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Dealing with Asperger's in a marriage

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KickingBird
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22 Jan 2012, 3:06 am

For those who, I did not reply to, I want to thank for taking the time to respond to this thread. :)



dianthus
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22 Jan 2012, 12:54 pm

KickingBird wrote:
Uh, I probably have Asperger's too. I also probably have severe sensativity issues so, what is seeming mundane to you, is not so mundane to me. I cannot handle being messed with when I 1st wake us (especially by a talkative person).


I may have Asperger's too, so what? Who do you think you are talking to on this forum? Your husband has Asperger's too, how understanding are you of his issues?

I have a lot of sensory issues. And from my experience I can tell you this. Dwelling on those things does not do any good. Blaming the other person and seeing them as childish doesn't do any good either. Other people are not going to change ALL their behavior to accomodate you. If you otherwise have a good marriage, and there are just a couple of things you can't handle, I think you are really fortunate.



DerStadtschutz
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22 Jan 2012, 1:48 pm

KickingBird wrote:
DerStadtschutz wrote:
glasstoria wrote:
Your requests sound completely reasonable.

In alot of cases, some men are just like big children, whether Aspie or not. God bless them, but when do they grow up? I don't mean stop enjoying childish things, I mean being capable of putting the toilet paper roll onto the holder when it runs dry or putting their dirty socks in the hamper.



I take offense to that, especially when you consider the fact that this man is an individual, and you expect him to suddenly change everything for whatever woman comes along. I say it's childish to expect to get everything your way all the time, and it's stupid and insensitive to put you and the man thru your little pet training or whatever the hell you want to call it. If you want to rule over an inferior being that will cower and wimper and do pretty much whatever you want, then get a DOG, train it, and have your fun. Stop doing this to men, and if we're so immature and whatnot, then just leave and stop searching for men and leaving ruined ones in your wake.


Yes, Alan is an individual and so am I. I do not wish to control him or change him. We have been married for little over a year. We are still learning each other's boundries, likes and dislikes.

Oh and I am 48 years old and from my experience most men in relationships can be quite childish sometimes. If you are not, then good for you.


personally, i see plenty of childish behavior from both sides, especially when the woman throws a fit after the guy asks her to marry him simply because "the diamond isn't big enough." That's pretty f****n childish. And in a lot of cases, from what I've observed, guys are only "childish" because they don't do every little thing women want them to do. that is not a sign of childishness. That is a sign of an individual being himself.

As for the dogs and the trust issue, again, I don't know your husband, but more likely than not, when you need to trust him for something big, you can. And he doesn't feed the dogs thinking "hahaha, she trusts me not to do this, and I'm violating her trust. My plans are coming along perfectly!! !! BUWAHAHAHA!" he sees the dogs, he loves the dogs, he views them as family members, and he wants to share food and affection with them. Trust doesn't really have anything to do with it. He sees treating the dogs the way he does as the right thing to do because to him they are family members and thus deserve such treatment. It's just him showing his soft and loving side.