10 things Aspies wish NT's knew
I wish people wouldn't add ''lack of empathy/unable to put themselves in other people's shoes'' to the ASD diagnosis criteria because NTs are just as bad. If NTs didn't have this trait, and therefore naturally had empathy for everyone and could put themselves into anybody's shoes easily, then people with ASDs and other disabilities would be more understood and accepted. And I know plenty of NTs who are selfish and only think about Number 1 anyway, and they are a lot more selfish than I am. And a lot of people have selfish traits that are tied to their personality, so it's not always necessarily intentional.
Secondly, I wish people wouldn't be so critical towards eachother - especially women. One minute it says ''people don't like being criticised so don't criticise'' as a social rule, the next minute people are criticising eachother all the time. It's crazy! Ah well, if they can criticise eachother and be hostile and firey, then I can criticise people and be hostile and firey towards people's differences. There you go - and all I have to say is, ''I'm only trying to be like other NTs here.''
OK, I might have gone off topic but if people weren't so critical and hostile, and were more empathetic and friendly and accepting of other people's differences, then Aspies would get accepted a lot more and the world would be a better place for Aspies to live in and Aspies would be a lot more understood than they are today.
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Female
These are just me.
1) I like socialising. Im not the best at it but I don't want to be a recluse.
2) If you treat me like a three year old I will get you back
3) I am very good at my job. even the social stuff sorounding it. I am just bad at interviews, it a weird neice skill that is seldom used and has no bearing on my job
I wish NTs knew how consistent things need to be in order for a friendship/relationship to be possible. For example, some NTs don't call when they say they will.......or they have uneven expectations. For example, sometimes it is hard to draw the line between being "too friendly" or too unfriendly. If an NT could just tell me when I need to smile (what time....1pm? 2pm?), it would make things sooo much easier:) And likewise, NTs can be so darned unpredictable------if everything could have an instructions manual to accompany it, I would gladly follow the directions and DO EVERYTHING to make the friendship work; e.g.
1. Smile at 8am
2. Hug 2x a day for 30 min each
3. Cue to stop hugging
4. Downtime for 15 minutes at 45 min intervals
5. Planned activity
6. End planned activity at 7pm, M, W, F
ETC.....
If all the guesswork could be eliminated and everything spelled out, NTs have no idea how much effort I would make.....but the problem is, without it being spelled out or written down, there is too much guesswork in social interaction that i get easily discouraged & give up.
Things Aspies wish NTs knew:
- There is not always an hidden intention everytime I say that something looks good or is nice, it doesn't necesserally mean I WANT it, it just means it looks good!
- Being alone doesn't mean I have SPARE TIME, or I do nothing. Actually, I'm never as busy as when I'm ALONE.
- If I don't speak, it's not because I'm shy, it's because, well, I don't want to speak!
- Not being manipulative doesn't mean I'm DUMB! It means I'm honest! damn normal people
Phonic
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Joined: 3 Apr 2011
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Fun fact: blue and green are considered the same color in the Russian language, they are merely different kinds of the same color.
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'not only has he hacked his intellect away from his feelings, but he has smashed his feelings and his capacity for judgment into smithereens'.
Fun fact: blue and green are considered the same color in the Russian language, they are merely different kinds of the same color.
In Japanese too. Certain kind of green are considered blue. "Midori" means green, and "aoi" means blue, but Green tea is "Aocha" meaning "Blue tea" :p
Fun fact: blue and green are considered the same color in the Russian language, they are merely different kinds of the same color.
In Japanese too. Certain kind of green are considered blue. "Midori" means green, and "aoi" means blue, but Green tea is "Aocha" meaning "Blue tea" :p
They are also the same in these Guatemalan language which my grandfather speaks. I have not idea how to spell the languages name, it's sounds like "kitch-a-quil" or something like that.
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Cinnamon and sugary
Softly Spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes
Autism FAQs http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt186115.html
CockneyRebel
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Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 118,420
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
1. Not everybody on the spectrum wants to be cured.
2. I know what year it is. I'm just not shy about liking the things that I actually do. I don't see the need in pretending to like the latest things, just so that I'll fit in with the rest of society.
