living with housemates

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I was in the same position.

I could hear the kitchen lights turn on.

I could hear the living room noise, the front door, a train a few miles away (no one else noticed it until I pointed it out).

I could hear the **@(#(# microwave run, and the microwave door shut... EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. AHH! A few housemates means the microwave door shutting loudly a few dozen times a day/night, if not more. And, they shut the microwave door HARD. So... annoying. I shut the door quietly, even though no one else could hear it in their rooms.

He might just be trying to be friendly and to get to know you.

I wouldn't have a long conversation every single time. He (and you) would get tired of that.

A quick (under 5 minute) conversation, daily or less often, is fine. It could go something like this:

Person A: "Hey."
Person B: "Hey, how's it going?"
Person A: "Good, how about you?"
Person: "Good. <Insert one to two sentences about something fun about your day... like "I just got back from the new restaurant downtown/gym/Pelzmen's class">
Person B: "Cool. <They respond quickly, like "oh, is that new restaurant any good? I hear it is."
Person A: "Yeah, it was really good.. I liked it. It was a little expensive, but totally worth the trip there. I liked their chicken."
Person B: "Oh, nice... I'll have you check it out."
Person A: "Yeah, you should. < Pause > Well, I better go study.. it was good talking to you."
Person B: "You too. See ya."

What I find most difficult is ending conversations.

They talk, you talk.. so they respond and talk more. Sometimes they keep talking and your conversations are very long.

Long, frequent conversations can overwhelm either of you. So, try to not have an hour long conversation with them every day.
Maybe that long of a conversation every few days (or less,... if you're hanging out as friends, more). Then, shorter (20 minute or less conversations every day between.)

Keep it friendly, light, polite...

You want them to want more of you, not less.

Talking to them an hour every time you see them could make them want to avoid you so they're not "stuck" in a conversation.

So, sometimes just pass by with a "hi" and continue on your way (unless they say "how are you" or something.)
Once a day saying hi throught heir open bedroom door is more than enough... I would do it every 2-3 days. You'll see them in the kitchen/living room... say hi in open, common spaces if they make eye contact with you.

Don't always say hi in the kitchen, in the hallway, etc. You're living together and will see each other A LOT-- saying "hi" every single time is overwhelming.

Not everyone who leaves their bedroom door open wants to talk.
Sometimes they just want air conditioning/fresh air to circulate.
Sometimes they just don't want you to think that they're closed off, too private, etc.
Some people just have a habit of open doors. Remember, not everyone is bothered by small noises like we are.
Kitchen noise doesn't bother everyone, so they don't need their doors closed.

Also, if you just stand there talking forever with them, they'll continue so they don't seem rude...
.... but sometimes they will yawn, look at the clock, mention they're tired, mention they need to study... wrap up the conversation there. Like, "Oh, me too... I'm so tired. <Pause, so they'll say "I know... long day/week." Then say something like "Well, I think I'll go take a nap..." or "I better go to bed" or "I better go study, have a good night."

During a common area conversation, after the topic changes 2-3 times, wrap up the conversation.
Sometimes fewer topics, but I use that as a number. You'll talk about something like this, maybe:
- Hi, how are you... general courtesies. <This is topic 1.>
- Something you did, heard about, other random topic. <This is topic 2.>
- Topic 2 leads you into another topic... perhaps about class, the weather, something.... or some memory they/you have that relates to something one of you said. <This is topic 3>
< Wrap up > "I better go study. It was good talking to you... good night." Alternate goodbyes with "I better go study" or "I'm heading out... "/off to class or "I better get ready for bed, goodnight" to "I think I'll catch that TV show tonight. Have a good night.... bye."

I've lived with people who wanted social houses, and that didn't work out.
Other houses sometimes we only saw each other 2-3 times per week, with short conversation (5 minutes or less) once a week.

TALK ABOUT HOUSE RULES NOW!!

TALK ABOUT HOUSE RULES NOW!!

TALK ABOUT HOUSE RULES NOW!!

Seriously. Make it a light conversation, just casually bringing things up on different days....

Like... maybe this...
You ask:
"Do you ever throw parties or entertain?"
--- They answer. --- You say: "Cool. I'm usually more of a quiet person at home, and if I see friends, I usually go out. I'm not much of a home entertainer or one to have guests over.. I guess I'm just a quiet person. How about you?

You ask:
"What do you think about people staying over?"
--- They answer. --- You say your preferences, in 2-4 sentences.
My house rule was: "No more than 2 overnight guests per month per person, no exceptions.
I told them I really hate hosting, it's not my style,... and they agreed and said "my mom says that guests are like fish... after 3 days, they start to stink." Keep it light, and funny... if possible. Try not to lecture, though you want to say your preferences and what you can handle. Just don't be too lecture-y... keep it casual like "oh? I usually..." and (if you have people stay over) "would you want to know in advance if I'm inviting someone to stay over?"
And most of the time, we should know about it beforehand.

You ask:
"What about smoking?"
--- They answer. --- You say your preferences, in 2-4 sentences.

You ask:
"With my last roommates, we took turns cleaning every 2 weeks. How about you? How would you want to handle it?"
--- They answer. --- You say your preferences, in 2-4 sentences.

It's always good to throw in some funny stories about past roommates (make the stories up if needed) to emphasize your preferences in a funny way.

Examples (yes, you can make up your stories):

"Oh, that's cool that you don't entertain at home much. Me neither. I once lived with a girl/guy that had people over ALLL the time. Seriously, it was like every day or two. He/she was nice, but it got kinda hard to study. I'm glad we both like a quiet place... that'll make it easy.."
(This politely tells them you like a quiet, private home).

or

"Oh, man, this is so NICE and quiet compared to my friend's dorm room. His roommate always has the stereo/TV on, and he always has to go to the library to study. That would really suck. I love how quiet our place is..."
(This tells them that you like a quiet home...)

or

(They say how they prefer to clean house or that they're a clean person.)....
You say "Oh, that's a relief... my last roommate/my friend Jon/whoever is so messy that I swear he didn't clean the bathroom for like 6 months. The shower was so moldly that you felt dirtier after a shower than before.. it was pretty bad."
or
You say, "Yeah, that sounds good... I like a clean place too. My last roommate/my friend Luke/my brother was so dirty that he/she left a weeks' worth of dishes in the sink. It was really gross... I always ended up doing the dishes for him."

Etc.

You definitely want your preferences known...
I go over lifestyle preferences (as in, overnight guests, parties/none, quiet house or not, smoking or not) BEFORE choosing the roommate.
If you're assigned a roommate, go over these things ASAP. Request a new roommate from the school if your preferences really clash.
If you like a quiet, private house and your roommate likes to have friends over all the time, IT WON'T WORK. Compromise... or, better yet, ask for a new room/roommate from the college if moving is free. If you signed a lease off-campus, ask these questions BEFORE choosing a roommate. Find someone with similar preferences. If you're stuck with them, at least go over these things ASAP. Don't be lecture-y, just bring it up and say you "just thought you'd ask,..." and throw in a few funny stories of past roommates (make them up, exaggerate, whatever... just to get it across that you like a clean, quiet home).