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MrXxx
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06 Mar 2012, 6:43 pm

It might help a whole lot if you just explain your point in plain language without the double talk.


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MrXxx
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06 Mar 2012, 6:44 pm

Cross posted. At least your point is there now. Still could have picked a better resource for it though, IMO.


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anarkhos
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06 Mar 2012, 6:45 pm

MrXxx wrote:
It might help a whole lot if you just explain your point in plain language without the double talk.


What double-talk?



MrXxx
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06 Mar 2012, 6:58 pm

anarkhos wrote:
MrXxx wrote:
It might help a whole lot if you just explain your point in plain language without the double talk.


What double-talk?


anarkhos wrote:
Can't something be informative without being humorless?


That just turns my brain into a pretzel. Three negatives strung together. I have no clue what you're really saying.


anarkhos wrote:
Umm...you might be the only one trying.


Trying what? Took me a bit to get what the heck you meant by this. I did after a minute or two, but it's not clear at all at first glance.


anarkhos wrote:
But, by all means use the internet for humorless, serious business.


Meaning what? That you do mean to be humorous, or that you have a serious point to make, or that you are using a humorous site to make a serious point? What? No idea until you finally explained in plainly. You could have done that right up front.

I get what your doing now (I think, but I'm only about 80% sure now), but the way you presented it from the start was very confusing. Two links, no explanation of your purpose for doing so, followed by arguing with the replies that followed.

This site IS filled with Autistics. We're not that good at interpreting people, especially with practically nothing to go on. Almost all of us prefer plain language explanations. Not cryptics, statements made with double and triple negatives that are not easy to interpret, and arguments with comments made about something for which you haven't bothered to explain the purpose.


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MrXxx
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06 Mar 2012, 7:01 pm

So this is your point (finally). Perhaps the thread can pick up now with a better understanding of what you're on about.

anarkhos wrote:
[The point (as the articles makes fairly clear) is to be perceived well by others. If you avoid eye contact you give them a signal which may be unintended.


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Last edited by MrXxx on 06 Mar 2012, 7:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Cornflake
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06 Mar 2012, 7:04 pm

:cheers:


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anarkhos
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06 Mar 2012, 7:09 pm

MrXxx wrote:
anarkhos wrote:
MrXxx wrote:
It might help a whole lot if you just explain your point in plain language without the double talk.


What double-talk?


anarkhos wrote:
Can't something be informative without being humorless?


That just turns my brain into a pretzel. Three negatives strung together. I have no clue what you're really saying.


Oh, good grief. I'll break it down for you then:

You seem to be annoyed that an article can be both informative and (attempt to be) entertaining. You asked if the article was a 'joke' just because it uses humor. I'm asking if an article can have humor AND be informative.

I thought my question was perfectly clear and logical.

MrXxx wrote:

anarkhos wrote:
But, by all means use the internet for humorless, serious business.


Meaning what? That you do mean to be humorous, or that you have a serious point to make, or that you are using a humorous site to make a serious point? What? No idea until you finally explained in plainly. You could have done that right up front.

I get what your doing now (I think, but I'm only about 80% sure now), but the way you presented it from the start was very confusing. Two links, no explanation of your purpose for doing so, followed by arguing with the replies that followed.

This site IS filled with Autistics. We're not that good at interpreting people, especially with practically nothing to go on. Almost all of us prefer plain language explanations. Not cryptics, statements made with double and triple negatives that are not easy to interpret, and arguments with comments made about something for which you haven't bothered to explain the purpose.


OK, so maybe I should have prefaced the article with something. I thought they were self-explanatory, but whatever.

The first part basically makes the case that eye contact IS important. The second part has practical tips on using eye contact more effectively to convey what you intend.

I found the article both interesting and perhaps even useful (to be determined).

Maybe that's a bit clearer now. Sorry.



anarkhos
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06 Mar 2012, 7:10 pm

Cornflake wrote:
:cheers:


I'm glad someone is having fun :)



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06 Mar 2012, 7:13 pm

anarkhos wrote:
Cornflake wrote:
:cheers:
I'm glad someone is having fun :)
It was more of a small celebration that things are resolved and the thread is on course.
I hope it wasn't premature.


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anarkhos
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06 Mar 2012, 7:15 pm

Cornflake wrote:
anarkhos wrote:
Cornflake wrote:
:cheers:
I'm glad someone is having fun :)
It was more of a small celebration that things are resolved and the thread is on course.
I hope it wasn't premature.


LOL!

Partially my fault I'm sure



MrXxx
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06 Mar 2012, 7:17 pm

:D It is now. Yes. I as well, thought I had already been clear that I understood what your point was (unless you were concerned about the remaining 20% of unsurety), but I wasn't really worried about it.

I certainly did not intend to make the whole thread about your communication style. I really did not understand much of what you were trying to say until you posted the explanation plainly. Everything you posted probably is very logical to you, but you've got to remember Autism is pretty rampant here for some odd reason (<--joke), and what seems perfectly logical to you, especially when a lot of negatives or unclear questions or statements are made, someone is BOUND to misunderstand you and your intent.

Back on topic, it doesn't help that we aren't face to face making eye contact. 8)


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MrXxx
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06 Mar 2012, 7:21 pm

anarkhos wrote:
Cornflake wrote:
anarkhos wrote:
Cornflake wrote:
:cheers:
I'm glad someone is having fun :)
It was more of a small celebration that things are resolved and the thread is on course.
I hope it wasn't premature.


LOL!

Partially my fault I'm sure


No way man. It's all your fault. :P Joking of course. It takes at least two to communicate. When it breaks down, it's everybody's fault.

*wipes egg off face*


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anarkhos
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06 Mar 2012, 7:24 pm

Yea, but between us I think the affect of eye contact is largely absent or abrasive.

From personal experience, I had a lot of difficulty making eye contact with my former GF, and it would annoy her. She described a lot of my aspie behaviors as being 'rude'. I recently spent a few weeks with this other girl who didn't make eye contact with me (unless I was taking a picture) which kinda put me off a little.

I don't know what the point of this was except I'm a huge hypocrite.



MrXxx
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06 Mar 2012, 7:43 pm

Rude. I got that too a lot. Guess I did learn to overcome it enough for the doctor who DX's me to say it seemed appropriate to her, but I learned it after a lot of badgering from parents and teachers.

Hypocrite though? I don't see it. It's normal to expect it when you get it all the time from NT's. Just because we aren't good at it doesn't mean we aren't used to it from others.

Your point about how the unintended message it sends to others when we don't do it is pretty important. Like it or not, it does send a message we may not mean, and it is very helpful to learn to overcome.

Did you happen to check the other article I linked to? The reason I posted it, more so than credibility, is that it adresses the value of learning it for Autistics.


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antonblock
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06 Mar 2012, 7:57 pm

hi there,

i think sweetleaf is right, and the OP too.

i think both is important, educate autistics that it is important to do eye contact.... at least try it... and on theother side acknowledge that some people can't do it at least in some situations.

for me it helped to know ( i learned it in the age of 30) that i can see in the eyes if someone likes me or not, or if someone is annoyed or so.... but this information doesn't help me much, wenn I get in a stressfull situation... lets say i meet the one i fell in lovee... then it doesn't help much.... because looking her in the eyes makes me so sensitive.... i just can either look her in the eyes, or hear what she says.... unfortunately i look then away... because elsewise i can't listen and give any ansswer...

bye

anton



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06 Mar 2012, 7:58 pm

MrXxx wrote:
Did you happen to check the other article I linked to? The reason I posted it, more so than credibility, is that it adresses the value of learning it for Autistics.


Yea, but where is the solution