Is there a way to avoid being treated poorly?

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I suppose I might as well, and I never knew such a thing existed.

Standing up for yourself is the only thing that works. It's easier when the person is being overtly nasty: if they're making subtle little digs, you can usually make them back down by saying "I'm not sure what you meant by that, could you clarify, please?", and keeping on with the clarification requests until they either back down, or openly snap at you, at which point you can bite back.

just ignore people honestly, why waste the time? if someone don't like you, don't give them a window to air there grievances, i make friends quite easily, because top and bottom of it, I'm a decent person, i don't talk to others often randomly act, but sometimes you just gotta say, I'm not having this anymore and ditch those people from your life. there is no normal, i saw a girl wearing a corkscrew... i mean wtf? if someone mistreats you and it isn't banter, just say, excuse me that's not on, then leave that person entirely, 7 billion people folks, plenty more to get on with, must add i hold grudges for enternity, so like i might not be the best person to give advice, but my true friends know (only need 6 to carry your coffin right), if they were ever bad to me, i would move on in a heartbeat.

Once you're an adult, it's your choice who you hang out with, so ultimately you have total control over how people treat you......simply shun the ones who piss you off too much.

But they might force you to go and work for a living, and if they succeed, you will have no choice but to be with a random selection of people. If you're lucky you might be able to get away from the worst ones. I guess you could try staying on benefit, but they'll be trying to kick you off it every verse end, and you'll have to go to interviews with people who probably won't treat you very well. I solved it by divulging my diagnosis to my employer, who now has to respect my traits a bit more than he used to. It's not an ideal solution and people still get on my case here, but better than it was. The other thing you can do is to live frugally and save up your salary until you can retire early......if you save very hard, you might be able to halve the number of years you have to be a wage slave. Or you could try to work from home, or get a job that doesn't expect you to hang out with vermin.

There will always be times when associating with potential tossers can't be avoided though. You can become ill and need to talk with doctors etc. So try to stay healthy and keep your life fairly simple so you won't need to get folks to co-operate with you much.

It's not a complete solution of course, especially the working for wages thing, so even if you never get lonely, I'd recommend that you study psychology - particularly assertiveness - and make sure you don't exclude the entire human race from your life. The main thing is to call the shots yourself, when deciding how much social pressure to accept into your life. I think it's a lot easier to relax with people when you feel you can stop and rest, and reject anybody who turns out to be a jerk, when you see fit.

But ultimately, if you do the social thing at all, you will get treated poorly sometimes, you will get hurt. All you can hope to do is reduce the frequency of the abuse.

I have a hard time standing up for myself. All I can do is just ignore/avoid people or situations that bother me.

Try using logic and speaking your mind in the situation. Always be yourself but attempt to do so in different emotional states and practice. Its all about neuroplasticity and experiencing different neural pathways. Ie emotions and whatnot. You can care but try objectivity and study their body language. Objectivity isnt void of emotion. Rather is craftes emotion very much like a skulptor and his statue. Always use logic and if they say you dont understand or whatever then seek a higher authority and calmly explain. It isnt worth spending so much time talking to a wall.

With good timing, excessively loud, prolonged flatulence can often work miracles.

-isolate yourselves from harsh/unkind people (people who are nice/kind to you is OK)
-don't care about people's insults (or what they think of you)
-avoid meeting/going with people who don't like you
-just try to do the above three (yea its hard)

I've never found anything that helps entirely. What I do is stay quiet. That seems to help some. People do not seem so irritated by a quiet person. They usually won't say anything derogatory toward me if I don't try to get to know them or interject bon mots into their conversations.

For sure on this second part. I just started my own business to supplement my possibly only 3-4 more years of working for others.

Last edited by kirayng on 11 May 2012, 1:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah I'm painfully over-talkative at times.... it's better now that I'm older and have been with a quiet person for the last decade.

Last edited by kirayng on 11 May 2012, 1:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've been getting more ripped (well even more ripped that I was). That is making a noticeable difference.

Sometimes people are just jerks no matter how nice you are to them, its best to avoid those kinds of people. Usually being nice works for most people though. I usually dont talk to people unless they talk to me first though, I get shy at times just randomly approaching someone and asking them something.

I am naturally talkative and it has taken a lot of effort to control the impulse to talk. I just love talking and right now I am not being true to myself by staying quiet but it's not worth the hassle to be myself.