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Amik
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10 Dec 2011, 12:11 pm

I don't know if it's an aspie thing, but I'm definitely a perfectionist. I tend to get too stuck on doing things perfectly or as well as I possibly can when much less effort would suffice 99% of the time. I know that I'm often wasting my time putting such effort into things, but I just can't imagine not doing my best. I'd feel bad about not doing things well enough if I knew I could do better.

It annoys me a lot when other people don't even seem to try much when their efforts affect me or others in some way. While I'm aiming on 100% results for what I'm doing (of course not always reaching it, but always trying to get as close as possible), most others seem to be only aiming on 60-70% and don't bother even trying better than that.

I know that I'm too much of a perfectionist, but I don't know how to stop it. :lol:



Tuttle
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10 Dec 2011, 12:21 pm

I am enough of a perfectionist that its problematic. I won't ask people for help not because I don't want help but because I need to ask for help in exactly the right manner and if I can't figure out how to do so I'll keep trying to figure out how to do so rather than just simply ask "can you help me with this?"

Academically I was broken of some part of it by my second high school. It was a high school that made you do enough work that you learned how to do as best you can and go back and improve afterwards if you still have time. I can do the best I can that isn't perfect the first time through and hand it in even if I dislike it because of that, before then I'd get stuck writing the first sentence correctly on a multi-page paper because of wanting it to be perfect. I still can't say "this is good enough" if I have time to improve it though.

I've seen some people say this is common in aspies because we don't know what "good enough" is as often.



OliveOilMom
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10 Dec 2011, 12:26 pm

Verdandi wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
You wrote books? I'm impressed! What kind of books? - please don't say "the kind you read" -

If you aren't comfortable saying, I understand totally.

Frances


Mostly I contributed to book. I wrote one book. RPG stuff.

Would love to write fiction.


Still, you're published! That's an accomplishment!

Congratulations!!

Frances



kx250rider
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10 Dec 2011, 12:34 pm

I'm a perfectionist about some things; maybe those things which most NTs are not perfectionist about. I cannot stand to see a burned out light bulb, and I feel compelled to change it right away, or turn off whatever fixture or sign is infected with the dead bulb. I fold my socks and underwear exactly perfectly, and rotate them so that they are worn exactly the same number of times over their useable life. But I never bother to balance my check book, and I am usually late when going someplace. I wish I could trade off some of the compulsive perfectionism in one place, to another which is lacking....

I'm also a perfectionist with regard to grammar and spelling. But the flip-side to that, is that I am not a perfwctionist on tyPing. 8O


Charles



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10 Dec 2011, 1:31 pm

If fussing over all the little details is perfectionism, then yes.


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Joe90
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10 Dec 2011, 1:43 pm

If fussing over the little details is perfectionism, then no. I'm more of a slapdash person. When we were putting up Christmas decorations the other day, I got annoyed with my mum because she was fussing over where to put a piece of tinsel. I suggested a few places but her response was, ''no, it looks silly there'', so I gave up and said, ''just put it there, otherwise we will be here all day!'' and she yelled, ''you're just like your father - you don't care about things looking good, you want things to just be put!'' And she is right.

Quote:
I'm also a perfectionist with regard to grammar and spelling. But the flip-side to that, is that I am not a perfwctionist on tyPing.

I do like my typing to be without errors, but that's because I like to make it clear for other people to read. Once I was reading a post wrote by someone who didn't use full stops, and I could not make head nor tail of it.


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Ganondox
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10 Dec 2011, 1:54 pm

Joe90 wrote:
If fussing over the little details is perfectionism, then no. I'm more of a slapdash person. When we were putting up Christmas decorations the other day, I got annoyed with my mum because she was fussing over where to put a piece of tinsel. I suggested a few places but her response was, ''no, it looks silly there'', so I gave up and said, ''just put it there, otherwise we will be here all day!'' and she yelled, ''you're just like your father - you don't care about things looking good, you want things to just be put!'' And she is right.

Quote:
I'm also a perfectionist with regard to grammar and spelling. But the flip-side to that, is that I am not a perfwctionist on tyPing.

I do like my typing to be without errors, but that's because I like to make it clear for other people to read. Once I was reading a post wrote by someone who didn't use full stops, and I could not make head nor tail of it.


