Do people like you again if they see your 'ugly' side?

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I don't know if I have or not, but I can't help thinking about that scary possibility.
In fact, that may be part of why I find it hard to present or express feelings in
normal situations....

A couple of years ago they moved my chemistry teacher to another class and I got a new one. It was a serious thing for me, so I started crying under the radiator in class and my best friend told me I was being ridiculous and childish, but after a while it went back to how it was before.

You're a giant ape for god's sake, and Rise of the Planet of the Apes JUST CAME OUT! It really makes sense that they'd be fearful....

funny thing though, see, when we met, she came on to me hitting on me, ive been the one their for through all her s**t n i dnt like preach to her about stuff, whenever she brought up a problem, id talk to her about it but thats all, she keeps wanting a bf more then anything, and me already being involved with someone pisses her off because shes even said im the best friend she has ever simply because i actually showed i cared about her and not just getting with her and thus she said she loved me as her best friend, but teenage girls are tricky, mad n pissy with me and saying i didnt help in the right way cuz i talked to her about NOT doing s**t n her getting mad by saying i dnt support her happiness so im the a-hole. But whatever, i dnt talk to her anymore, big arguement where she decided to go all Catholic Militant on me....while quoting the New Testament...because her brother was talking about it more....again, she may say she had no feelings for me, but it was f*****g plain to see the BS that was, and she simply got upset she couldnt be with the person she felt actually gave a damn about her, even when i stopped talking to her she tried callin n callin n sayin "oh im not trying to apologize but just listen to me really quick lemme just talk" n shes did this 3 times.

This is i suppose the cost of people trying to make me their friend and their therapist. Hell, after a while, she'd ask me for advice, id give her advice, n she got mad at me saying i was trying to control her n tell her what to do....cuz i gave her advice....when she asked me for it...people are just messed up sometimes honestly, some people dig their own holes and dont even realize it until there too far down and already screwed

Giving advice is tricky. It's one thing to be a sounding board and explore options with someone, but even with my long-time spouse I'm reluctant to advise, even when my advice is asked for. His decisions have to be his decisions, not something pushed on him by me. I'd rather offer feedback that's as objective as possible, and explore several options and potential outcomes, not suggest or choose one for him.

thats pretty much what i tried :\ to give more feedback then advice, and im sure that objectivly, being 15 n doing that crap, isnt right. Id voice my concerns but thats all, i even told her she didnt have to listen to me or anything i said, i was just telling her i didnt think she should but told her ultimately its her choice n either way id still be there to help catch her when she fell, but she chose to end our friendship because apperantly i was a sh***y friend for voicing concerns n caring while still not forcing anything on anyone, which is what she'd take it as, me trying to force her to do things my way, when i simply showed her my way and basically said "follow me this way, but only if wanna." and she said "f**k that! im goin down the road with the heroin needles n coke straws!"

My bad side is different from some people's bad sides. I never get violent and usually don't get visibly angry. Instead, I get severely depressed. However, the friends I have now have learned to deal with it when I get that way and know that I just need to talk it out.

I think sometimes it can be because we get very good at wearing a mask and it is too much of a shock to people to see how different we really are underneath - it's almost like we've been lying or dishonest so it makes them feel like "what else is this person hiding?!" A good friend or a nice person would see through this and accept that it is actually a gesture of trust and maybe see how difficult it is to drop the mask and be vulnerable with them, so it might make you closer.

To cope at work, I am superficially very smiley, friendly, helpful, efficient and cheerful. I am actually terrible at social interactions, and meetings and so on give me a deep sense of dread. Most of the time I'd rather be home and never have to speak to these people, but I have learned the correct social responses for most work situations and how to fit in. If anyone tries to become more personal or deep than that though then they don't get anywhere cos I'm all out of responses!

I don't see this as lying or hiding things from them though, it is a coping mechanism, and if I ever should be in a situation where I trust someone enough to let my guard down and show them just what a sociophobic and inept human being I really am, I would hope that they would be OK with the real me, but I'm in no hurry to find out! I don't think it is that much different for the rest of the population though - everyone puts on a "public persona" of some kind and is more relaxed and "themselves" with those they are close to and trust, aren't they?

I suppose my "ugly" side is the side that could happily not speak to or interact with anyone for months at a time, given half a chance (except for my son, of course, it is different with him) I don't think anyone would cope that well with me pretending they didn't exist for months at a time, so I shall continue to keep my "ugly" side to myself and strive to be more sociable, at least outwardly!

It sounds as if she didn't want anyone around to remind her even by their presence that this is a bad idea. It's possible you're better off not having to watch her possible self-destruction, but I'm sure that thought doesn't make you feel any better. Unfortunately some people have to learn things the hard way, on their own, and there's not much others can do about it. Sad.

Most people still like you... emotions are human.

But, at some point, friends get tired of excess drama. If someone weeps on your shoulder every time you go to a movie with them for months, that's going to get old, and you're not going to want to spend time with them.

I would like to point out that NTs are so weird, if you don't show enough emotion then you 'don't care' or 'are considered cold' but when you show too much you're considered whiny and attention seeking. It can be especially difficult finding the right balance of emotions to express I guess in an NT world too much or too little of anything isn't good. It's frusterating.

I either lose friends or relationships because
I like to sit down and talk about problems (irony is that even though NTs say they want to do it too doesn't mean that they will accept responsibility of their own faults, in other words a compromised is never reached and the blame falls only upon your shoulders or

I'm pretty much honest about what the problem is and I know pretty much what has to be done to reach a compromise but again NTs don't like to listen.

Out of feeling frusterated of TRYING to get NTs to see my point of view I get angry to the point I can't really think reasonably anymore and my thinking becomes a jumbled mess