Bravery and Asperger's

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Since I was 18, I have been a blood donor for the American Red Cross is this counts as bravery.

Just a few days ago, I {along with two other people} was complimented by fellow passengers who were with me in a streetcar for helping a disabled homeless man who dropped money onto the floor of the streetcar.

I left the streetcar at the next stop.

Uh. I’d say it’s easy to be an abject coward, because you can take an awful lot of years to even realize there’s anything wrong with it, at least if you’re brought up the way I was.

That's definitely not me. I have never lacked a sense of danger.

Fear and/or danger usually make me freeze.
Or I freak out and get all shaky.

Dude! STORY OF MY LIFE.
I had a boyfriend in the early aughts who lived in a really sketchy neighborhood. I would go down in the middle of the night to buy donuts from this 24 hour donut shop, and be surrounded by hard core criminals and crack addicts. I was 20, small and sexy, and wearing his boxers and a t-shirt. I had no idea I was in danger. Later I heard him and someone else talk about me, and he said, "I think she intimidates people because she seems so unphased."

STORY OF MY LIFE. But the problem is when someone actually does want to take advantage of me. I'm like a sitting duck. I just don't see it. I'm like, "Oh, are we friends? Ok!"

That said, when I learn I learn. Sadly, the lesson is situationally specific. I just know better about that particular person.

But yeah I totally stand up for people and intervene and say the hard truth because to me it's a very simple black and white situation. Something is wrong, something needs to be said, no one is saying it --> I'll say it. Easy.

Not always smart, but easy. I wouldn't call myself brave, although a lot of people do. I just don't think that's what it is. I think bravery has to do with acting despite fear and trepidation. I do that sometimes, but more often when people think I'm brave I'm truly just oblivious or shortsighted.

I am both brave and cowardly.

I have a lot of anxieties and they often get better of me so I am a coward with the small things such as making phone calls(due to being afraid I won't be able to understand what they say) or crossing the street on red when no cars are around (due to fear of being caught by police and getting a bill).

But at the same time I have high tolerance towards fear because I spend every single day of my life facing my anxieties. Practice makes perfect so when it really matters I am able to just "close my emotions in a box" and do what I am supposed to do.

I am also not easily scared by sudden events because I constantly scan my environment and I just see it coming.

For example when a car hit brakes loudly behind our back my mom suddenly caught my arm, clenched it tightly and started screaming. Apparently she didn't even realize she is doing that, it was instinctive. She didn't remember she did it when I asked her why she did that 2 mins later.
I on the other hand focused on the brakes sound, concluded it's source isn't getting any nearer to us so we don't have to jump away, heard another braking car sound, and didn't hear a crash so I knew what happened before even turning my back: another car forced priority and a fast car behind us had to do an emergency break. But nothing bad happened because he was fortunately a good driver and reacted fast enough.
I didn't even feel any fear back then. I got into "observe and analyze" mode instantly and after that there was no reason to be afraid anymore.

It seems really hard for us to grasp the fact that whenever noöne acknowledges the elephant in the room, it's because they know there'll be bad consequences for the one who fails to keep their mouth shut, not because they're too dumb to see the elephant.

When I was young, I was fairly brave, but no daredevil. I was also sometimes oblivious to dangerous situations. I would think nothing of blocking two lanes of traffic with my bicycle when I heard a siren approaching. Although I am generally introverted, I think I have made more remarks to strangers than I've received by a considerable margin. However, the older I get, the less I expect to get a rational response, and that frightens me.

This is one of the reasons some Aspies do very well in the military.

I've had ice water running through my veins forever. I feel like it was from getting used to being punished. I never thought about being born this way.

YOU SAID IT. Oh my god. I'm laughing. Too true.

Yeah, if "The Emperor's New Clothes" wasn't a fairy tale, the kid would have been whisked away by security and never heard from again.

Agreed. My type of bravery, such as it is, is primarily in speaking truth to power. I suspect that is an aspie thing, since in general, aspies value truth highly. As early as elementary school I was standing up for children who were bullied more than I and the result was pretty lonely, but I felt in my heart that it was the right thing to do. Still do.

I have run into dangerous situations because no one else would...I stop for traffic accidents I have witnessed, I have dragged stunned people off of hornet nests. I have walked alone is "bad" neighborhoods, not really realizing how bad it was. I routinely walked home from a 3-11 shift at the hospital in a city. I also turned around a Garuda plane to an emergency landing on Guam on a cross Pacific flight due to an ill baby. In one of those giant planes, with five seats down the middle and three on each side, the movie was interrupted by the captain requesting assistance from medical personnel. I figured in a plane that big, there would be plenty of doctors, but I went up front to see if I could help. There were no doctors. There was an Indonesian EMT, a student nurse, and me. (I am an RN.) A newborn infant was having diarrhea and that can kill a baby quickly. After monitoring the situation, the captain kept asking me if we needed to make an emergency stop in Guam, because after Guam it was another 7 hours to Hawaii and would the baby live that long. I told him what I thought, which was it was likely that the child could die. Stopping in Guam would cause the airline huge expenses in terms of fuel and also disrupt the lives of hundreds of people on the plane. The captain landed in Guam and we heard later the baby would have died in just a few hours more. So, I got it right, but it was a terrifying experience.

But mostly, I go on solo trips in remote wilderness which everyone thinks is very brave, but really, it is safer than driving a car on an interstate highway.

And I am terrified of fast cars, ferris wheels and heights.

I'd rather have wisdom than be brave. Bravery without wisdom is not brave, but brazen. If I had had more common sense when I was young, I would not have had to be as brave.

Yes, but depends on the circumstance...

Generally speaking, I think I am very calm and logical when it is a situation that I am directly involved in. When I’ve been in car accidents, people have raved about how calm I was and how well I handled it. I’m also often super calm when other people are having fights or emotional fits. Definitely that logical, emotionally-uninvolved thing.

However, I have sometimes witnessed events like someone slipping and falling at the market, and I just observe without reacting. Someone else who is farther away but quicker then rushes in to help. Logically, I know to help, and since I’m calm, I probably know the most logical way to help in a time given situation... but somehow, I just can’t process it quick enough to step in. I really wish I could - I would love to be the hero

Still, I also somehow have lightning quick reflexes. I catch things in midair when they are knocked off counters and have often “saved” people from getting hurt, or helped others to avoid serious disaster by reacting quickly to something falling or breaking. I’m not sure why or how im capable of this.

Reflexes - a few times I've amazed myself to save the day, although I'm not good at sports or fast music.
The Aspie sense of justice does motivate me strongly. I've never gotten beat up for it, but I've done a lot of work on political demonstrations, etc. One time, when heavy rain affected things, I had to tell the Police that about 5,000 people were about to do as they pleased, and if they had to start arresting people, my own group, at least, would cooperate.

I get very anxious about dealing with bureaucracies, official situations, applications, etc. Sometimes to the point of not doing things at all.

But, if it seems necessary, I'll get into physically dangerous situations that scare most other people. I'll also speak truth to power in a way that amazes others. But to me it's not about being brave-- I'm just doing what I have to do for my own peace of mind.