Happy memories

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The day that I will be buying myself the first Corgi-Mettoy wind-up Routemaster on December 9th, 2006.

The days that I will be buying the other three Mettoy Routemasters to be released, every four months.

Being understood.

Drinking tea on a cold day.

Watching an Austin Powers DVD.

Working on my sketchbook.

Playing my Pinball games on the Internet, my computer and my PS2.

Listening to Nick and Val on my local Talk Station

An afternoon at my Clubhouse, after I Internet myself out, at home.

Eating healthy foods.

Thinking about the Queen

The beauty of the Union Flag

Spending time with little Chico

All music, except for Rap

I spent a significant period of my youth living near a small lake. My summers were spent on the lake, sometimes with friends from school who lived in the neighborhood, but most often alone. The lake was too small for motorized watercraft, and such were not permitted on the lake.
The lake was like a continent, open for discovery and exploration. Different regions of the lake had character and ecology unique to that area of the lake, and I spent leisurely, unworried hour upon hour learning each unique region.
Although I still love and remember each region of the lake, one area in particular occupies my thoughts most often, and most idyllically, especially when the worries of the world begin to encroach upon me.
There was a sandy-bottomed area encompassing several thousand square feet, with a uniform depth of about 6 feet, mottled with columnar growths of aquatic weeds of various species. The water was so clear as to be almost invisible. The reflection of the sun from the light-colored sand, and the shallowness of water, warmed this area of the lake well above the temperature of other regions. As I snorkeled throughout this area, I could submerge and achieve the sensation of flying through a beautiful land of lush and towering jungle, passing along natural pathways carpeted with clean and pure sand unhindered, with randomly schooling or solitary fish accompanying me, seemingly unafraid, as I effortlessly traversed that underwater wonderland.
The influence of those days on the lake, spent relishing the intimacy with the environment and the immediacy of the experience, has remained with me throughout my life. Those days have given me happiness, not only from the experience at the time as well as the memories, but from an appreciation and understanding of a deeper connection to this world, the universe, and my Creator, which is independant of social relationships and entanglements.

This topic is so beautiful I think I will print it out.

I lived for a year in very small farm in the hills of the Appennins. I was ten years old and, for several months, from August to October perhaps, I was alone with the family of the farmer and perhaps an aunt of mine. I say perhaps because I don’t remember any of my family. Perhaps this aunt was in the house where I lived and took care of me for meals and for my baths, which were taken in a wooden tub, my aunt rubbing me, of course naked and with some shame on my part. It was the war and later all sorts of troops begun to arrive, requisitioning this and that (cattle and men) and organizing some artillery in the vicinity. But this happened later. At first it was quiet, except for the butchering of some animal, which, when it happened, disturbed me very much. Mostly I run around in the hilly fields and discovered flowers, trees, bushes and plants that I had never seen in the city. There were olive trees, fig, peach, cherry trees, vineyards and the wheatn and the mais fields. There was also a little wood belonging to the farm. It was all very small, but it all looked grandiose to me at that time. There was a big (so it seemed to me) cherry tree on the limit of the orchard, where I sat eating cherries. Some tomatoes were near and I breathed the particular aroma of the tomatoes leaves. I was happy there and each time I find some fragment of leaf attached to a tomato I rub it to snuff the odor. I relive that universe, now totally eaten up by other forms of farming, much much less attractive. Is it the real thing that I smell? But anyhow I smell it with pleasure.
There was also a straw-stack near the house. It was somehow sliced in the middle by the farmers; I climbed with some ladder in one of the cavities and there I lied, totally ignored by anybody and looking at the blue sky in perfect plenitude of being. Do such moments still exist somewhere, for someone? I like to think they do, I know they do.

Sadly most of my memories are of bad places, and bad times...

But I do remember the times when my father and I used to go for walks in Wimbledon Park, where the forest is. Its too dangerous now, and my father is no longer my father as far as I'm concerned (long story), so I can no longer do that. But looking at photos of the forest; the tall trees, the little hiding places, the dark places where the undergrowth is thick, and the ferns that I used to hide and get lost in when I was little and small enough to hide in between them.

Later, much later I once read something in a collection of letters written by a French author to his wife, a scholar of Tao, who described a place in the Alps where he had to spend some time to convalesce from TBC as the nearest possible thing to Eden. I spent usually my short holidays alone. I took my car and I drove there from Milan where I lived. I arrived in this little village and found a little hotel. The managers were not home, there was their young daughter who served me a beer and a sandwich in a little garden-orchard. While I was having my snack she tried to assist a little bird wounded. When the parents arrived they offered me a beautiful little room with the sight of the Alp Pelvoux and of the valley. I liked all very much and I continued to go in this little hotel for some twenty years. They were short holidays but I have been very happy there. Walks in the glaciers and marmots appearing behind the rocks. Marvelous sunsets, beautiful flowers and colors.
Once that I received surgery in the urinary tract I stopped some kilometers before arriving at the hotel, to pee freely and triunphantly, after protracted sufferences with this problems. It was a doubled happy arrival to the French Alps. I still remember it.

Happyness is standing with 4 friends i trust with my life, totally drunk in a filled soccer stadion listening to the best hard house at 5 pm and feeling totally comfortable and content.

happiness :

i'll let you know when i find it

Pure happiness is experienced by everyone, but only for an attosecond in their lives.