If Autism is a ''good thing'', why do most have anger?

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I'm not that angry of a person. I was diagnosed with Depression in the late 90s. It wasn't the autism that caused the depression. The depression was caused by the crappy way that people have treated me up to until that time, and some people still treat me like crap. My depression was not caused by my autism. I'm

I'm happy to be on the spectrum. I enjoy my special interests and I have the ability to focus on things for long periods of time. My special interests are a big part of who I am, and that's probably why I've kept the three main interests that have shaped my life and my personality, starting at the age of 9. I'm proud of my special interests, because they kept me away from street drugs.

I don't wish to be an NT, because I've been hurt many times by a lot of NTs. I have a hard time trusting a lot of NTs without getting to know them first. My parents tried to raise the autism out of me, and I've attempted suicide at the age of 14 by drinking that Vicks oil that you put in a vaporizer. I did that, because I had a feeling that my parents, both NT would never accept me, no matter what. I was also treated like crap by my NT peers in school. Why don't I wish to be an NT? Because I've been hurt by so many of them. I don't hate all NTs. I like the nice ones.

I'd say for me and my NVLD, it's good in some ways, and bad in others. Everyone is born with strengths and weaknesses, I can't really say if it's a "good thing" or not. It's good in some ways, bad in others. I look at it like owning a Ferrari. Owning a Ferrari is tough, you have to worry about breaking it a lot, parking is a problem with them, they're basically wholly impractical. But they're awesome. An "NT", meanwhile, is more like a Honda Civic. Reliable, practical, all that fun stuff, but it can never dream of Ferarri like performance, and to push Ferrari like performance out a of a Civic via modification is extremely hard and even then it's still trying to do something a Ferrari does naturally.

But, specifically on anger, it's more the way I process emotions is different. When I get overwhelmed, uh, yeah, I get angry. However, on the flipside, the things "normal people" get overwhelmed with I can completely thrive and do awesome in. Then again, the things normal people find easy, I don't. So for me, it's more getting angry at inappropriate times, rather than being angry at everything all the time. Generally I'm pretty "chill." Just when I get too overwhelmed or whatever, I sorta "snap." Have you seen normal people, anyway? They flip out if someone like stops for a stop sign while driving or goes the speed limit when they wanna go like 60 in a 35.. They're plenty angry too.

As far as the dark brooding anger stuff, I'm not terribly into it. I mostly listen to as happy music as possible, like dance music and Japanese pop and stuff, to take my mind off things like that. I have probably like a dozen songs total that are like...Atreyu. Other than that, I try to expose myself to "unangry" kind of media, to not be reminded of angry type stuff all the time.

But then again, with my NVLD, I feel like I'm on the Wrong Planet on this very board, so yeah...

Yeah, I know that. My uncle is NT but you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of him because he has a vicious temper. It's normal to be angry, but I am actually an angry person, even though I'm also sweet-natured, and so having 2 opposite emotions as part of my personality is very difficult indeed and I know it's my condition that is making me feel this way. I only have to get in somebody's way in a shop and I feel like screaming - even if I'm not having a bad day or anything. Little things like that can trigger off my temper, and I show it aswell by huffing and puffing and storming off. I know I hear other people tut sometimes, but I get all these angry thoughts in my head and I picture myself pushing everyone out of the way and becoming dangerous (which I'm frightened might happen one day, due to anger).


I don't blame anybody else for my anger. I just blame myself. My parents are supportive and understanding, my family loves me and has accepted me like I am since the day I first started school when I first showed all of my symptoms all in one go (nobody suspected anything wrong with me before I started school). I am only angry with myself, and I think I am my own worst enemy. Sometimes I blame myself for all of the bad things what have happened in my family, like I blame myself for my cousin going off with a control-freak maybe because I used to have a lot of crying fits when I was a child and upset my cousin (since she was the closest cousin to me throughout childhood). Also I blame my brother's chronic depression on myself, because I usually take up a lot of attention with my parents, even as an adult, and my brother feels pushed out of the family and only can talk to his friends, never my parents because I'm always there. So that is my fault too.

Last edited by Joe90 on 06 Nov 2011, 1:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I never used to be angry when I was young. Multiple disappointments over the years contributes to anger

Nowadays, Wrong Planet is a big source of anger for me

I have a lot of issues with my family.

My sister has two little girls in elementary school. I want to be there for them to the extent I can. That's the most important thing. Problem is, my sister is a dangerous person. She has hurt me on several occasions. She's aspie, most probably, just a different kind of aspie than I am. And it's a sad and infuriating situation all the way around.

After 20+ years of living on my own, I am back living with my parents. My father is a harsh blamer and critic. My Mom wants a marsupial relationship with me, and it's not very healthy at all.