3. There are people on the high functioning end of the spectrum who are incontinent as well as people on the low functioning end of the spectrum who have perfect control.
4. The amount of posts that a person makes about their special interests in any given time on WP is not an indication of the level that they function at.
5. Not all Aspies are logical people. I have a heart and not a head.
6. There are times that I do live in my own world. If I didn't allow myself to do that, I would be a very miserable person. I'm not unhappy at all. I have friends, a job and a family that cares about me. I do not live a lonely existence.
7. Yes, you do hear me speaking with an accent. I don't put it on. One of many traits of Aspies is that they might have an unusual accent for the location where they've lived for most of their lives. Not all Aspies speak with an unusual accent.
8. My special interests are very important to me. They're one of the things about AS that I like to celebrate. Take away my special interests and you take away my livelihood.
9. I also only like to dance to music that I enjoy and can actually dance to. To expect me to dance to the latest music is almost like expecting me to wear make up and a dress. It's never going to happen.
10. I do as I do, because I am who I am. To try to change me is a rejection to me.
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The Family Enigma
Fun fact: blue and green are considered the same color in the Russian language, they are merely different kinds of the same color.
Thanks for the fact. It made me laugh.
2. I know what year it is. I'm just not shy about liking the things that I actually do. I don't see the need in pretending to like the latest things, just so that I'll fit in with the rest of society.
3. There are people on the high functioning end of the spectrum who are incontinent as well as people on the low functioning end of the spectrum who have perfect control.
4. The amount of posts that a person makes about their special interests in any given time on WP is not an indication of the level that they function at.
5. Not all Aspies are logical people. I have a heart and not a head.
6. There are times that I do live in my own world. If I didn't allow myself to do that, I would be a very miserable person. I'm not unhappy at all. I have friends, a job and a family that cares about me. I do not live a lonely existence.
7. Yes, you do hear me speaking with an accent. I don't put it on. One of many traits of Aspies is that they might have an unusual accent for the location where they've lived for most of their lives. Not all Aspies speak with an unusual accent.
8. My special interests are very important to me. They're one of the things about AS that I like to celebrate. Take away my special interests and you take away my livelihood.
9. I also only like to dance to music that I enjoy and can actually dance to. To expect me to dance to the latest music is almost like expecting me to wear make up and a dress. It's never going to happen.
10. I do as I do, because I am who I am. To try to change me is a rejection to me.
Lots of good points.
This, really this. People hate it when I do it, but I do it all the time. My sister in particular hates me for it. She calls me a smart ass and that I like to make other people feel stupid. Even if I tell her that she's incorrect, and I merely want her to have accurate information, and that I would want other people to correct me when I'm wrong, she just gets moody and rants about me making her feel stupid all the time.
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Wish people knew about me
1. Sometimes I don't talk for days, and it doesn't mean I don't like my family or friends. Sometimes I just don't want to have to deal with socializing. Usually it's because I have a new interest and I don't want to be interrupted. If you try to talk to me, I will only talk about my new interest and probably annoy you anyway.
2. I am not actually all that shy. I just don't care for small talk, and I have no interest in making new friends. I won't put any effort into a conversation with anyone unless they're very interesting.
3. Please stop telling me to smile. Even normal people don't walk around with grins on their faces, so why should you expect me to smile all of the time? I'll smile if you say something that makes me feel happy.
4. I'm honest. Don't say "Really? Or are you just saying that to be nice?". And don't be offended if I say something you don't want to hear. I know you're just used to people lying because they like you, and me being honest seems like I don't care about your opinion. But you should appreciate that you can trust me, good or bad.
5. I'm not ret*d. Seriously. I was once told by a particularly angry customer that I shouldn't be working in public because I'm ret*d and stupid, etc..
6. I'm also not arrogant and rude just because I don't like to look at people's faces and make small talk. In fact, someone told me it was "f*****g rude" of me not to say thank you to customers. I usually bow my head a little (Or nod, whatever), as a way of saying thank you. I don't really like to talk so if I can use an action to communicate I will.
7. I don't have ulterior motives and I don't say things while meaning something else. I'm blunt and straight to the point. Deal with it.
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