Would this bother Aspies?

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For me it would fall under the category of things to make my partner happy that I don't really enjoy but they would also do things for me in turn a small sacrifice for better relationships. I am very much against organized religion but I am okay with certain churches.

I think it really depends on the individual. Some people might not mind going, whiles others would. With an Aspie spouse who didn't want to go, I wouldn't force the issue. Discounting the religious aspect, the whole social scene and being in a crowd of unfamiliar faces may be too stressful to take.

As far as the, "if you go I'll cook you a nice dinner" thing, well, I don't think most Aspies respond well to the carrot & the stick idea. I know I don't…

A difficult question to answer without knowing the persons view on religion. If they do not share your religious belief then it would be very unfair to put any pressure on them to go, and can only lead to resentment in the long term regardless of what "rewards" are on offer. It is difficult for a religious person to comprehend just how mind-numbingly dull church is to the atheist. An hour in a church would be like watching paint dry for 24. Personally I couldn't do it, having to attend anything like that which doesn't hold any interest for me makes me feel trapped and sends my anxiety levels sky-high.

I think it would depend on the nature of the church and the Aspie. In my case I tried it once and it didn't work. The church was a very intense one and I found it oppressive to have to sit there without objecting while they said stuff I strongly disagreed with.....stuff about the only way to happiness being through Jesus. I also felt that a lot of the congregation were using the occasion as a dressing-up contest, and I thought there was something rather judgemental and elitist going on. I had to leave before the end, the temptation to heckle was getting irresistible....I'd already shouted out "rubbish!" once

So I feel that churches are for believers, on the whole, though if the church and the infidel are both fairly laid back about it, the two might co-exist peacefully. I suspect the Aspie "pathoogical honesty" trait has quite a bearing on this - a neurotypical atheist might have less of a problem concealing their disbelief. I think anybody wanting an atheist to attend church should ask themselves why they want that. In my case my partner made mattters worse by telling me too much about how much she wanted me to attend church with her. It just wasn't going to happen, so all I could do was to feel horribly guilty about hurting her feelings so much. I would hope that a neurotypical believer would have played down their disappointment and spared me a lot of unnecessary angst.

For most social situations I'd say that yeah, your spouse should make an effort to attend with you (assuming you were understanding if he didn't do it every time, or had to bail early). I do this for my partner quite a bit. The NT in a relationship should not be the only one to put their wants aside from time to time.

Church, however, is one of a very few (so few I can't really think of any others; maybe hunting or something) social events where I think a partner (any partner, aspie or NT) should be able to say "no" and have that be the end of it.

Me myself i wouldn't like it.. most aspies really need to be into something before taking part in it so if that person isn't believing it might get annoying, and religious happening have quite a bit of rules that the aspie might not understand so i wouldn't try it if i was you.

If your partner isn't religious than he'll feel even more isolated by going to church. On top of it being an overwhelming social situation, he'll feel a lack of commonality with the churchgoers regardless of how nice they are. I wouldn't go. Perhaps the two of you can find a gathering of people who share both of your interests.
I would find it demeaning to be asked to do this in exchange for a good meal.