confusion about saying "yes"
From the example you gave, about a person telling you about something that someone else has done, and about how they don't like it when you say "let me think about that", I would think that the reason they don't like that is because they think "if you need to think about it, then you obviously don't agree with me", so even though you are trying not to hurt them and trying not to disagree, they still think you are disagreeing anyway.
It's just a weird thing that normal people do. They don't care about "thinking about things", they don't care about who's really right and who is really wrong, they only care about whether you will take their side or not. Everything is social for them, nothing is intellectual. They have primitive minds, they see the world in a simple way, and the way they see it is that you are either with them, or against them, and the reason for it doesn't matter.
If you find out that you are talking to the kind of monkey who only cares about whose side you are on, and they don't care about your true thoughts on the matter, then there isn't really any point in wasting your time trying to express your opinion. If they are less primitive and they want to hear your true thoughts, they will wait until you've had time to think about it.
With the monkeys... If it makes your life easier, you should just agree with them to shut them up, and forget about it. But if it's more important to disagree and "take the other side", then I guess you just have to do that sometimes, even if it's awkward.
I'm talking a lot, like I have some kind of answer, but I don't. I still have no idea how to deal with these dumb apes, really.
Well, there is no "good" solution. You can try to avoid being in contact of such people, but if you are, and it's somebody who wants you to be on their side, well you cannot agree with everything, so there is not much to do. Maybe we can find ways to say that we are not an ennemy without saying that we submit, so we can at least calm down the situation.
Thank you for replying!
I have come to terms now that my slow processing-speed is causing most of the trouble, because I need to translate from visual images into words and I get overloaded by too much of information. And people indeed find it weird, if you cannot answer immediately and I guess somehow I felt it and therefore I use this "yes" to just tell them, I heard, what you said (but I don't necessarily agree, because I haven't really figured out by now, what you are talking about, or what my own opinion might be in this short time one is expected to answer).
My therapist gives me this time and I appreciate it a lot.
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English is not my native language, so I will very likely do mistakes in writing or understanding. My edits are due to corrections of mistakes, which I sometimes recognize just after submitting a text.
This topic has given me an idea for a new topic : how to make accept slowness.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp4387181.html
