Ddddd wrote:
I don't know why the same behavior exactly from a different person bothers me to no end.
Maybe this change is what it's like to truly trust someone.
My thoughts exactly! I just wonder what makes one certain person different from all the rest..... maybe it's the same reasons that anyone else has specific people who are their best friend or lover - it's just that people like us, who experience such extreme isolation from the rest of world, experience attachment and love (when we find it) equally as extreme. Does that make sense...?
Ddddd wrote:
The mental shell is actually much harder to break than the physical one and it took me a really long time to understand that it's ok to show your emotions and cry.
The first time my friend got me to break down in front of her and let her see my emotions was the main turning point for me, in truly trusting her as well as just finding myself and facing the things I have always run from. I think I always knew that emotions were really powerful things, and since I didn't know how or when to use them (just like not knowing how or when to use words, facial expressions, etc), I figured it was safer for everyone if I just kept them all locked away and pretended like I didn't have any. I now know this is really not a good idea.
Ddddd wrote:
Other people think I'm obsessed with them and I would cancel whatever I have planned to see them again. I'd do anything for them.
The problem is that I tend to stop living my own life and want to live entirely for them and make them happy.
Hm. I feel like I can relate to this. My friend is often drained of energy and starved for time due to her job (she's a professional actress), so a lot of times she invites me over to come and help her clean her room, fold and put away laundry, clean the turtle tank, or other chores that pile up. It always makes me really happy when she asks me for help, and I am always PERFECTLY content when I am there helping her, no matter what the task is. It's like my helping her just becomes my entire purpose and nothing else matters anymore. Like being able to contribute directly and positively to her life makes me feel like I really am a part of HER world, which is the real world as opposed to my own little world where I am the only one who exists.
Roxas - that is pretty intense!! But really cool! It's like you got one of those Super Mario power stars and became invincible for a few minutes!
08 Mar 2012, 1:04 am
