Yes, I am making my daughter interact with you

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Sibyl
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03 Oct 2011, 11:47 am

Sorry, basagu, I did forget The Netherlands. I was actually thinking of English-speaking countries, but of course there are English speakers scattered all over, just thinner in some countries than others.

NFW, this is a really good medium to practice "small talk": it's impossible to monopolize the conversation, and typing a lot takes a lot longer and is harder than talking a lot. And we're all typing, either at the same time, or maybe hours from now, when someone else comes online.



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03 Oct 2011, 12:02 pm

NaturalFireWave wrote:
There is this group called the Mnozil Brass that has an amazing trombone player in it. The guy has the ego of a trumpet player.


I love the sound of Brassroots, for instance their interpretation of the White Stripes' "Seven Nation Army":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAf2RIZ4JAE

They have some tracks on Myspace http://www.myspace.com/brassroots



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03 Oct 2011, 1:38 pm

Hi NaturalFireWave! I haven't seen you around the forums much, but I would love to get to know you better.

I like classical music too. You should try listening to the music of Helen Jane Long, Ludovico Einauldi and Yiruma. I know you said you like trumpets, but these artists are modern-day geniuses with the piano and I think you will really enjoy them. :)



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03 Oct 2011, 1:41 pm

IdahoRose wrote:
Hi NaturalFireWave! I haven't seen you around the forums much, but I would love to get to know you better.

I like classical music too. You should try listening to the music of Helen Jane Long, Ludovico Einauldi and Yiruma. I know you said you like trumpets, but these artists are modern-day geniuses with the piano and I think you will really enjoy them. :)


I can really recommended those artists! I have all Ludovico`s pieces on my iPod! Hes so awesome with the piano!

Also Yiruma is so gosu with the piano its almost unbelievable!


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cubedemon6073
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03 Oct 2011, 1:55 pm

NaturalFireWave wrote:
Right now I am listening to Haydn. Alison Balsom is the trumpet soloist.


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTTC_fD598A&ob=av2e[/youtube]

I love this song by Lenoard Cohen.



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12 Oct 2011, 5:34 pm

Thanks for the replies every one. I have been busy with school and have not had much time to say anything. I watched the videos and I liked them. :)



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12 Oct 2011, 6:05 pm

Hi NaturalFire Wave. Welcome to the forum.
I haven't got much to say because my interests are very different but possibly everything interests me so maybe we can find some common ground.


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OneStepBeyond
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12 Oct 2011, 6:16 pm

hi sweetie! you should get your mum to help you start a thread about trumpets- so you can talk to other people who play it. Sounds like you know a lot
there's also a teenagers section so you can talk to people your own age
I'll keep an eye out for your posts (:



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12 Oct 2011, 7:17 pm

NaturalFireWave wrote:
Thanks for the replies every one. I have been busy with school and have not had much time to say anything. I watched the videos and I liked them. :)


Heya.

I played the cornet in grade school, but didn't keep up with it. which I do kind of regret. I learned guitar and bass guitar several years later, both of which I still enjoy (but am out of practice).



jackbus01
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12 Oct 2011, 10:35 pm

NaturalFireWave wrote:
Thanks for the replies every one. I have been busy with school and have not had much time to say anything. I watched the videos and I liked them. :)


This is a good forum to post on. Wrong Planet is a large place and people seem to be open to talking to just about anything. I recommend exploring here and posting on whatever comes to mind. People seem to be pretty open-minded.



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12 Oct 2011, 10:57 pm

GreatSphinx wrote:
Let me add my reasoning for starting this as opposed to her just adding to another discussion. She does not know how to respond to other discussions. THAT is her problem. I am setting this up as a practice thread for her. Think of it as a way for her to practice her social skills. :) She needs to start somewhere, and today she would not communicate when she was supposed to in her classes and this is not the first time. I usually do the talking for her. I am trying to help her learn for herself.


