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What causes you more problems?

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Which of these is a bigger problem for you?
People underestimating your level of disability 41%  41%  [ 30 ]
People underestimating your level of ability 14%  14%  [ 10 ]
Both of them to more or less the same degree 45%  45%  [ 33 ]
Total votes : 73

WhiteWidow
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22 Dec 2011, 12:16 am

Verdandi wrote:
My level of disability. People assume I am capable of a wide variety of things that I find fairly difficult.


This



TheygoMew
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22 Dec 2011, 12:22 am

I look "normal" Don't ring the alarms right away so therefore people perceive me as normal. When I try to inform them of things I have difficulty with when the time comes that I know an experience is going to overwhelm me but I end up doing it regardless, they laugh it off until they see it and then they tell me off or scold me. Tried to warn you.

Have also had the other end. That isn't very pleasant either. Proved them wrong but in their mind they are always right no matter what so just kept walking without them.



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22 Dec 2011, 12:28 am

WhiteWidow wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
My level of disability. People assume I am capable of a wide variety of things that I find fairly difficult.


This
In my case, people assume that I can get tasks done fairly quickly. Then they find out I'm only halfway through a project and say, "can't you work a bit faster?". I feel like telling them that they can allow me to do quality over quantity, or get someone else to help. But I don't say anything, and 95 percent of my work is half-assed because people want things done stat.



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22 Dec 2011, 11:00 am

seekingtruth wrote:
In my son's case, he's 6, it's a big problem with people expecting more of him then he can handle. He looks so perfect and it causes people to assume he's just like all the other kids his age, but he's not. I find myself explaining all the time because they think he is just misbehaving.

he's in 1st grade and has already been punched in the stomache by two different kids because he was too much in their personal space which he just doesn't understand.

He was denied help by his school because they focused on speech for his eval, which is BS as people who understand Asperger's know that kids will often have very good, almost adult speech as a young Aspie. He's finally getting a second eval since he's now fallen way behind his classmates, but it pisses me off because he had a great head start before entering his public school. I'd had him in a special pre-school in which he did exceedingly well and contacted our district the spring before he started kindergarten to get things set up for him and they spent 5 min. with him and said he was fine and needed no special help.

I get pretty angry that the school pretty much ignored his special needs just because we'd done so much pro-active work with him and gave him a great head start. Now he's slipped backwards quite a bit and now he's finally getting a second eval.

Very disspappointing.


Just for the record I skipped two grades in Elementary school. I was very tall as well so people always assumed I 3-5 yrs. older than I actually was. I've also always reasoned about 5 yrs. ahead of my age. I would go to the state or something about this. I don't have any kids so I wish I could be more help but it's definitely not right. I was homeschooled most of my life and can say it was lonely and troublesome. It doesn't have to be though, getting your kids in local reading groups or anything of the matter should be enough for a child with Autism. I also look "normal" and my own mother was the one to ridicule me for my indifference.



Amik
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25 Dec 2011, 6:53 pm

People constantly underestimate the level of my disability. They underestimate how much I'm affected by social skills issues, sensory issues and motor skills issues and tend to have unreasonably high expectations of me in regards to those things. They lack understanding, consideration and support for my disability and they don't understand why I don't meet their expectations or comply perfectly with social standards. They assume I'm just not trying hard enough, which is very frustrating. My hard efforts go unnoticed and discounted. When I'm exhausted from all the effort I get blamed for being lazy or making excuses. When I'm overwhelmed I get called childish or immature and am treated like a child or told to grow up.

The opposite happens sometimes too, with people underestimating my abilities and having too low expectations of me, but that happens less often and I can usually prove them wrong and exceed their expectations, so this doesn't have the same negative effect as having the level of my disability underestimated.



bumble
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25 Dec 2011, 7:06 pm

People overestimate my ability to read social cues and body language and to socialise but underestimate my academic ability (severely). Except my Universities and Colleges...they recognised I was bright and labelled me as 'Extremely Intelligent'. Support workers, health services and people in general, however, talk to me like I am dim or an idiot just because I am socially awkward and shy.

My therapists think that studying would be too stressful for me where as I will be able to cope with socialising if I learn to relax.

They have things the wrong way round! Studying is not confusing and is fun whereas socialising just leaves me confused as to what the hell is going on most of the time!



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25 Dec 2011, 7:39 pm

I speak very well and sound extremely smart so people think there is nothing wrong with me or I am exaggeratting my problems. :roll:


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dianthus
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25 Dec 2011, 7:42 pm

I think maybe the biggest problem for me is people do not recognize how socially naive I am.



Asp-Z
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25 Dec 2011, 7:44 pm

They effect me for different reasons, but to about the same degree.

Generally, it's easier to have a bit of fun with people who underestimate my ability in certain circumstances though, so that's one upside :P



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25 Dec 2011, 7:53 pm

SteveBorg wrote:
SylviaLynn wrote:
Have you checked the Parent's forum? :)

Schools don't get it for the same reason employers, doctors, so on and so on don't get it. They can't understand any other reality than their own.


Do you have tips for how I, as a parent, and as a therapist, can better assess my son's and my clients' strengths and weaknesses, respect both strengths and weaknesses, and to know when to push and when to back off in terms of encouraging growth? Would love to hear yours and others feedback so that I can improve in the parenting and also in the counseling that I do.

Speaking for my daughter: I need an accurate assessment of her strengths and weaknesses. It does no good to push her to read if she has dyslexia. I wish therapists and teachers would listen to me as a parent, and as someone who actually does do the research. My IQ did not go down 50 pts just because I'm a parent. I have more knowledge of my child than someone who has observed her for half an hour or less. Be willing to think outside the box. Be willing to accept that there is a purpose for behavior. My kid is not usually misbehaving so much as trying to get a need met as best she can. Don't spend so much time remediating the weaknesses that you ignore the strengths.


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Guineapigged
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26 Dec 2011, 6:55 am

Level of disability.



SteveBorg
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27 Dec 2011, 2:33 pm

SylviaLynn wrote:
SteveBorg wrote:
SylviaLynn wrote:
Have you checked the Parent's forum? :)

Schools don't get it for the same reason employers, doctors, so on and so on don't get it. They can't understand any other reality than their own.


Do you have tips for how I, as a parent, and as a therapist, can better assess my son's and my clients' strengths and weaknesses, respect both strengths and weaknesses, and to know when to push and when to back off in terms of encouraging growth? Would love to hear yours and others feedback so that I can improve in the parenting and also in the counseling that I do.

Speaking for my daughter: I need an accurate assessment of her strengths and weaknesses. It does no good to push her to read if she has dyslexia. I wish therapists and teachers would listen to me as a parent, and as someone who actually does do the research. My IQ did not go down 50 pts just because I'm a parent. I have more knowledge of my child than someone who has observed her for half an hour or less. Be willing to think outside the box. Be willing to accept that there is a purpose for behavior. My kid is not usually misbehaving so much as trying to get a need met as best she can. Don't spend so much time remediating the weaknesses that you ignore the strengths.


Syliva, you make excellent points. We, as parents, need to have the best testing possible done for our children to screen for any learning disabilities as well as areas of strength, because we can then know exactly how much to push them, and how much to accept where they are.


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