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Why do NT's act like they like you, but if you ask them....

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TallyMan
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12 Mar 2012, 4:00 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
People do that to separate their work life and home life.


I agree. I've worked at places where there are good friendly people who I liked but I wouldn't want to extend that relationship outside of work hours with them. I always tended to keep home / family life separate from work life and colleagues with a few rare exceptions. This becomes even more the case when people settle down, marry and have families.


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infinitenull
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12 Mar 2012, 6:58 am

mglosenger wrote:
I recommend avoiding people in general and only posting things on message boards, although you may not be able to rationally explain why you even post on message boards.

This may induce a general feeling of isolation and disconnectedness, but you're feeling that way anyway so why go through all the extra stuff


internet forums = perfect social situation where stuttering/stammering cannot be heard and thoughts can be gathered ahead of time!

plus you can type hearts ♥♥♥ and add smileys :oops: 8) 8O :D


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xkandakex
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14 Mar 2012, 12:11 pm

Hey.

Does anyone wanna hang out later?

LOL!! !

Seriously though this is the story of our lives, guys. It's just the way it is.

"A true friend is rare indeed", and there's a reason for this saying. What many NTs describe as 'friends' is a loose group of people who are actually 'acquaintances' that spend limited time together. For example, one of my NT co-workers has her birthday coming up, and she's going out with 'friends' to dinner to celebrate.

The funny thing is, this is the first time in many many months that she's actually spent time with these 'friends'. She usually just goes to work, goes home, takes care of the kids, on and on, and not much else. She goes shopping on the weekends with her mom or sister, or by herself. No 'friends' are mentioned, even though theoretically they're out there, somewhere.

Another example: my extremely popular and sociable (NT) older brother. He has TONS of 'friends'. His FB page has like 3,000 friends on it. He's always posting pics of going out having a wild time at clubs with girls hanging all over him. But guess what? If he needs something on a personal level -- advice, someone to talk to about his depression -- he calls either me or our dad. And he gets depressed partly because he feels like he's lonely. Try to figure that one out.

If it makes anyone feel better, after years and years of being flat out rejected for friendship in the ways described by everyone previously, I started letting people come to me first. And even then, they had to gain my trust. As a result, I'm not used by NTs, I have a few close friends, and I have an amazing relationship with a man who genuinely loves me for who I am. Plus HIS friends think I'm great too!



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14 Mar 2012, 12:15 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I used to get this at school. A lot of people did like me, but were embarrassed to be seen with me. I remember when I was about 14, quite a popular sort of girl let me sit next to her in Geography, and one of her mates (who was in the classroom next door) came in to get some new textbooks, and she spoke to the girl I was sitting next to for a bit, then said, ''why are you sitting next to Jo?'' in a critical voice. The girl next to me didn't know what to say to that, so she just said, ''the teacher made us sit together.''

There were times like that what made me really wish I was NT like everybody else.


But I don't get this problem much now. Not sure if I'm psychic or something, but I can sort of tell the difference between somebody really liking me and wanting to hang out with me, and somebody just being ''workfriends'' with me. I'm not really that embarrassing to hang out with anyway any more, so I don't have this problem any more anyway, only with some people of my age.


I had some experiences like that, except to top it off I would get upset over it and then they'd act like they couldn't understand why I would be upset.


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