Verbal/communication impairments

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I participate in open share small groups at recovery meetings, or try to. I have to try tying in parts of the teaching or story that resonated with me and segue into something I picked up on the walk from large group to the rooms, all the while trying like hell to remember what I wanted to share in the first place. I often have to share first or I will bail on the whole verbalizing thing, some of the smaller 'good old boy' meetings give me a hard time about the rambling, so I try to reel it in before 3 minutes and I feel like the old Micro Machines commercials, then I'm stuck hearing others monologue on something their wife said for 20 minutes and the leaders just let them do it; I've started stimming 'louder' once they go past 5 minutes.

But yeah I am pretty much useless for realtime talk

Okay, this is something I wonder about:

When I hear a possibly ambiguous statement (in that the literal meaning differs from the contextual meaning and I realize the literal meaning is probably incorrect, which I don't always realize) I end up flipping through multiple possible interpretations before picking one that I think fits the context of the situation - doesn't always work, and I don't always go through this process. I wonder how NTs determine the appropriate meaning to apply to an otherwise ambiguous statement. Is it just automatic? Do they have to flip through the various meanings and decide?

The main issue I have is that sometimes I can lose where I'm at in a conversation and suddenly stop speaking and my mind seems to "freeze up." My friend has always referred to it as "mindlock." Generally, after a few seconds pass, I'm able to speak again and finish what I was saying (I think this is partially why people think I'm stoned). Sometimes, I find myself having to engage in tactile stimming in order to free up my mind again.

Either it's automatic, or they know where the conversation is headed? It always sounds so fluid and easy....
I find it almost impossible to figure out what NTs are talking about when they're talking about other people's motivations, and dissecting their actions. Gossiping, in other words. I have no idea what they're saying, and when it is spelled out for me I can't imagine how they reached those conclusions.

I sometimes argue with gossip because it makes no sense to me. It's like people will pick this one thing out of an entire person - one word, one piece of clothing, one action while walking down the street and then they'll build an entire new person - an effigy of the real person - out of this one thing, and then blow it even further out of proportion. How can they think they know all this stuff and be so sure of it? Are they always wrong?

i suspect there's a lot of clique-y subtext going on. And there's more of a bonding factor to it than a simple exchange of information. *shrug*