When NTs mention autism and don't know you're autistic...

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A woman I know who posts in another Internet forum with me has a boyfriend who she claims has Asperger's and has appointed herself to be the resident expert on ASD and continually makes sweeping statements about what people on the spectrum do and don't do and how they are and are not.

As I'm not 'out' on that forum I don't say anything but, man, it takes all of my self-control not to tell her to shut up and to stop going on and on about something she knows nothing about.

(So glad to get that off my chest)

And what do you think about it?

I feel like I share characteristics with those who are considered lower on the spectrum. I'm a teacher and have met a few young kids who were not verbal and some who were. For some kids, it seemed that they could have AS (For example, one 5th grade boy in particular I would talk to about Egyptian gods at length). Others were probably diagnosed with ASD.

Even though there were a couple of younger students who didn't talk or seemed more "severe" than the others, I still take offense to the way NTs talk about them or how they talk TO them. Sometimes discussing them as if they were not there. Treating them as if they were bad just because they had an impulse to do something that wasn't wanted. Or just talking to them as if they didn't understand their surroundings AT ALL. I, on the other hand, would talk to the students in a normal tone of voice and ask questions that didn't necessarily need a verbal answer. And I have a strong belief that they can understand more than they let on. For some reason, NTs think that talking makes you more human. The autistic kids responded better to my instruction.

That my parents are just ignorant.

That reminds me of an NT member that used to come here and he make generalizations about aspies and act like they are all the same even though he had admitted he knows they are all different. But yet he continued making blanket statements about aspies. Then finally on another forum that was ASD/NT mixed, I told him to shut it. Yeah he quit posting there and here alright. I then felt sorry for him when he thought no one liked him because he found out other members, aspies and NTs, were offended by things he had been saying about AS.

I think I get the general idea, but could you please define "charves/chavs" b/c I have never heard the term before?

For those ignorant fools who claim to be like Tony Atwood when it comes to Asperger/autism, and make generalizations, just tell them the Aspie adage..."when you've met one person with Asperger's, you've met one person with Asperger's."

It happened a couple of times when I was out with my boyfriend (who has Asperger's) that people used "autistic" as a synonym for "stupid/weirdo". I was bothered but he didn't complain, so I avoided interfering.

most of the time when nts talk about autism it's in the context of people getting better or people behaving in a way deemed inappropriate by the NTs who are making value judgements based off of their own quality of life. one girl at my youth group thought it appropriate to tell us all that her autie ex was a ret*d and prone to acting up and that us auties should not be dated because we are just a headache. she was told off by everyone else including the other autie in the room but i went really quiet. i was kinda hurt i must admit. i wanted to yell at her but i would have been breaking the rules. another classmate made a comment telling us about reading about an autie who went to some place and interacted with animals and his condition "improved". it bothered me because autism is always spoken of as something that needs to be fixed. my little sisters have said bad stuff as well. stuff like autists are stupid or not mature enough for their age. i told them off for that. i hate it when people who have no idea what they are talking about speak as if they know how the mind of an autist works and as if they know how it affects our lives when clearly they have no clue.

Last week, on the bus, a group of 7 young males made offensive impressions and inappropriate sexual comments about a severely affected girl they apparently knew.

Their ignorance did not mediate my hurt. I felt hopeless, because there will always be people who are cruel to those who are different from themselves.

Like most here, any mention of autism in my presence evokes silence. My heart skips a beat but no words are pronounced.

I'm not sure how much this counts, but I was in the kitchen eating something and my parents were talking with a great uncle or second cousin or something and he was talking about a boy he knew, not sure what the relation was, and he said "he's not autistic, but his intelligence is (makes hand gesture to show really high) but he lacks restraint" or something like that, and then my parents gesture towards me and say some stuff, I forgot exactly what they said, and I left soon after as I finished snacking when autistic was brought up and the conversation started to bore me when it moved away from the tactless comments the boy made to how ridculous certain clothes looked.

This is true. My brother told his girlfriend that I have Asperger's as the three of us were watching an episode of Ingenious Minds, and she said, "He's not autistic. I know a couple of people with Asperger's. They're annoying like hell and whine until they get what they want. Who can relate to those kind of people? No surprise they're loners". I stayed until the next commercial and left the room.