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What is a meltdown?

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b9
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01 Jun 2012, 11:33 am

i will try to describe in simple terms what a meltdown is for me.

a meltdown for me occurs (not often at all) when i am thoroughly displeased at the state of affairs and i am seemingly powerless to alter them.
i abandon politeness and protocol and i just blurt whatever comes into my mind at the people who figure in my displeasure. i give no thought as to how it may be wrong to do. i will say every thing i would never have said to them about my opinion of them in one dam burst, and they will usually be swept away out of the realm of my experience because they themselves cannot recover from the social injury i inflicted on them in the course of my meltdown.

i do not often have meltdowns now because i live on my own, and no one and nothing irritates me anymore.



Ganondox
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01 Jun 2012, 11:44 am

IMHO a meltdown is when negative emotions excedes emotional control, and is more common among aspies due to lower emotional control.


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jonny23
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01 Jun 2012, 12:30 pm

Ganondox wrote:
IMHO a meltdown is when negative emotions excedes emotional control, and is more common among aspies due to lower emotional control.


I agree, except that I wonder if it's less emotional control or more powerful emotion. Some research has shown that the amygdala was, on average, larger in children with autism.

For me the emotion seems to sneak up, I don't even know it's coming and then BAM! It smacks me right up side the head full tilt boogy.



MomofThree1975
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01 Jun 2012, 1:44 pm

Thanks so much for your replies. It really helps. I think my son has tantrums and semi shutdowns. When he has had enough, he sucks his thumb and lay down where ever he is. At this point, only someone close tohim can hug him. Everyone else he pushes away.



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01 Jun 2012, 5:03 pm

Kjas wrote:
MomofThree1975 wrote:
Hi,
I keep hearing about meltdowns and I am not sure if my son has them. Can you stop a meltdown with a hug? Or just laying down? And about what age did they start?

TIA!


A tantrum is what happens when a child does not get their own way. They know it is wrong but they also know that if they pull a tantrum they will be more likely to get what they want. A tantrum is a voluntary reaction in which the goal is to get what they want via manipulation.

A meltdown is when something triggers the child, and as a result they have a meltdown because they cannot cope with being overwhelmed, overstimulated, with a change of routine or with things are generally not fitting into their world. A meltdown is an involuntary reaction to this because it is the only way they can cope (or the way they can't cope, however you want to look at it).

This is a pretty clear description. And I think "meltdown" describes many (though not all) of my tantrums as a kid--I just didn't know how else to react in some situations. I had them as a kid and even as a teenager. I still have them sometimes now. Shutdowns are much more common for me, though.



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01 Jun 2012, 5:11 pm

Kjas wrote:
MomofThree1975 wrote:
Hi,
I keep hearing about meltdowns and I am not sure if my son has them. Can you stop a meltdown with a hug? Or just laying down? And about what age did they start?

TIA!


A tantrum is what happens when a child does not get their own way. They know it is wrong but they also know that if they pull a tantrum they will be more likely to get what they want. A tantrum is a voluntary reaction in which the goal is to get what they want via manipulation.

A meltdown is when something triggers the child, and as a result they have a meltdown because they cannot cope with being overwhelmed, overstimulated, with a change of routine or with things are generally not fitting into their world. A meltdown is an involuntary reaction to this because it is the only way they can cope (or the way they can't cope, however you want to look at it).

Hugs depend on the the child. Some children react horribly to hugs, it will only make their meltdown worse. Others react very well to hugs with deep pressure. It is up the child as an individual as to what they can and cannot handle. Try both ways on separate occasions if you are unsure, and note how they react or if they're older, simply ask them.

They start whenever they are triggered. Some children start at 1.5 years and others won't start until they are 5 or so. Often meltdowns are mistaken for tantrums and therefore they have have been having them for a long period of time, only the adults around do not realize the difference.



