should we aspies imitate neurotypicals?

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I live my life by being me. I don't plan on imitating NTs.

I find it hard to believe that anybody could "imitate" or "fake" NT traits, because there aren't any that are completely exclusive. Any sort of generalization attributed to either them or those on the spectrum is childish. Everyone is different and the idea of being "normal" is just that; an idea.

A lot of neurotypical behaviour comes naturally to me most of the time anyway, so I don't need to imitate much. Just because I've got mild AS doesn't mean to say I'm the exact reverse of every neurotypical and don't know how to behave normal.

There's only a few things I need to do to imitate neurotypical behaviour, like not having insane outbursts when reacting to a disturbing situation, not talk CONSTANTLY about the people I am obsessed with, and there's a few other things I could change but otherwise my general behaviour ain't that different to anyone else. I think it's more the way I think what could be different, rather than the way I behave, if that makes sense. Like I think too much, worry too much, think that everyone else's thinking what I'm thinking, and also the way I process sounds - like I listen out for sounds then complain when I hear them, rather than trying to focus on something else and block out the sounds. Stuff like that.

I don't wish to imitate NTs, because I don't want to lose my identity.

It's not up to me what other Aspies (or all autistics, for that matter) do. I don't need to imitate others because I'm content with being myself most of the time.

I can think of few things that makes one seem more 'NT.' Joe said a few.

The big thing for me that makes me look different is when I bring up my interests or just blurt out in a conversation because I don't know when it's appropriate to talk. I never get a word in if I wait for that pause.

Forcing myself to socialise. I'm perfectly fine on my own and prefer to spend time on my interests. I have my own reasons for not liking to be social and people don't seem to understand it.

Trying to ignore sensory and emotional stressors, not have personality clashes with people and suppress meltdowns.

And then there's the stimming. I've been doing a lot of body rocking lately and lining up objects.

Then there are the periods of not knowing what to say and barely saying anything at all.

Even when people kiss in greeting. I'll attempt to put my arm around you, you can kiss me but I will not.

Yup. Much of soceity is pathetic at times. Just turn on the news. If it bleeds, it leads.

Never have, and never will. If others can't accept me the way I am, it's their problem, not mine.

you should learn how to do it. make basic facial expressions small talk ect. but you should choose for youself from moment to moment.

for professional stuff i do it a lot. with my friends i more...translate. i fake facial expressions and intonation to bring out the real me as opposed to being someone else

See, what do you do when the act or idea of imitating people severely disturbs you? It makes me very depressed just thinking about having to play the game. I am 25, and I don't think it is something I will just suddenly be able to do more than once or twice a week.

I have learned to imitate some behaviors. Smiling on first encounters, responding ''likewise'' to any kind of farewell or benediction.

''Take care of yourself now!''
''Yeah...likewise.''

Quite a handy word when you're not sure what to respond. Anyway, there are things like that I'm willing to compromise on, if only because I don't want to starve. It pains me to have to act, it hurts me right where ''integrity'' lies in my brain. But I gotta do it. And I will. Because I have a pending vendetta to settle with society at large. A non-violent resolution is what I'm after, but there is lots of work to be done.

Some day, when I've acted enough to make a decent living...then I will begin my mini-crusade. I'm going to teach everyone that's willing to listen about the complete madness of a society based on appearance. Of logical fallacies that appeal to emotion. I'm gonna teach everyone who's willing to listen about the greatness of skepticism, respect of differences and integrity (based on values that adapt to new conditions as opposed to static morality). There are traditions, taboos that need to be put out of their misery. There is a tendency for people to go with what worked, instead of what would work better, all because of nostalgia and the comfort the ''old ways'' can bring...

There are lots of things I want to destroy, not through violence but by preaching with my actions and with solid arguments. There are people I think I can help become better than what others would like them to become. I think I can do good.

But to do that, I'll have to play a role for some time, which is a sacrifice I'm willing to make for a shot at being a functional iconoclast.

Just my 2 cents, but by now I've realized we don't all share my brain (Only took 20 years!), so feel free to disagree

I currently have a strange thing going on with this type of thing. For years I felt pretty comfortable living in a world of my own and preferring to do things on my own and leave the rest of society for what it is. But in the past two years, I have grown interested in my cultural background (namely my Indonesian background) which has also led to my attending Indonesian events, festivals, etc. Pretty social stuff. I would also say in some respects that this culture is very "NT"; it's a "we"-culture, it's a culture of eating a lot and eating together, and there's quite a lot of subtle communication, both verbal and non-verbal (gestures, smiles, terms of address). Now I wouldn't say these experiences have turned me into a very gregarious person, but I do find I'm learning more and more about social customs and I'm feeling increasingly comfortable about them. What also helps for me is that Indonesians in general -like most East Asians, honestly- don't really mind when you're quiet and reserved. So I'm now slowly learning how to handle myself better in these social contexts, and part of the reason it's so pleasant for me is that the atmosphere on those parties and events and get-togethers remind me of my family: my grandma, aunts, cousins.

That explains why I'm such a basket case! I've spent my whole life trying to appear NT. I also think that social things people do are really really counterintuitive and dumb. Some things I've rejected outright. But, I have to act like an NT. I've been forced into the role, and I really do feel like I am on the "wrong planet" half the time.

I want to succeed, but not by employing many of the dubious deeds of the NT community.

Humans have been imitating each other throughout history. I mean, how many little douchebags went out and got the "Bieber" haircut or wear their pants so baggy you can see their "draaaaws?" (<<<Funny way of saying drawers, meaning underpants, here I'm imitating some lady I saw on tv, lol.)
Millions of women wore their hair just like Jennifer Aniston in the 90's, too. And from the time babies are born, most (esp. NT's) learn by imitation.
It does get tiring to have to "act" for long periods of time, and that I find unpleasant. Sometimes it benefits me- such as in a job interview, meeting I don't want to go to, etc. but it cannot be too long. Too long and I feel so drained I must go to my rooms and be alone for hours at the very least to recharge myself. But.... I have found through observation various and sundry useful things that I've incorporated into my own life and personality. I don't want to use AS as an excuse to not be better, do better, grow as a person. (I'm not trying to say that others are using it as an excuse, either!! Please don't get the wrong idea, I know that there are varying degrees of functionality and ability in AS and I don't expect anything from anyone else, just myself.)

So... I'm going to do like the monkeys do.

"If you give a monkey a lit cigarette, he's gonna smoke it."

Define better. I find this 100% subjective. Is better whoring yourself out to get what you need? Or is better being true to yourself?

You find it subjective because it is. Neither of the options you list are ''better''. I would personally say that integrity (not whoring yourself) is most important in life, but then again I would not be able to justify this with an easy argument. In the end, there are 0 correct answers in this thread and you gotta go with what you want yourself. (I know this is hard, I have difficulty knowing what I want myself.)

My vote's for limited compromising, imitating only when needed to get by. My answer is never going to be proven better, though. It's not the kind of thing you can represent with a pie chart, eh