Toughen up.

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I definitely don't want to become a sociopath, or reject society entirely. My main concern is how to maintain a form of equilibrium where I can accept my basic oversensitivity, but not let it adversely affect the relationships with the people i care about, or make me depressed or withdraw completely. I don't think I'm likely to become too hard, it's just I don't want to lose what I have.

And yes surfman, you're right about the astrology. It's all there in my chart. It's just my nature to be this way I think.

I can't toughen up, no matter how hard I try. I got so sick of trying to toughen up in 2009 that I chose a sensitive celebrity to be my role model.

This happened to me. I think I might be starting to come back around.

I used to hear that constantly in childhood. I'm still sensitive but I don't show my emotions as much now. I still think to myself, 'what is WRONG with me? Why can't I deal with this like a normal person?' I don't hear it so much from other people, but more from my own internal dialogue.

I think I have toughened up in some ways - or I always had a weird toughness to begin with. I've always had a pragmatic attitude so I can deal with reality when it turns grim and I can deal with opting for the lesser of two evils. I can tell people things that are painful for them to hear, if needs be.

My issue with sensitivity stems from the fact that I have an internal code of honour (however silly that is) and I get very upset when it's violated - even if I'm not involved.

Last edited by puddingmouse on 03 Jan 2012, 10:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.

My problem is my sensitivity to injustice creates a lot of anger. The thing is I don't necessarily get angry based on wrongs done to me. It's usually stuff that happens to others that sets me off, especially if I perceive that they aren't getting angry or fighting back. When I get angry for someone else who has been wronged it can be a horrible consuming feeling. The feeling of impotent anger can be like a knife in my side. It's not good when it releases at the wrong target. If I can't get something upsetting off my mind I can snap out of proportion towards something minor.

If "toughen up" means accepting unfair BS and injustice, then I don't think I'm capable. I can keep my emotions to myself for a time but that's about it.

^^^^^

That is me, also.

aspie sensibilities can be a handicap in the snake pit

but I wouldnt want to lose my soul to insensitivity

or excessive sensitivity

I wonder how many people have that internal dialogue going on, but on the outside appear quite calm and unruffled by life. That's one thing I find difficult, not just being over-sensitive, but seeming to be abnormally so in comparison to the people around me. It feels like a weakness or disorder in some way, when other people don't show their emotions, or get visibly upset or flustered by situations I find difficult. I find myself apologising for being myself.

An internal code of honour doesn't sound at all silly to me, this world would be a better place if people were more honourable.

Yes I get that too. I do get angry still, although I think at the moment I'm suppressing that side of things by trying to avoid the news and things that make me upset in that way. But in the past I encountered a lot of situations that made me depressed and angry due to the injustice of them, particularly in relation to animals, vulnerable people, or people at work.

How do you define excessive sensitivity?

when it causes you to suffer

like when you spend time and energy on another and offer help, and they ignore or dismiss you out of intellectual ignorance and societal programming

then spout moralistic rhetoric like acting honourable

Last edited by Surfman on 04 Jan 2012, 10:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

It seems to be a personality trait, not always connected to AS. I've encountered a lot of emotionally insensitive aspies on this site and it irks me at times. I can rationalize that it's mostly a coping mechanism to them, but it's off-putting when people externalize and try to force their own personal attitude onto others. If they ever come crying to you it's really hard not to want to say "toughen up, emo kid" and brush them off.

Lots of things upset me, but seeing someone being told to "toughen up", particularly if it's a sensetive boy, gets to me a great deal. I think it's a refusal to accept someone as they are, or to come to terms with another person's suffering, it makes the hypersensetive person feel weak, small, pathetic and a burden.

I particularly dislike it when said to a male because then you're also making it a demand to conform to gender roles.

Personally - me - I'm hypersensetive in some areas, hyposensetive in others.

Nietzsche was a putz.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MG4QhoH1kg[/youtube]

Still plenty of truth behind that saying. I don't approve of all of his views, but that quote in particular makes complete sense to me. I don't believe in optimism solving all of lifes problems. I know way to many people who have that viewpoint and I warn them they are in denial with their heads in the sand. I then get proven right and people just love to blame the person who points out the problems XD. Yeah I am a nihilist to a specific degree but I form my own views on it which actually depending on your own view can turn it into a positive. Fnord, we both have been around on here for a long while, You should be able to at least remember my view on it. Said view being Life has no "Inherent" meaning. You yourself have the responsibility/duty of giving it meaning. In fact in my opinion you can easily tie it into your own beliefs on religion. Its just I remember us having a neat little discussion on it maybe a year or two ago. Also can't forget my Deconstructionist and Post-modern thought tendencies so whatever.