Do you find people generally forgiving of social faux pas?
Though people often shop together, they may still pay separately. This is commonplace with NT women especially. The cashier might have deduced that you were with your mother, but thought you were doing separate shopping.
That's why I try to not to jump on the whole "people are so stupid" bandwagon without at least trying to analyze other possibilities.
Though people often shop together, they may still pay separately. This is commonplace with NT women especially. The cashier might have deduced that you were with your mother, but thought you were doing separate shopping.
That's why I try to not to jump on the whole "people are so stupid" bandwagon without at least trying to analyze other possibilities.
Yer, I know, this is what my mum pointed out. Body language doesn't explain everything about your intentions. If the cashier looked at me and sensed that I wasn't waiting to be served by looking at my body language, then she would have known by intuition what I was doing and went on to the next customer, but, like my mum said, she just saw me, as a customer, standing there by the till and thought she'd ask if she could help. That proves that NTs aren't mind-readers and so don't always know exactly what you're doing by examining your body language. So you are right.
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Female
Yes, and two other points. 1) Do you know this second cashier was NT? 2) Moreover, shop workers are often directly told by their superiors to offer assistance to anyone who may need it. In other words, even if it seems they are "with" another customer, the workers are directed to err on the side of caution just in case there is a misreading of body language, even if it seems crystal clear to them that you didn't need help because you were with your mother.
Yes, and two other points. 1) Do you know this second cashier was NT? 2) Moreover, shop workers are often directly told by their superiors to offer assistance to anyone who may need it. In other words, even if it seems they are "with" another customer, the workers are directed to err on the side of caution just in case there is a misreading of body language, even if it seems crystal clear to them that you didn't need help because you were with your mother.
Yes, that is exactly what I was explaining except you've put it better. It goes to show that NTs don't get body language right every single time and so they like to make sure just in case it was a misreading of body language. And I don't know for definate if this cashier was NT or not because I didn't know her, she could've been anything (mild obviously because there was nothing strange or unusual in her actions) but I assume she probably was NT, and just because somebody is, at the time, vulnerable to body language doesn't mean you have to doubt they are NT. Everybody makes mistakes, nobody's perfect.
Thankfully I can actually read body language from instinct, I don't have the Aspie trait of being unable to read body language. Reading body language is not a frequent problem with me, so I'm quite good at expressing it and also reading it in other people, generally.
But don't bother giving me a written test on body language because I would probably get a zero.
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Female
Thankfully I can actually read body language from instinct, I don't have the Aspie trait of being unable to read body language. Reading body language is not a frequent problem with me, so I'm quite good at expressing it and also reading it in other people, generally.
But don't bother giving me a written test on body language because I would probably get a zero.
A possible irony is that the person may have not been NT and truly unable to read your body language. Though she probably was NT.
I also have a theory that NTs may not be able to read Aspie body language very well. They can instinctively tell it's different. Just as you can tell Mandarin Chinese looks and sounds very different from English, you can't actually understand it the way you can English. Maybe NTs see us as aliens and don't know how to decipher our language.
I refer to such judgmental people as "raging neurotypicals". You know, forever defining their lives by the perceived approval they get from their "peeps". Such people tend to be either dismissive of Aspies or outright hostile - and their hostility seems to gain speed if they think that they can get social approval from within their circle by "weeding out" the weirdos. Once burned in this way, I avoid such people with a passion.
Frankly I tend to prefer socializing with other outcasts, because I feel sympathy for them.
How true, every bit of it. But don't get paranoid over those silly people. They don't deserve your attention.
Not necessarily. Maybe in some cases, but not all. I only have a mild case of AS and I have learnt to adapt to the NT world, the only differences in my actions are nerves, I can look very nervous or shy, but it's only a minor difference that does not exclude me from being recognised in a normal way to other people.
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Female
I find most people in the settings I naturally frequent rather forgiving of social mistakes. In the rest of society, I feel the majority is either forgiving, or at the very least somewhat accepting. I rarely have people yell at me or call me a ret*d or anything like that. Sometimes I get a vibe that they're thinking it, but at least they're not saying it. The few people who really write me off as an idiot or who can't forgive a faux pas are usually people I wouldn't want as my friends anyway. My experience is those people tend to be superficial, boring and intellectually not stimulating to be with, in general. Quite a few of them turned out to be narcissists, too, and very unhealthy to be around. So good riddance, really.
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