Why were we cursed with Aspergers?

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Life is full of ups and downs, I can look at my flaws as a burden or I can look at my abilities as a blessing. I prefer to be an optimist and stick to the latter.

There are many points in your story where i see some connection to my life. I too dread for the day when my parents (my only 'friends' that understand me) are gone for good, but it is bound to happen

I have had plenty of relationships and it all went pretty much like this
-Sex for the first couple of weeks, acting silly and funny usually scores at dates but it doesnt work with EVERY girl. "act like Q from startrek"
-Start to say clumsy stuff that is a BIG harassement to the girl in question.
-example : I once said my colleagues considered one of my ex girlfriends as average looking but i strongly disagreed with them, this was my way of saying she is special . I never got to the point to say that she was special to me.. she was already crying halfway in my sentence. Awkward... It's a shame i had to leave the restaurant after that
-More and more argueing over time, eventually ending in a disaster after 4 months. My longest relationship lasted 5 months.

I am single for 3 years now, despite the fact that a female friend want to move me to the opposite and start dating. But i dont really want to because
-Relationships for the sake of not being alone does not stop the loneliness feelings. Dont be like 50% of the 'normal' people who start a relationship just for the sake of not being alone!

-I have been alone all of my life. I have struggled greatly in friendships and i have seen many friendships end because of my lack of understanding of social rules

-with the above being said, how can i ever have a long lasting relationship if i just barely got the knowledge on how a succesful friendship works after 27 years living on this mudball? i went through hard times and lots of depression getting to know 'social rules', what the borders of a friendship are and with what topics you can discuss with your friends and that with some topics it is not OK to interefere in. Especially not someone's problems or relationships you are ALWAYS an outsider and some things are ONLY discussed with family, that is still difficult to understand for me to this date..

-Despite the fact that i know the tricks with dating after trial & error, how to get a girlfriend etc, i have no desire to do so. Again, i prefer to function alone.. i dont know any better other than to entertain myself, getting a girlfriend would just change the way of life that i prefer. I have 1 female friend, my only friend. I only get to see her maybe 3 hours every month on average and most of the time it is just for the sake of still having a social life. 9 out of 10 times i tend to start feeling bad after 30 minutes or so because i went through the regular Q&A stuff and i have no idea on what to talk about. It makes me aware of how there is something wrong to me and how i forever will be different. Even after so many years in trying to keep a conversation going by copying stuff (emotions, reactions)that i see from movies in my own way

Atleast she understands it a bit, since she has pdd-nos aswell. I just hit 27 yesterday and i'm now at the age of seriously considering if i want to pursue having a relationship with the chances of failing miserable (because i have always lived with my parents, never do stuff in the house etc, every uncommon for my age ) or if i want to stay alone. Tough choices, tough times.

tl;dr : You should not long for a relationship to get rid of the loneliness. It can make you feel WORSE because it makes you more and more aware of your disabilities the longer it goes on, usually resulting in a CRASH