Mego wrote:
ToughDiamond wrote:
I get emotions - often quite strong ones - but it can take me a while to figure out what I'm feeling, so I tend to react by just waiting, and piece things together later.
I do too....I think that's why when I am upset I tend to walk away.
It can be quite hard on the other person if they've made me angry or scared of them. Because I don't know what I'm feeling at the time, I tend to smooth over, "forgive," or totally deny any offense or objection, which I seem to do very convincingly, but after that I think about it more and start piecing things together, and the more I think, the more angry I become. Eventually I complain, and they are often shocked at the strength of my negative feelings once they come out......there's something about the fact that in some way they seem to have got one over on me, that makes me feel horribly violated - I guess that's an Aspie's greatest fear about life, to keep getting worked over because we aren't quick enough to spot when we're being abused.......so I fail to nip things in the bud, and they think it's OK to give me more, and I can't see why they didn't just protect me from it properly in the first place. So every time it happens, all the bullying we've been through comes back and feeds into the intensity of my pain. It's very hard for me to see at the time how small and finite such a situation often is - I have to deliberately tell myself about the limits of the damage, and it's scary trying to turn over a clean sheet and give the benefit of the doubt that they won't slide back, because I know I can be so easily worked over. Meanwhile I find it hard to be warm to them, which doesn't help.....by then they're usually feeling gulity enough already.