they have to attack. Every time I walk into a fashion shop I always get odd looks and sniggering from girls (especially snooty girls) because I have a standard hairstyle - nothing fancy like what they have. So they decide to interfere. It's all so intimidating. I like my hairstyle, but I don't like being laughed at, so I don't know what to do. It just makes me feel confused and angry inside, and I just wish people would mind their own business. Just because I've got a standard hairstyle, doesn't mean I'm different. Maybe I can't afford a fancy haircut.

Say if it was a really hot day, and somebody needed to go somewhere, but it was a long walk to get there, but she wanted to wear her leggins because she knows she looks nice in them and it's too hot to wear her jeans (she also knows that people tend to look at you when you're not wearing the ''correct'' clothes that match the weather). But she doesn't want to wear her trainers to do this long walk in because she knows they ''look funny'' with leggins, so she gets out her little flat shoes what goes perfectly well with her leggins. But she knows that these shoes gives her terrible blisters if she walks too far in them, but she puts them in anyway, and after she gets home from the long walk, her feet are throbbing and bleeding. But she'd still rather put herself through all that pain and ruin her feet than to go out in trainers with the ''wrong'' trousers on and be noticed by a couple of women whom she will probably never see again.
That's how stupid fashion has gotten.

If people weren't so critical of eachother, I don't think I would have Social Phobia so much.

I find conformity more than annoying. Whatever the drive for conformity is over, could be fashion or anything else, it can often be cranked up so far as to be used to intimidate or traumatise people like us.

NT conformation has driven me crazy for a long time.

Theres a kinda yes and mostly no for this. Yeah with fashion men dont have to dress well. But according to my guy friend, theres a ton of alpha male thing going down. If a guys doesnt conform to some at least semi-macho role, they'll be seen often as gay. And since women are taught to fear men, there a lot of "creep" judgements that women make out of men. Many guys have probably been called a creep, some more then others. So if a guy is weird, it means he's a creep. If a guys not macho, means he's gay or a wimp.



agree...and yes they do compete with their friends too. I've witnessed it. There's a lot of subtle competition amongst even friends. For men, for social status, for whatever. There's this thing, they'll still be all nice and sweet to their competitors or enemies but they'll talk s**t behind their backs and backstab them. Have you ever heard the phrase, "keep your friends close, keep your enemies even closer?" Have you heard the term, frenemies. Or perhaps I watch too much reality TV. Well it does happen. I havent witnessed the particularly nasty stuff tho. I've witnessed friends s**t talking behind their friends back and being nice to their face numerous times.