Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Wanting to be with people but not socialize

Page 2 of 2 [ 22 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

btbnnyr
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago

18 Apr 2012, 11:08 pm

I liked to socialize with people at the library. For me, a fun kind of socialization is sitting at the same table at the library, each person doing own thing, occasionally giving each other weird looks, and not talking, because librarian will come and go "Shhhhhhh".



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

19 Apr 2012, 10:33 am

If you're a youngster, you can get away with attending a social event like a family gathering and sitting there fiddling with your mobile phone the whole time, perhaps playing a game on it or something and making out that you're texting. It's the norm now - every time I see my cousins they are always sitting there staring at their phones that I hardly ever get to have a proper conversation with them.

For the older Aspies, I'm not too sure.


_________________
Female


Dan_Undiagnosed
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 645

21 Apr 2012, 1:49 am

League_Girl wrote:
Does anyone ever want to be with people but yet you don't socialize with them when you are there with them?

For me there's a lapdog kind of mentality I slip into. Sometimes I just wanna be around people I like. I don't want or need to talk to them. I'm happy enough just to listen to them talk to each other and blend into the room like the furniture.



edgewaters
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Aug 2006
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,427
Location: Ontario

21 Apr 2012, 2:28 am

League_Girl wrote:
Does anyone ever want to be with people but yet you don't socialize with them when you are there with them?


Absolutely. I like being around people who are cool with not talking, perhaps doing separate activities. A simple presence can be nice, very comforting even.



YellowBanana
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Feb 2011
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,032
Location: mostly, in my head.

21 Apr 2012, 3:43 am

Joe90 wrote:
If you're a youngster, you can get away with attending a social event like a family gathering and sitting there fiddling with your mobile phone the whole time, perhaps playing a game on it or something and making out that you're texting. It's the norm now - every time I see my cousins they are always sitting there staring at their phones that I hardly ever get to have a proper conversation with them.

For the older Aspies, I'm not too sure.


I don't know if I get away with it but I do it anyway. I'm not a youngster. If the phone is *really* innappropriate for a situation I have a set of small blocks on an elastic that I play with instead which provide a fo us for me. The end result is the same.


_________________
Female. Dx ASD in 2011 @ Age 38. Also Dx BPD


Momofblue
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jan 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 25

21 Apr 2012, 5:32 am

In my house, we call it "parallel play". My family enjoys being together in one room but doing our own thing. Typically, I will be on my laptop or Ipad. My husband will be watching TV or playing Skyrim. Our son will be on the desktop and our daughter will be siting on the couch too on her laptop. We interact a lot when someone will bring up a topic to share but as soon as the conversation is done, we all go back to our own interest. It works out really well and we all agree we love it. It gets hard when we have to have company over such as holidays and we are all sitting around and we run out of things to talk about. I can see all my immediate family members biting at the bit to pull out their laptops, etc but we don't want to see rude so we just deal with it and watch the clock until it's time for the company to leave.