I was more referring to fussing over little details when there is a correct way for it to be done, like grammar, or making sure you lines are perfectly straight or perfectly curved in art, or getting all the facts correct. I don't give a damn were the tinsel goes on the tree either.


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Verdandi
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10 Dec 2011, 2:32 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:

Still, you're published! That's an accomplishment!

Congratulations!!

Frances


Thanks! Yes, the book itself is one of the high points of my professional life.

I have no doubts that I have accomplished a lot of things, despite my perception of myself as "lazy" and "unmotivated." I had a really hard time reconciling being autistic with those things because I had some terrible ideas in my head, but once I got past that, I was able to deal with the cognitive dissonance of "I've achieved some stuff" and "I am terrible at many many things." :)



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10 Dec 2011, 2:45 pm

Nope or else I be spending all my time at work trying to get spots off the floor that won't come out or be spending all my rime in the restrooms to make sure there are no spots on the walls or stalls and so on and I be getting over time. I think my life be hard if I had to be perfect and I would never enjoy a video game because I missed something in a level or couldn't get all the rings in a game or because I messed up in it.



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10 Dec 2011, 2:57 pm

Some are and some aren't I'd think. For myself I always considered myself one when I was growing up. When I would mention it to my mom as I was working on something she'd say I wasn't and that I was more like OCD in her opinion. I have never been diagnosed as OCD but based on what she said I assume my behavior looked like OCD to her(how she'd know what OCD looks like I don't know - from T.V. maybe?)


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10 Dec 2011, 3:22 pm

There's a very, very blurry line between being a "perfectionist" vs "procrastination". On the ADD side, at least, it can be nearly impossible to officially "finish" any project. You can dress it up and call it "perfectionism", but in many cases it's really more a case of feeling increasing amounts of anxiety as a project's end approaches, because you keep thinking of more things that need to be done, or feel like you want to just rip half of it out and re-do it differently.

The outward appearance can be the same, but I suspect "pure" aspies are more likely to eventually get a project finished properly and "for real", while those of us with ADD just kind of get to a breaking point where we say, "screw it, it's done" and move on without ever officially finishing every last detail. Look around my living room, marvel at the awesome remodeling job I did, and try to not notice the 14-inch section of baseboard I somehow forgot to paint (and will probably never paint until the next time I paint the room, 10-15 years from now).

For those of us on the techie side, blue "smurf tube" conduit and removable baseboards are a wonderful thing, because it means we can leave open the possibility of running future wires and cables behind the walls whenever we want to do it someday without having to actually tear into them again. I was utterly paralyzed for weeks trying to anticipate every cable I'd ever need to run behind the walls -- from cat5e to 16/4 to fiber -- before I discovered WireTracks & Smurf Tube as a way to finally move forward in a way that allowed me to defer the actual use until I really need it for something.


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10 Dec 2011, 3:26 pm

Perfectionism seems to be a common trait in Aspies.

Ganondox wrote:
I was more referring to fussing over little details when there is a correct way for it to be done, like grammar, or making sure you lines are perfectly straight or perfectly curved in art, or getting all the facts correct. I don't give a damn were the tinsel goes on the tree either.


:lol: Yes.



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10 Dec 2011, 11:08 pm

I am often in the turmoil of perfectionism. With many things I feel they have to be perfect. Once after a contractor had installed two windows in my house, I discovered one wasn't centered right---only off by a little. But I detected it. I moved the window and reinstalled it so that it was centered. I often have trouble beginning a project (like a model) because I worry about doing it perfectly.


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Magnus_Rex
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11 Dec 2011, 12:19 am

Yes. If something is not up to the standards I set, I will probably give up. But I am only perfectionist when it comes to things which interest me. For example, I do not like studying, therefore, I do not even try to get the highest grades. I get them anyway, but that is only because I really like the subject (accounting). On the other hand, I like video games, which mean I will usually spend much time trying to complete a game 100%.



CockneyRebel
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11 Dec 2011, 1:46 am

I'm not. I don't get hung up on perfection.


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11 Dec 2011, 2:08 am

Nope, I don't get hung up on perfection, but I do focus on quality where it matters.