Aspie men and Aspie women in society!

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This topic was just started for a debate and could be moved to the PPR forum.

My answer: Sex is irrelevant to severity of AS. Both male and female aspies have it equally hard for different reasons.
Females in society are expected to master small talk and white lies and if the aspergirl can't fake it then she is screwed.
Also if a female does not conform to the female gender role (like many of us here including myself) then she is subjected to ridicule.

The same goes for male aspies that don't conform to gender roles. Male aspies go through other issues but I don't see it as more or even less severe than females.

If the OP were female this post would probably say the exact opposite. I have trouble faking it and it's been a struggle for me (I am female)

Go figure, I always thought the guys had it easier. Female relationships seem to be trickier and more interpersonal to me, while with guys it always seems more about a shared interest or activity. As for attractiveness, I highly doubt you'll find a female aspie strutting the stillettos too often. There is so much packaging involved in conventional "attractiveness" and what's worth all that?

A lot of guys like to rough-house and compete. An Aspie male that doesn't like to be touched or doesn't have a lot of competitive drive can feel extremely out of place there. Even if all the guys do is sit around crushing beer cans on their heads, what about all the Aspie guys that don't like to/don't want to drink?

As far as fitting in, it really is all about 1) feeling comfortable with yourself, and 2) finding your group(s). I am a girl that has many, many more male friends than female friends. It's easier to find a guy that won't judge you negatively for your little quirks than to find a girl who won't. I also just happen to have a lot more in common with "regular" guys. I don't get along with heavily masculine men very easily, and I'm no better at getting along with heavily feminine women. (I wouldn't be surprised if others felt that way, too. Either extreme can be very off-putting.) Around guys, however, I can be my honest, normal, self. I can extrapolate about something interesting, and chances are I'll get, "That's cool" rather than the raised eyebrow that I get from some women. Guys aren't catty, they aren't interested in starting nor being a part of drama. Of course, hanging around guys can still involve a girl in the rumor mill, in that other girls may claim you're only doing it because you like so-and-so (what is so hard about cross-gender friendships that NTs can't understand? Yes, it is not only possible, but very easy, for a girl and a guy to be friends without sleeping together!)

Anyway, it's really about the individual person and the way they handle themselves, rather than the gender they are. It is worth noting, though, that the stereotypical "nerd" is a guy, making it easier for a guy (no matter his appearance) to slip behind that label and be accepted. But for some reason, society expects female nerds to all be ugly or have some severe problem. So for a girl to accept that label, she has to be prepared for people to say, "You can't be a nerd!" (because she's too pretty/friendly/etc.) Though once a girl proves her nerdiness and her ability to blend in with the nerd guys, she suddenly becomes very interesting even to non-nerdy NTs... (Sometimes, as a female, it feel like I'm always being hunted... )