Am I cold?

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To give an example, a neighbour seemed to want company as he was feeling lonely a few months back. He invited me around for a coffee and whilst I don't know him well, he said he needed company so I accepted.

For 3 hours he rattled on about various gossip, in which I had no interest, then proceeded to talk about all the mundane stuff, then about his past as a jockey (which was of slightly more interest to me as my dad was an amateur national hunt jockey in his youth before a riding accident ended his career). I stayed for the 3 hours because he was lonely and needed someone to talk to, but I did have trouble really being interested in the conversation (in the most part). I do try to be interested, but really, it is very hard when someone keeps talking about stuff that has no real relevance to me or which I live every day myself.

I live mundane, it bores me enough whilst I am living it, talking about it is no fun. I can't say as doing the washing or whatever other mundane stuff that people natter about etc has excited me so much that I want to spend time talking about it.

Now, psychological theory or parapsychology does excite me.

Yet you try getting a good debate about psychology or parapsychology going...all of a sudden no one wants to talk to you then.

Last edited by bumble on 03 Dec 2011, 11:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

I know how that goes. I remember when my ex got angry at me because I didn't ask her "how was your day?" every day when she got home. I told her that every day was pretty much the same and that if anything unusual happened she'd tell me, so why is it important to talk about the same thing every day? Her contention was that asking such a question would be a sign I cared about her, which I still find puzzling. Especially since her typical answer was (as it turned out), "just the usual." So if it's always the usual why talk about it?

As much as I loved my grandmother, she was even worse about small talk and gossip and things I couldn't make myself care about than my ex was. And in general, these conversations just hurt my brain.

I understand that as that is often how I feel.

Yes I can forget to ask people how their day was but that does not mean I have stopped caring about them, I really do just assume that if something important happened they would come and mention it to me anyway.

My way of showing I care is slightly different I guess. I don't know how others show how they care but I will try and listen if the person is upset about something and comes and tells me, but in a more general everyday sense, I will tend to make things for them (I used to cross stitch a lot of things for people as a way of saying I care about you), and I will also give them plenty of hugs (as I like hugging people I am very close to when I initiate the hug, just don't like hugging strangers or people I am not that close to as it feels uncomfortable. As a child though I would walk up to anyone and hug them...but it got me into trouble so I learned not to do that lol).

Just because I have not said "how was your day today" does not mean I don't care about them.

I honestly don't mind hearing about those kinds of things. it's when they simply won't shut up and just keep on talking constantly that I get bothered by it. Sometimes I do want to know about those things. It all depends. I have a natural rampant curiosity. That, and I don't like hearing about/seeing people suffer or deal with pain. I like helping people. But at the same time, a lot of random things people say mean nothing to me.

I will add that I sometimes don't mind the mundane stuff but it does depend on how it is delivered. I used to talk to someone who put it across in such a funny way, he would have you in stitches just talking about the weather! In his case...anything was fun to talk about with him lol. I was fond of him though, he was a very special person, got my heart broken by that one.

I was just reminded of that because just rang me. Long time no speak. God he is funny lol.