For me it is my general frustration with my day-to-day life and the occasion when I just can't cope with my emotions. I had a very bad family situation as a teenager where my parent's had a really ugly divorce and I bore the brunt of it. One day I blew up and ended up in anger management. It was probably the best thing that ever happened to me, and not just the anger part, it's mostly just a group of men frustrated with their lives (usually bad relationships). I think it's healthy to vent appropriately (not at someone) otherwise I tend to get overwhelmed and become apathetic.

Bad relationships are a major cause of anger and because aspie's suck at them, we probably tend to have lots of frustration and anger. Try to repair, reduce or eliminate bad relationships. Family are a difficult one - social convention says "but they're your family, you should love them unconditionally" but my mental health says "run away!" I maintain a balance of the occasional dinner to keep them happy and they don't interfere in my daily life.

If brown skin is a ''good thing'', why do most have anger?

I'm not sure why this should be so hard to understand. It's pretty simple really. But let me begin first by explaining that for me, life with Autism is a love/hate relationship. I do feel very strongly that it does amount to a disability, but that doesn't necessarily mean there is anything inherently wrong with "being" an Aspie. There are positive sides to it and negative from my perspective. Most of the positive for me is internal. Some of the negative is internal, and some of the negative comes from other people's attitudes toward Autism.

For those who view it ONLY as something to be proud of though, it's pretty clear to me where the anger comes from.

Suppose you thought of it as a good thing. How do you think you would feel is the rest of the world continuously pounds the idea into you that it is not only a BAD thing, but needs to be fixed?

I don't think it's any more complicated than that. I do get angry about how the world seems to view me and how I think. And I get angry because it isn't my fault, not because I think the way I think is great, good, or even right. It's just who I am, and it gets tiring, frustrating and stressful constantly hearing that I'm the one who needs to change, but at the same time I'm just supposed to accept the world and all of its intolerance the way it is.

Though the motivation behind my anger is a bit different from others who only view their Autism as "great" or "good" the result is the same.

Just want to say that just because a person loves their Autism and embraces it doesn't mean they embrace every single aspect of it.

To generalize: I think the dichotomy between Autism and NT personality solely lies between introversion and extroversion, as regards to the percentages of "introverted" spectrumites vs introverted NT's. I'd venture to say the "more emotionality" would come to play with the higher percentages of extroverts on the NT side of the coin.... the higher quantity gives rise to the impression of more. There are NT hermits, recluses, introverts and "loners."

And: In some( many?) you diminish ToM and substitute non-people interests as in "special," and you have an NT with interests outside of developing or forging 'people' bonds..... hence the "lower desire." But people are people are just people, outside of the social sphere.

How do you say this in English?

That having more emotion or having less emotion as expressed in "personality" lies in the Meyers brigs introversion extroversion personalities. More Aspies fall into introverted-dom, or saying it more accurately, more people with INTJ, INTP (etc) neurology, also happened to fall into the autistic spectrum -- vs. extroverts that fall into the same autism spectrum. The introverts are over represented in the spectrum.

In essence, reading any more into this is making it sound 'trans-human.'

Sorry. Again. In English please? No buzz words?

Talk to me like I'm an idiot. I won't be offended. I'm just NOT following you, and frankly just not willing to spend the time looking it all up. It is all familiar, yes, but a lot of stuff I haven't talked about or used for quite a while. Don't mean to be a smart-arse, really. I got some of your point previously, but then you lost me. Now it's even more confusing.

I'm likely ISTP. ISTPs are generally considered cool motorcycle riding people like Snake Plisken and Clint Eastwood. That's probably why I got diagnosed so late, I didn't "automatically" get placed into the "nerd" category. Like I walked into school, right, was popular, cool, etc, at first but then people started to go "he's a little off."

As far as ISTPs go with emotion, it's interesting. I was reading on a forum, and ISTPs all scored abysmally on Simon Baron Cohen's empathy test. I score like 14/80 on it consistently, and the usual Aspergers score is like 20/80. Most of the ISTPs on this forum thread scored far below 20, like 90% of them. A few scored normal at like 30%. Meanwhile, the ISTJs scored like 26-40% usually. So as far as connections to the "spectrum" there's that.

I think some of that anger could be from frustration of not being able to communicate effectively. People tend to misunderstand me, or they simply don't listen. I feel like everything I say isn't valued. After all why would they take anyone who's considered 'mentally ill' seriously? I really hate the stigma.

Introverts = People who are to themselves and withdrawn
Extroverts = People who are expressive and seek out others (They seem more emotional)

There are more extroverted NTs than extroverted aspies, which gives the "impression" that NTs are "more emotional".

That's basically what he's saying.

However, I think that NTs are genuinely more emotional and it's not just a matter of "introverts are less emotional" that makes aspies less emotional.