What do most people think of you?

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Via people who know me around college: I seem younger than I am, am viewed as intelligent and a good teacher of things I'm interested in.

Really, how people have told me I seem fits really well with people viewing me as a 'little professor' who happens to be in her early 20s rather than younger than that because I present as young.

Via my diagnosis: Watching me in the evaluation I came across as passive, submissive, and more likely to do nothing than put in an active social commitment. (I disagree that I won't put in an active social commitment, I just need a reason to do so and won't sit around 'chatting' with people who don't so much as treat me like they care about me.)


As for how aware am I of this - well, seeing as people have actively told me these things, I'm not sure how meaningful they are.

I feel the same - and had exactly the same thoughts about those questions!

I don't care, i've outgrown the need for external validation, mostly because 99% of normal people are ignorant judgemental idiots.

My true friends has said that i have integrity <- their opinion matters.

People have a tendency to project their own self image unto me.

I've had several jobs over the past ten years. At those work places where many had some kind of post-secondary education or were happy with themselves, people tended to think I was one of the smartest people they ever met. If, however, I was employed at a fast food restaurant or similar low-level job with people who didn't even finish high school and had miserable lives, they thought I was "cuckoo", "crazy" or "slow" and treated me accordingly.

This is part of why I find it so hard to trust people. The way they interpret my actions and treat me has more to do with how they feel about themselves than reality. And with so many people with low self esteem who would love to take their self-hatred out on an "acceptable" target such as myself, being around others frightens me.

I get this a lot, especially from working class people. There aren't many who prefer to get to know people rather than project their own demons. It's weird that they have no self-awareness.

People who actually knew me said I was 'tolerant'. I honestly don't know what that means.

Most people think I'm simple. Not exactly weird, not exactly different, just simple. Incredibly stupid. I just know it. I have a blank, ''stupid'' expression on my face, and yes, people treat me like I have no feelings, no confidence, no strengths, and just the complete opposite from stubborn. They just think there is a blank space in my head, and probably think that if you look through one ear you could see right through the other. They just think that if they treat me like s**t I will still come running back and kiss their arse.

Really, I may look blank and stupid and have a permanent daft expression on my face, but inside I am full of thoughts and emotions, and I make mental judgements on people all the time. If somebody is trying to think that they can get away with hurting my feelings, inside I look at them and think, ''wait, that's not good'', but because I'm too afraid to stand up for myself (fear of conflict) I just let them carry on.

At my voluntary job at a charity shop, I was always put on the till, which is not what I like doing. I preferred to work upstairs in the stock room, sorting out the donations and ironing them, etc. I did want to practice more on completing set tasks for when I find a paid job, rather than just sitting on the till all day. I know people might say ''but you'd then be practising your social skills when on the till'', that's not true for me. I'd rather work on my social skills and multi-tasking by working beside colleagues, because that way I make friends aswell as getting used to moving around on my feet for long period of time, completing different tasks. That is what I was trying to work more on. I explained this to the manager, but she still didn't listen, and she always made me go on the till, but there was about 5 or 6 other people who had also said that they don't want to do the till, and they never got asked once to go on the till, not even for 5 minutes or so. She always just made me go down, even after telling her several times that I didn't want to do it and that I prefer being upstairs sorting out the stock (which I was actually more better at). So, all this told me that I must be looked upon as stupid, because the manager obviously didn't take into account that I really didn't want to be on the till, but straight away understood when the others didn't want to do the till. And they only told her once, and no it's not what way I said it or anything - she just knew that I would put up with anything and so wasn't afraid to put me down on the till.

Then I walked out, which shocked everyone to death.

That I'm cute/weird/nerdy.

There s not one day going by without me being called either: Weird, maniac, psycho, insane, nerd, stupid etc.. So I guess that's what NTs think of me.

You are clearly smart and eloquent but you are quite hard on yourself. Without any insight into your feelings, your manager woman could have decided that till work was more skilled than backroom sorting. She was wrong and not listening but (perhaps) not exploiting you, or thinking you are stupid.

She wouldn't have put someone on a front of house job that she thought was simple or had a 'stupid' expression, would she? It wouldn't be good for business. Maybe front-of-house is more responsible and everyone was shirking it? She failed when she didn't listen to you but its hard to be a good listener when you have no experience of what its like to be in others shoes.

I have no idea what people think of me.

I've had people misinterpret my quietness as being "nice", "sweet", or "stuck-up" before. I think a lot of people think I'm weird. I think after all the bullying I went through as a kid I just expect people to not like me or treat me badly.

I had similar dodgy experiences volunteering in a charity shop. The new manager hated me, she couldn't look me in the eye, and she tried to make the place very cliquey. (It was funny though - I had worked out how to go on the till without dying of boredom so she brought in her own people to go on the till because she saw it as a power thing like the laundry press in Prisoner Cell Block H. Also, the cool people she wanted in her clique were playing her, but a lot of people prefer that to honesty). I think it's true that nonautistics of lower social status use more blatantly nasty methods to claim power. Smarter people may still be about power but they use niceness and inclusivity to attempt to own you.

Not only that - I get made to give up my seat for older people on buses and in the bus station, but I don't see them telling other youngsters to get up. It's probably because they look tough all the time, where I have this impression on my face which says, ''I am a weakling - I don't retaliate ever - so do what you want to me.'' I may not be thinking it, but I can't seem to wipe this impression off my face.

OK, look on the bright side - at least (for me) it doesn't make me look dodgy or weird. People plump babies near me without a thought of nervousness about me (these days people are overprotective of their kids). My mum said that when I was a tiny baby she went to a park and wanted to sit on a bench with me, but saw this strange looking person sitting there, and she didn't trust them so she had to go to another park. But when I sit on a bench, often people come and sit next to me with babies.
OK, maybe it's because I'm a girl. I think people are more suspicious of odd-looking type of men. Not being sexist - it's a true thing.

Last edited by Joe90 on 23 Oct 2011, 11:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

I haven't had great experiences of working in charity shops either. They're a waste of time and they make you feel unwanted. I've also been thought of as stupid and emotionless before because of the blank expression on my face I get sometimes.

Fairly recent comments about me IRL by others are:

"Very pretty" by a cute guy recently - the taken one *sigh*

Above average intelligence.

"Narrow-focused"

"You look great".

"You have pretty eyes".

"Kind"

@School, I'm "strange"/"weird". "Atypical". The teachers though "he don't care about class", because I'm always with a neutral expression, or an expression like "too much peoples here. Wtf am I doing here ?".

Outside, I don't know. Probably "is he too stupid to speak ?".

@Home, my cat loves me, my PC don't betray me. Nothing else matters.

Oh, I think I almost get into fights a lot but I'm not sure. It's my gentle and mysterious eyes, I suppose they make me look weak so people want to mess with me, but then I always like to engage with people so it goes nowhere. Many very weird encounters that I believe were meant to play out as monkey power struggles but got subverted. I walked past a guy at night and he said "Don't worry, I'm not going to mug you." I just said "I know" and he looked very confused. Something was meant to happen there but I don't know what. This has happened to me many times.

I don't know, I can't read their minds. I know that most people don't like me, so probably they don't think anything nice.