A question for all the NT posters.

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If you are not in DSM-IV, you are probably NT.

Or else you have some rare or new disorder which has not been classified yet (e.g. sensory processing disorder).

I would say "non-autistic" if I wanted NTs to understand, because "NT" is a term used by Aspies and not by NTs themselves unless they work with autistic people.

But where do you put people with BAP? They are the "missing link" on the continuum from "typical NT" to "severely autistic". They are a little of both.

Sometimes people take the term to mean an insult, which it can be but it's also a way to basically refer to someone as non-autistic but is a shorter way of saying it.

When I call people 'normal' they say 'what is normal anyway?' *facepalm*

When I say NT they ask 'what did you just call me?' sigh...

So I end up saying non-autistic.

i myself (being aspie) try to not use the that term, but if i do, noone is really offended, to my knowledge...

Well, I doubt I am completely neurotypical so if someone I consider close called me like that I would probably get upset because it would mean that they don't know me. I do get upset when my mother and friend (who don't know much about ASDs) insist that I am normal despite me sharing with them how diffucult I find interacting with other people.
Maybe your friend suspects he's on the spectrum too? I don't see other reasons why one should not like being called not-socially impaired.

On a related note, search "NT" here, and have a look at the number of posts that use "NT" or "neurotypical" pejoratively.

Personally, I hate the word. You can say that it just means someone without an ASD, but at least as often, it's used as a ridiculous stereotype. Going by the popular definitions, every "NT" is extroverted, shallow, manipulative, emotional, irrational, and lacking serious interest in anything. Anyone who doesn't fit that description is then assumed to have an undiagnosed ASD.

I'm not trying to be argumentative here, but it seems to be tied into the weird superiority complex that some on the spectrum seem to have. I don't like small talk, I generally don't like dealing with people, and I'm not overly concerned with social etiquette, but I don't go around thinking that I'm above "society".

Anyway, referring to someone as being non-autistic is as simple as saying that.

Nobody is completely normal. Although it's necessary, I hate hate hate using 'autistic' and 'NT' to straight out describe people. It seems to create a 'them and us' mentality, like it's the ultimate of your identity and makes you who you are. Sometimes calling someone 'normal' undermines their individuality, or pushes them away from you by saying 'you are in a completely and utterly different category to me, you will never understand me' (I also think the same about /just/ describing yourself as 'autistic' though.)

Just guessing. But we're all people.

I'm NT and of course before I started hanging around WP I hadn't the first clue about what "NT" was. When I worked it out I didn't mind being put in that "category" in the sense that I do not have autism or AS. I may belong somewhere on the BAP and I have social anxiety but on the whole I'm quite clear about being NT.

What I do object to is thoughtless blanket generalisations (of the sort one is very carefully warned not to use when speaking about people with ASDs in the forum rules) such as NTs are this or NTs are that. Guess what, NTs too are individuals and would like to be spoken to and about as such, and it would be nice if people could extend the same courtesy to NTs that they expect for themselves.

(Roundabout now I expect someone to turn up on this thread and explain to me that it's all about oxytocin and I'm a member of a homogenous NT cattle herd running after social status.)

That kind of thing really is a bit wearing and in that context I object not to being called an NT (which I regard as a merely factual statement) but I object to the blanket assumptions being levelled at me in that context.

One could perhaps argue that people with ASDs have blanket assumptions levelled at them all the time. But two wrongs don't make a right.

readingbetweenlines: your perspective on the world is totally valid. It's consistent and genuine and it provides a functional reality to yourself as an NT. But I compare it to ants in an ant colony. Individual ants see themselves as unique individuals with goals and passions, but we see them as playing roles necessary to the colony. Different perspectives, both totally true. Autistics have a remote perspective of NT behaviour, we don't see through your eyes so we can see larger patterns such as the hierarchy. Likewise an alien could see autistics as very predictable.

I'm saying that aliens with more abstract thinking would see autistics as ants running predictable ant patterns in the same way we see NTs as that. Please read the actual words I use, not ones you imagine in your head. If an accurate analogy is insulting that's an issue for the insulted person and their therapist.