How do you deal with coworkers that dislike you

Post Reply New Topic

Well usually I end up getting fired before I can quite decide wether it seems the other employees like me or not......but other then that I imagine I would try to just ignore it and not let it get to me but then end up thinking about it too much and having it affect the way I function in an obvious manner until something sets me off and I'm likely to make an idiot of myself......in which case everyone except for me gets a good laugh and of course I would get fired...maybe I would even get a referral to the mental health services along with being fired.

In my experiance it's kinda hard to do your job when you know everyone hates you, and especially if they harras you on a daily basis. Luckily I have not had an experiance that bad at any jobs yet......but I remember at school it made it hard to get stuff done because having no support and feeling like crap while everyone hates you really kills the motivation to do much.

so just a thought, I mean of course people are paid to do their job....but having co-workers who treat you like a fellow human rather than a peice of garbage probably helps one do their job more efficiently.

I, on my part, just quit my job after two years. The workplace itself was a hellhole since day one, and I didn't like being there. It was just my teammates, whom I have stuck with for more than a year, and it took quite a while before I warmed up to them. When the team was dissolved, things went awry. I didn't forge any significant relationships with my new teammates, and when I got promoted (with no increase in pay whatsoever), I started having conflicts with my co-workers.

I believe everyone is right about getting paid to work, but people around you can significantly affect your performance.

I'm developing a more and more carefree sense of "I don't give a damn" about co-workers like this, when there's a co-worker who virtually or totally blanks me which is something I increasingly notice where I work. For example I've had queries from one such co-worker today, which I'm casually putting to the bottom of the pile and will maybe get on to eventually, depending on my workload. Or maybe not, it's just that I'll only get on to them once absolutely everything else is finished. It's only fair when I'm a hair's breadth above total blanking from that co-worker. After all, the type of procrastination I'm adopting towards such people always happens to me at the hands of others and is what people seem to do when they are a bit more hale and hearty than the person they're blanking.

And I increasingly notice that, especially with an influx of younger women coming into my workplace on college placements and as volunteers, adding to those already there. It's disproportionately likely to be younger women who blank me at work, or in any other area of life. Men do not do this to me at work. Women past a certain age or life stage tend not to do it.

I've struggled with the impression that this may say something about me, a message that I present as some sort of pervert (against which I adopt an assiduous and frankly obsessive guarding in terms of interaction, body language and eye contact). But maybe not, as I think there's another reason which is cultural. I notice that out of the younger women, those who blank me tend to be mainstreamers in the Scottish cultural identity here, as I'm perceived to somehow should have but actually not naturally evolved into that mainstream. They are also usually more fortunate than me in terms of the class stratification that still very much ret*ds UK social development. Out of the non-blanking people - who pretty much have to be the type of people who make no differences in the way they treat everyone - I note that one's Canadian, one's English, and one (who works in a cleaning team here) is a local girl but probably from a poorer background. (With the last one, a lovely flirty brief moment was shared in the lift yesterday, which added much spark to my day.)

Yeah, are there any SEVERE aspies out there who are able to keep a job? If so, WHAT DO YOU DO?? I need to know please... I'm desperate And how do you deal with cruel people at work besides being ignorant about it?

I would say my Asperger's is quite pronounced. More than a little. Holding down jobs has been one indicator of the severity of my Asperger's, as I either found it difficult to hold down previous jobs and/or I was constantly left in no doubt that my position in them was insecure. I have held down my current job as an administrator far better, but then again I did similar admin/finance work in previous jobs and they were shaky positions so it's nothing to do with my line of work. It's because I have managers in this job who actually are not narcissists. I have held down this job better because of the environment. It's the luck of the draw. You can't choose who you work with. I'm fresh from, yet again, saying hello to a young female co-worker and being totally blanked. I'm dealing with it by realising that if she's going to be like that, I equally and reciprocally don't give a flying eff about her.

High school crap never ends. The 18 year old tools, wind up being the 40 year old tools driving everyone nuts at work. On the rare occasion life gives them a huge dope slap, and they change.

Don't count on the gossip queens and jackasses changing as they age.

^^^^^^^^

+10

Never argue with stupid. They will drag you down to their level, and beat you with experience. Favorite saying from my ER doctor friend.

hmm I was going to give it a +10 as well, made me laugh which improved my mood a little.

Trust me Sweetleaf, I have often been in the same boat. I was forced as a child to work for my parents who were very abusive. It seems to be a lifeong issue with me. My last job, I tolerated being verbally abused for years before I was let go. I had co-workers, an in-house contractor, the CEO, & a co-worker all get verbally abusive towards me over the years. The CEO promoted me & then turned right around in front of all the office staff & demoted me. I was treated as less than human by all of them. On top of that, another co-worker refused to do his job & I got a lot of heat from customers who chewed me out because I did answer my phone. It's hard to stay positive & enjoy doing a job where one is constantly under fire. 6 Years was the longest I've ever lasted in one job. Was told by an autistic evaluator that because I held the job for years, I couldn't possibly have Aspergers. One job out of many obtained in 49 years. Most of my employment opportunities lasted little more than a few days or weeks before I was terminated.

So how do even keep a job with asperger.

I am HFA, and worked as a phone-based customer service representative for two years before I resigned. For one, this was not my job of preference, and dealing with people is not my forte. What I do to keep myself from going crazy is to do some things I really am good at in between work, including clerical work for my supervisors (which I find easier than being on the phone and deal with haranguing customers), thinking of good thoughts and daydreaming, and... simply being me--being autistic. Hope this helps.



Well, I kept my job for over two years, and I, a high-functioning autistic, testify to that.

Thing is I don't tolerate being verbally abused anymore......well I attempt but it never ends well because I am bound to get angry and make a spectacle of myself which will certainly expose that people are treating me badly but would also definiantly get me fired. So that is part of why there are a lot of jobs that don't appeal to me in the first place

I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that I'm not going to 'fit in' any where I work. Sometimes if the work is highly monitored I can avoid the getting fired bit simply by doing a lot more work than everyone else does, HR departments tend to look favourably on that sort of thing.

Post deleted by author.

Last edited by Quixotic on 21 Nov 2011, 5:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.