I (and a lot of others) did respond to your daughter as you requested. However, I must be brutally honest (here's where I probably get myself in trouble). You really seem overbearing. If your daughter has social anxiety, I think it would be quite embarrassing to respond to the thread "Yes, I am making my daughter interact with you". I think trying to force social interaction is a disaster. It doesn't end well because the feelings are not mutual. Anyway maybe your daughter has a less dominant personality than you do. Maybe I am sensitive to this to because I thought my mother was overbearing growing up, that's possible too.
Yes, I am making you respond to this (or is that a little too direct).



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12 Oct 2011, 11:31 pm

jackbus01 wrote:
GreatSphinx wrote:
Let me add my reasoning for starting this as opposed to her just adding to another discussion. She does not know how to respond to other discussions. THAT is her problem. I am setting this up as a practice thread for her. Think of it as a way for her to practice her social skills. :) She needs to start somewhere, and today she would not communicate when she was supposed to in her classes and this is not the first time. I usually do the talking for her. I am trying to help her learn for herself.


I (and a lot of others) did respond to your daughter as you requested. However, I must be brutally honest (here's where I probably get myself in trouble). You really seem overbearing. If your daughter has social anxiety, I think it would be quite embarrassing to respond to the thread "Yes, I am making my daughter interact with you". I think trying to force social interaction is a disaster. It doesn't end well because the feelings are not mutual. Anyway maybe your daughter has a less dominant personality than you do. Maybe I am sensitive to this to because I thought my mother was overbearing growing up, that's possible too.
Yes, I am making you respond to this (or is that a little too direct).


I was one of those people who needed a little push to be able to learn how to do most things, so I can understand where this mother is coming from.
My mum left it up to her kids to decide when to do things on their own. My time came when I was 24.


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12 Oct 2011, 11:48 pm

pensieve wrote:
jackbus01 wrote:
GreatSphinx wrote:
Let me add my reasoning for starting this as opposed to her just adding to another discussion. She does not know how to respond to other discussions. THAT is her problem. I am setting this up as a practice thread for her. Think of it as a way for her to practice her social skills. :) She needs to start somewhere, and today she would not communicate when she was supposed to in her classes and this is not the first time. I usually do the talking for her. I am trying to help her learn for herself.


I (and a lot of others) did respond to your daughter as you requested. However, I must be brutally honest (here's where I probably get myself in trouble). You really seem overbearing. If your daughter has social anxiety, I think it would be quite embarrassing to respond to the thread "Yes, I am making my daughter interact with you". I think trying to force social interaction is a disaster. It doesn't end well because the feelings are not mutual. Anyway maybe your daughter has a less dominant personality than you do. Maybe I am sensitive to this to because I thought my mother was overbearing growing up, that's possible too.
Yes, I am making you respond to this (or is that a little too direct).


I was one of those people who needed a little push to be able to learn how to do most things, so I can understand where this mother is coming from.
My mum left it up to her kids to decide when to do things on their own. My time came when I was 24.


I really don't understand where this mother is coming from, but i respect that people have different views or experiences than I do. I am way over it now. It is all in the past and my current relationship with my parents is good. I really resented being told growing up, who I should hang out with, what clothes to wear, how my hair needs to be etc. In other words everything seemed critical and overbearing. I always felt like there was something wrong with me. Oddly, I was seen by others as the good kid. I never got into trouble. Of course all of this telling me what to do and how to socialize was "for my own good". Anyway it is all in the past.
What happened to you at age 24?



GreatSphinx
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13 Oct 2011, 10:35 pm

jackbus01 wrote:
pensieve wrote:
jackbus01 wrote:
GreatSphinx wrote:
Let me add my reasoning for starting this as opposed to her just adding to another discussion. She does not know how to respond to other discussions. THAT is her problem. I am setting this up as a practice thread for her. Think of it as a way for her to practice her social skills. :) She needs to start somewhere, and today she would not communicate when she was supposed to in her classes and this is not the first time. I usually do the talking for her. I am trying to help her learn for herself.


I (and a lot of others) did respond to your daughter as you requested. However, I must be brutally honest (here's where I probably get myself in trouble). You really seem overbearing. If your daughter has social anxiety, I think it would be quite embarrassing to respond to the thread "Yes, I am making my daughter interact with you". I think trying to force social interaction is a disaster. It doesn't end well because the feelings are not mutual. Anyway maybe your daughter has a less dominant personality than you do. Maybe I am sensitive to this to because I thought my mother was overbearing growing up, that's possible too.
Yes, I am making you respond to this (or is that a little too direct).


