Confusion

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I'm really glad that nurse said that to you - isn't it amazing what things stick in our heads for the good? It was meant to be said, you were meant to hear it.

I'm also really glad you got away from the bad situation and now are in a much better one. That's very positive.

I often do the chicken and egg thing myself - was abused as a child and often wonder did I have AS before and in spite of that abuse or are my problems because of the abuse, enhanced by the abuse, or totally unrelated? You just can't sort that kind of stuff out, I don't think.

I yam what I yam, yes?

Oh man, do I know what you are talking about!

I did a lot of dissassociation because of the abuse, so many blocks of my life just wiped out.

i read about Aspies and their amazing memories and I wonder since I have such a horrible memory, especially for detail, I just get so amazingly overwhelmed with detail that I shut down. Just cooking meals will cause shutdown and meltdown, throwing the food out the window and going to a resturant to have someone else deal with preparing food for us.

So I wonder, can I be Aspie if I can't remember stuff? Then I wonder if the abuse, dissassociation, and PTSD are the cause for the memory problems. Some things I have amazing memory for, like that nurse saying that to me. Losing detail is kind of a survival mode for living in abuse, so much you have to block out just to keep going.

Add Aspie traits to being abused and just imagine how confusing life is? So block it out to survive I guess.....

I, too know exactly what you guys are talking about! My childhood memories are just mostly traumatic events without any clear connection to one another which is strange since my memory is absolutely eidetic since I became an adult and got out of the abusive home.

The PTSD triggers coupled with Aspie traits makes navigating the world an especially confusing task.

I still can't quite decide whether the abuse exacerbated the natual Aspie in me or whether my Aspie nature helped me cope with the abuse as I never accepted that I was at fault for any of what happened to me by my parents' hand. I of course considered whether I had done something to "deserve" the abuse but quickly and consistently came to the conclusion that I had done nothing wrong.

My siblings (all NT) have not fared as well as adults. None of them has ever managed to finish high school or hold a stable job. I believe this is because on some level, they think they are worthless and deserved to be tortured by their own parents. If my theory about my sibs is correct, then being an Aspie literally saved my quality of life as I have a great education, job and now even own my own home. I am infinitely grateful for my brain...just the way it is.

I pretty consistently have attentional problems, but when I'm anxious and/or depressed I think they get worse.

"''It is a terrible thing to live in fear," a line from Blade Runner, from a running replicant-- Roy.

Confusion and a subsequent all encompassing fear. When on a wane cycle, you know or are aware of what is happening, but you cannot function in real time. The misses in social cognition are replayed later and only understood later. By virtue of this fact, I'd guess this is not ASD related.

The strange thing is I can't find a sole ADHD account of it. But it may have to do with SCT or sluggish cognitive tempo. The 'absolute hell' of ADD.

ASD and ADHD crossovers are puzzling.

Thanks all for posting.