autistic: banned from supermarket

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I am sorry, nintendofan, that you had such a bad experience at the supermarket. I think that a note explaining about autism and meltdowns and what other people should do to help you and not make it worse for you would be a good idea.

I can relate to losing control during a meltdown. When I was a teenager, I tried to strangle someone during a meltdown. This was in high school, and I was a senior, and it was just a few days before graduation. I had my hands tightly around this person's neck, and I squeezed as hard as I could. The whole time that I was doing it, I did not realize what I was doing at all. The person and his group of thugs had been harassing me for awhile before I snapped and tried to strangle him, but I did not see the meltdown coming, and I was not at all in control of my arms and hands during the meltdown. I did not realize that I was being violent until several minutes after I was stopped by the school authorities. Afterwards, I felt really bad about it, and I wished that I had not done it. I did not get into much trouble, because it was known to everyone that the group had been harassing me with verbal abuse and slurs and throwing things at me too.

I had a meltdown in high school where I threw an open pair of scissors at a girl. Had they hit her, I would have been in a metric ton of trouble. And I would have deserved it, despite my issues.

However.

Yes, throwing soda cans at people is wrong, but it sounds like the OP was definitely provoked, and I can't say I wouldn't have done the same in their situation, if I had their level of autism.

Hopefully this is an experience you can learn from, Nintendofan, even though it sucks that you can't go there without your mother. By "learn from", I don't mean "You did a bad thing, you should be in jail", I mean possibly coming up with an alternative to "I'm autistic, ok?!" I really think that the idea of carrying a card is a good one. Maybe with a simple phrase like "My name is _______ and I have severe autism. If I look like I'm having a tantrum, I'm not okay. Please take me to a quiet area until I calm down." and list an emergency contact number.

Also, those boys were being jerks, and it's too bad that you couldn't advocate for yourself enough to get THEM banned from the store too.

It sounds like you have been having a hard time before the supermarket meltdown, and I'm very sorry to hear that. I wish you and your family the absolute best.

It's great to know that you're taking steps to be more independent! I know how hard it is to go to a store with a job to do and to not be able to do it. You have it all planned out in your head, step by step, what you need to do, and then something happens that messes everything up and it is very frustrating and confusing!

Those boys should not have harassed you, but you also cannot throw things at them because people can get hurt. They were wrong to have been mean, but you can't be mean back even if they are mean to you first. The reason for this is because you are better than a mean person. If someone is mean to you, say to yourself, "I am better than this person because I am nice."

It would also be a good idea, like other posters have said, to have a card explaining your Autism. It might even be a good idea to have different cards for different situations. You can have one that explains Autism, one that explains your meltdowns and how someone can help you when you are having them, and a few others such as one for if you are lost, are being bullied, and one with emergency contact information. It would also be a good idea to keep a notebook and pen or sharpie on hand in case you need to write something to someone.

One of the main reasons why people have a hard time helping you is because they do not understand you. If you are more equipped with things like a notebook and cards that can tell people what is wrong, then they will have an easier time helping you with whatever you need.

And remember, if you do run into meanies, remember this, "I am better than this person because I am nice." Just walk away and find someone else who can help you. I guarantee, there are a lot more kind people out there than there are bad people. They just don't understand and have to be shown a better way.

Also, even though your trip to the store didn't go as planned, I think it's great that you went! Kudos to you! Trying and putting in the effort will make things easier every time you do them.

Best of luck. =)