I was one of those people who needed a little push to be able to learn how to do most things, so I can understand where this mother is coming from.
My mum left it up to her kids to decide when to do things on their own. My time came when I was 24.


I really don't understand where this mother is coming from, but i respect that people have different views or experiences than I do. I am way over it now. It is all in the past and my current relationship with my parents is good. I really resented being told growing up, who I should hang out with, what clothes to wear, how my hair needs to be etc. In other words everything seemed critical and overbearing. I always felt like there was something wrong with me. Oddly, I was seen by others as the good kid. I never got into trouble. Of course all of this telling me what to do and how to socialize was "for my own good". Anyway it is all in the past.
What happened to you at age 24?


I really do understand where all of you are coming from with your concern for her and my actions. Let me give a little more background. First, before I ever even made the thread, I included her in the discussion. I read her what it was that I was going to say and I got her okay before I said it (the OP). The title was my attempt (and it seems a poor one) at humor. I always include her in conversations that involve her. I don't believe in talking to someone in third person.

My daughter doesn't has as much an anxiety of posting on the internet as a lack of knowledge of how to do it. Yes, there is social anxiety with her, but for her, it is coming out to others in person (people come to her all the time - she is a people magnet). She has never really done it on the internet before, so she does not know if her trepidation is fear of the unknown or if it is a social fear. I am watching the thread, and she asks my advice on what to say, although today the response was pretty much her own (a suggestion was thrown in from me, but she came up with the wording).

I realize that many people have been forced into situations that they do not want, and some have been through some "social conditioning" of sorts as well. I am not for that, and I am also very much in tune to how my daughter is feeling... I have to be. We feed off of each other's emotions. I do not push her further than she needs to be pushed. This summer, she HAD to be put into a situation that was WAY beyond what I was comfortable with (I will let her tell that if she wants to), but since it was school related, I did not have a choice. She has been very stressed, and I am watching her very carefully.

For her right now, her grades at school depend on her interactions online (honestly, lack of participation could mean a letter grade difference). She has to actually participate in discussions. She has to give her opinion, and respond to what others say. She does not know how to do this. THIS is why I started this... to let her have practice with that... not to have her forced into a social situation that she is not ready for. I am not sure that some of you quite understand. It is not that she is not comfortable in the social setting... it is that she does not know how to communicate online. She is afraid that she will say something that will get her banned or that she will say the wrong thing. IRL, she is very talkative. She talks all the time. It is just online communication she is not comfortable with. As I told her today, I am the opposite. I have done online for years and years. I don't do IRL very well, but the net is second nature for me.

I cannot keep telling her what to say when she needs to reply to someone. She needs to come up with the words herself. Really. I am not forcing this on her, although I know my OP title suggests otherwise (bad humor).

So she and all of you know, I am very proud of her. She has accomplished so much in this past year that I have had custody of her. She has done more for herself than I ever imagined she would, and I really am very proud. :) She is a great kid, and I love her very much.


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GreatSphinx
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13 Oct 2011, 10:40 pm

Quote:
Anyway maybe your daughter has a less dominant personality than you do.

And this made me smile. :) She is so strong. She is stronger than I every thought I could be. My "dominance" is only a mother trying to help her kid. She is so much more dominant than I am. I wish I was like her. She is going to grow into a very strong, person some day.


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13 Oct 2011, 10:44 pm

What you said makes a lot of sense, GreatSphinx. Posting on Internet forums is good practice for certain interaction/communication skills. I wish I had posted on the Internet when I was your daughter's age, because I really did not know how to communicate through writing or even write an email until a year ago. Previously, I really sucked at making myself understood in writing and responding to others in writing. I could never think of anything to write, and it really was because I couldn't come up with the words. It was like the written communication was too spontaneous and I had no script to follow and there was no other way for me to get my thoughts across. Posting on Internet forums really made a big difference in my written and spoken communication skills over the past year.