If that is a true description of a tantrum, then I have probably never had one in my life. I can remember crying for not getting my way but I sure didn't choose to start crying and screaming, I was upset and wanted it so if that was involuntary, then it had to be a meltdown right? Back then they were called tantrums.


I am sure NT kids also meltdown when things don't go their way because do they just choose to get upset and start crying and screaming?

Meltdowns can look like tantrums because if you were to tell an autistic child they can't go somewhere, they starts to cream and cry, you may think it's a tantrum because I bet if you decide "okay we will go" they calm down but they may still feel a little upset and will take them awhile to feel normal again. That is how I work.

Honestly I can't tell myself when I see it from someone. To NTs, they both mean the same thing. Meltdown is just a PC word for tantrum in their language. Tantrum is being slowly phased out in parenting magazines and on parenting websites and being replaced with meltdown.


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Sora
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01 Jun 2012, 5:16 pm

I find this explanation of a meltdowns and the comparison to a tantrum very clear and, for its shortness, also precise:

http://www.autism-causes.com/the-meltdown.html

Quote:
1. During a melt down, a child with autism does not look or care, if those around him are reacting to his behavior. A child having a tantrum will look to see if their behavior is getting a reaction.

2. A child in the middle of a meltdown does not consider their own or others safety. A child in the middle of a tantrum takes care to be sure they won't get hurt.

3. A child in the meltdown mode has no interest or involvement in the social situation. A child who throws a tantrum will use the social situation to their benefit.

4. Meltdowns seem to move along under their own power and wind down slowly. With a tantrum, it will end suddenly when the situation is resolved.

5. A melt down gives the feeling that no one is in control. A tantrum will give you the feeling that the child is in control, although they are pretending they are not.

6. The meltdown usually begins when a specific want has not been permitted and after a point, nothing can satisfy the child until the meltdown has run its course. A tantrum is thrown to achieve a specific goal and once the goal is met, things return to normal.


(There's a lot more on that behind the link.)


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01 Jun 2012, 7:10 pm

Anybody watch the recent Amazing Race 20 show?

Was wondering if Big Brother Rachel might be an Aspie (she has a BS in Chemistry), because she had way too many meltdowns during that race.

And yet she still managed to end the race as part of the final top three teams.



Kjas
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01 Jun 2012, 8:12 pm

League_Girl wrote:
If that is a true description of a tantrum, then I have probably never had one in my life. I can remember crying for not getting my way but I sure didn't choose to start crying and screaming, I was upset and wanted it so if that was involuntary, then it had to be a meltdown right? Back then they were called tantrums.


I am sure NT kids also meltdown when things don't go their way because do they just choose to get upset and start crying and screaming?

Meltdowns can look like tantrums because if you were to tell an autistic child they can't go somewhere, they starts to cream and cry, you may think it's a tantrum because I bet if you decide "okay we will go" they calm down but they may still feel a little upset and will take them awhile to feel normal again. That is how I work.

Honestly I can't tell myself when I see it from someone. To NTs, they both mean the same thing. Meltdown is just a PC word for tantrum in their language. Tantrum is being slowly phased out in parenting magazines and on parenting websites and being replaced with meltdown.


NT kids do get upset, but there is a difference between them being upset and a tantrum. Tantrums are used for manipulation.

If a NT child is truly upset, it would be because they can no longer self regulate their emotions (which is fair, since children are still developing), hence being upset. However, if they are really upset, they will not be looking at you for your reaction.

Looking at you and gauging your reaction is a sign that the child (whether NT or ASD) is simply trying to manipulate you or is attention seeking.


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01 Jun 2012, 11:26 pm

It seems like the definition of tantrum has changed. Back when I was a kid it meant someone who was yelling and screaming and crying. I used to think tantrums means throwing things but then in my teens I found out it means crying. Then I learned at age 16 they were called meltdowns and I always thought I had tantrums in school because I would get too frustrated and start to cry or sometimes throw things or curse or yell. I am sure those would have been called tantrums in my childhood.


:shrug:


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