ediself wrote:
swbluto wrote:
btbnnyr wrote:
I am wondering if NTs know what they are doing when they are obsessing over social rank and group membership and the other stuff in the book. Do they know that their brains are wired to obsess over this stuff, or is it such an automatic process, like breathing, that they automatically behave in the NT social manners without knowing what they are doing? I'm guessing it depends on the complexity of the social power play and group dynamics, so the simple stuff is probably automatic and the complex stuff you have to think about.
I'm pretty sure it's automatic and most people are completely unaware of the underlying forces shaping their social behavior and perceptions. Now, sure, in more complex social interactions and more complex social maneuvering, there's more 'working memory' involved in the reasoning process so it's a little more explicit, but they're still quite unaware of what exactly leads them to think in
that way.
I'm pretty sure it's not a conscious thing, and also: they're not proud of it, they try to hide it from themselves and
if you point out to them that their reaction was entirely emotional and disregarded logic and prevented a good outcome, they'll get mad at you. They do not want to know.
This is all that delicate balance of having a "conscience;" the values that were impressed or made an impression on you, vs. the 'social contract.' If the contract says: In this society to directly point out flaws is rude, then the consequences are negative by doing so.
Unless you are dealing with people with clinical personality disorders, they will yield, but it has to do with "values" and navigating the waters of inherent egocentrism that people more or less have. It's an art that can be 'done' within these dynamics.
This conditioning is subconscious.
20 Oct 2011, 2:58 pm
