Able to socialise but not able to like it

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Does anyone else get easily distracted at times too? I can be trying to hold up my end of a conversation and trying to listen intently to the other person...then it's like...wow...look at that plane or something just catches my eye...and before I know it I'm 3 steps into "the zone" and haven't caught a word of what they just said. I have to watch I don't let my eyes wander...because my mind often follows.

Awww but small pieces are easier to chew

Anyways yeah I hate talking to people though Ive gotten pretty decent at it.

When it comes to authority figures though I get nervous for some reason I guess because I feel like theyre bound to misjudge me and they are in a position to cause me harm its the unpredictability of it I suppose.

For example I was walking down the street and got stopped by a police car who saw me jaywalking.. I was shaking so bad they were nearly convinced I was on drugs

I do the distracting thing all the time, except it's when I'M doing the talking! I'll be like "Well, my house is really quite neat and..." I'll then be staring up at a cloud that looks remarkably like a butt (oh yeah, I'm so mature... ) and I'll just drift off and gaze at it... a few seconds later my friend goes "Uh, Tim, you were saying?" and I'm like "Oh, what? What was I talking about again?" and they'll look at me with their hands to their foreheads...

KBABZ, you definately have ADD or ADHD; very common with AS.

I'm finding it more and more difficult lately to pretend I want to talk to people I don't know that well. It seems so many people I hardly know or don't know at all want to chat about stupid things. I can fake interest, but I know I'm faking it and it's taking more and more effort. So much so that I try pretty hard to avoid the situations altogether or at least to cut them short. Like I'm in the breakroom and someone starts small talking me and I just want to hurry and finish making my coffee and get out of there. I start walking out the door as I'm talking to them over my shoulder. That seems to be a good signal. I also get a reasonable amount of discomfort from chit chat with strangers. It's like a level of intimacy that I don't want between us and it makes me feel dirty.

I can understand the need to socialize in a relationship, but shouldn't someone in a relationship understand aspergers? I'd think so, since there needs to be a strong commitment. If the person does not want to understand the condition, why bother being involved in the first place? Relationships like that most likely will not last. I am no expert on relationships, but it just seems to make sense.

In terms of typical socializing, I can socialize for a while. But most social discussions tend to bore me after a while, and I'm really not into all the games and stuff NTs like to play with one another. I can converse lengthy with people whom are close to me, even for long periods of time, but that's one-to-one discussion. Where there is a group, I just don't want to get involved. That's why I've been known to play by myself at parties when I was younger. I used to read books during school recesses. Nowadays, I just don't bother going to most of those. I tend to enjoy excitement, but it has to be something I'm really interested in.

I guess that I just don't go out of my way to socialize.

- Ray M -

I like socialising a lot, but I can't stand being in a situation such as a party for very long, more than 4 hours. It draws all of my eneregy to read the people, analyse the social situation best I can and come up with an idea of what to do when I have no clue what's going on. It's like, okay, she says this and when people say this, they usually say it in this tone and use these words. They may expect this or that reaction, how is my tone suppose to be and what words will most likely be misunderstood? Most of time when I have no clue what's going on I'll just walk away. Keeps things less stressing.

When there's music, too much people and much more interesting things around, I forget about the social situation often as well. Like, there's music, I like it and then just stop listening or talking.

I do like it, I have a certain need for social things because I do like talking with a few people, but I'll be fine seeing them only once a week or once every fifteen days. I'm very happy with that, I have no use for people most of the time.

I hope Dalebert knows that I was kinda exagerrating, but yeah I do get distracted a little bit if I'm talking to someone, and it'll show because my talking wil gradually slow down to a halt if I let it, a bit like letting your foot off the accelerator in the car I supppose.

In relation to Sora, my friend once insisted that I go to the school disco. I didn't exactly want to, but I knew he'd be there and that was cool. As you can guess, I did nothing at the party, because I really didn't like it in the hall. Good thing the music kept everyone distracted, and everyone who asked what I was doing syphasized when I said "Well, I don't really want to be here, but I'm here anyway." Something along those lines. After that, my friend learnt from experience, and now backs me up whenever someone wants me to go to the latest school disco. Neat, eh?

Usually if I'm out in town I'm with a friend so that 'repels' others from talking, and when it's not that I've got my MP3 Player on, which is a fair excuse to mistakenly ignore someone (I think it's rude not to at least say SOMETHING when someone speak to you).

I can sort of read people - I can tell when someone's angry, or (I think) when they're getting bored. But socializing and conversation is incredibly tiring and hard going. I'm constantly thinking, "What do I say next? Do I say anything - are they trying to end the conversation or trying to keep it going?" I have difficulty telling that. Sense of humor is also a big problem for me. Either I don't understand the joke when the other person says something and laughs, or I'll laugh at something and immediately see by the look on their face that I shouldn't have found that funny.

And I agree with a lot of others on this thread - most people's conversation is very boring. Do other people they speak to really find it interesting? Or is it just some strange ritual they go through for some reason where everyone pretends to be interested in everyone else?

I go through phases where I want to be around people for a few months and then enter a reclusive phase where I don't want to be mostly alone. Alot of my closest friends know this but it's hard for some people to grasp when I tell them.

"Or is it just some strange ritual they go through for some reason where everyone pretends to be interested in everyone else?"

Pretty much but from my understanding theres more to it.. they are gathering information on each other in a tactical battle for social supremacy so theres this whole competition going on in between the lines of their boring conversations or so Im told.

^A bit like the crusades in how it's absolutely pointless...