Freaky Councellors

Post Reply New Topic

Thanks Callista, you have a lot of insights to share and i really appreciate you taking your time to reply to my post. I don't get what the "affirmation" is ment to do- convince the patient it's ok to have the problem? Convince them that actually they don't have a problem? Humans are strange creatures.

Agreed, though finding them can be hard.



Again, agreed.



I know this might not be the most popular view on this forum, but I really don't want to be different. Every school day between the ages of five and eighteen I had to face people who delighted in making my life a living hell. When I was in primary school there was only one girl in the class who would go near me as being associated with me was enough to lower the social standing of the child in question to the point that they'd be fair game for the bullies as well. And that's not mentioning the measures my parents took to try to make me normal- they started when I was three years old. Whilst doing my undergraduate degree it took me three years to find anybody who actually wanted to be my friend rather than just use me for their entertainment or social gain. I won't go into my experiences with men, but let me just say I wish I shared your sexual orientation. To do my PhD I've had to move to a huge city where I had nobody and start from scratch again. Although I have a few aquaintaces at the Universities' Scifi society, I find it very difficult to trust them. Now, following a year of trying, I have one good friend and a couple of people who I'm friendly with, but I hardly see them due to their work commitments. I would gladly give anything to be able to socialise normally and spot the predators and ***holes. Even if it cost me all my academic abilities, it would be a sacrifice I would gladly make if it gauranteed me the ability to take part in the life of my peers and be a valued member of their group instead of being pushed to the outside. I'm sorry if this is offensive to people here, and if you're happy with your ASD or whatever then very good for you. I'm not in favour of eliminating autism from humanity or torturing autistic children to make them conform to their parents expectations. I just want to be normal. That's all



Am trying, but I have to wait until after I've been assessed to see whether or not I've got an ASD. Getting an assessment is taking longer than my doctor anticipated. About 6 months longer, but that's another story.

But thanks again, I do appreciate your reply.

Thanks for the encouragement!

I'm glad you found something that helps, though how you can "think too much" is beyond me. What is RET?

You've never experienced thinking too much?

Almost every day I get stuck on a certain thought line that overwhelms me and I have to conciously cut it off..

I can't sleep until I shift my focus to fantasy, otherwise my mind just continues to work at problems and questions...

I must say I live in extremes... my emotions are definately black and white towards others, I'm either over-thinking something, or underthinking it because focus is elsewhere.

I get told by most people that know me that I think too much, for me I never knew I was this way until I tried very hard to relate to others. At this point I discovered things I'd spend weeks or months questioning, are things most people take as intuitive fact. Things I'd spend an hour analysing, are usually things people would simply assume..

So I guess it would be better called obsessive-thinking, over-analysis, or an over-driven personaltiy.

Actually, I identify with what you describe, I just didn't think that's what you meant. I also find I get music stuck in my head very easily, which I find especially irritating. I thought your counsellor meant for you to take things at face value instead of analysing them. Sorry.

RET....Rational Emotive Therapy....I'm not really saying it's a great therepy.It was just an improvement on my first Freudian based psychologist(who later lost his license for have sex with a client...not me,thankfully)and behavior mod counselors who wanted me to think/feel like NT....It's not that I didnt want the advantages of being NT but that I couldnt do it and wouldnt have been "me" if I had.


The counselor who told me I thought to much was referring to....

as example...

her....look in the mirror and tell yourself you are attractive and deserve a good life.

Me....I am not attractive in my eyes...not all people are attractive...I would much prefer liking myself inspite of my appearance then lying to myself...I dislike liers.Do I deserve a good life?Perhaps I have done some bad things in this life or a past life and need to learn a lesson through having these negative experiences....perhaps the experiences are to teach me to have more empathy for others who suffer?I certainly know of people who have had worse life experiences and are still happy people.
I seem to be missing some "thing" that goes beyond my actual experiences that does not allow me to feel the joy that I see others around me experiencing...actually emotions appear alien and fake to me,but that is probably my projection...or is it?

Her...*tearing large chunks of her hair out by their roots*...You think to much

i've been to a few counselers before, and they never helped. it was surprising how little discussion occured during my sessions. i went to them thinking that they had the answers when in reality, they did not. i felt that i had a better understanding of my diagnosis, then they did.

truly useless.


i'm sure for some people seeing a psychologist could help, but it certainly didn't alleviate any of my frustrations/conflicts.

I think the scenario you describe is a type of technique often used by the likes of counsellors, psychologists and psychiatrists. It, I assume, is meant to lead you to bring out what is going on inside your head without any leading. I think it is designed to get you looking for deeper roots of the problem you came about.
By not speaking to you they hope you find answers for yourself.

This technique, I feel, could be good with some people, in some situations, but is maybe not the best technique with some people, or for every situation.

The staring is freaky and in my experience quite often the case with these people.

Of course, the whole of her technique could have been used to see your reaction to ascertain if you might be on the autistic spectrum. That said, professional ideas of ASD can be very outdated from their training and does not often see the different ways people on the spectrum can be. Some people, like myself, are mild and high functioning and have adapted through life to the extent their status on the spectrum is invisible.

The sudden and profound interest at the mention of sex is stereotypical of these professions, but I feel that stereotype come about from somewhere and can often be based on disproportionate reality.

Maybe she just gets a kick out of listening to other people’s sex lives and analysing them, whether her reasons are professionally or personally based.

I would have asked why she stares at me and does not speak and that I would find it more of a benefit if she responded to me and explained that it would be good for me just to speak freely for a while without her response and the that she will at some stage respond to me in a way I request (if reasonable).

Of course she might have thought that that people on the spectrum would not notice the staring and not responding and would not want interaction, but this, if it is what would be thought by her, would be complete bull---t.

A lot of people with psychological problems take up these professions and project their problems onto their clients. Maybe her interest in you sex-life highlights problems she has with hers.

It is important, when seeking this type of help, that you find the right type of person. They need to have an understanding of ASD in adults and the effects socialisation and other adapting as we grow up can have on lessening the display of the traits. Neurological diverse conditions are very different to psychological and psychiatric ones and anyone you see has to understand this.

If you see anyone else, maybe explain how you found this woman’s approach and suggest an approach you feel you will be more beneficial to you. However, realise they will have to first rule out possibilities that are not autistic spectrum linked and they may have procedures they have to use do this.


Debra

Yes this is what talking therapists do, they basically sit there like stone waiting to soak up what you say, you're just expected to release all your woes and chat away. But if you're on the autistic spectrum which sounds probable this ain't the the best therapy for you. They can help you work through your problems, but really counselling is just a refuse bin a way for you to chuck out the junk. You would benefit more from some constructive help, firstly a diagnosis then some kind of help directed at the difficulties you have as a result of the AS.

I've had a number of experiences with counsellors, I think I usually terrify them. The first one was actually a psycho therapist, she was Russian, and quite scary. She told me I was a fraud! Then a year ago I saw a counsellor did'nt talk about feelings just information about brains autism, etc after the thrid session she had a brain haemmorage. I do hope she is okay, she had some kind of brain tumour. I am very reluctant to see anymore therapists this year I have cencentrated on getting practical help for my balance problems and sensory integration difficulties.

When I was in one situation where I was counseled, the only use for the counselor was to dig up dirt on me. I found out later that many of the things that he wrote up about me were not true. At least two counselors did that to me. I have a record that is false, that is loosely based on what I told psychologists, very loosely, and this is what my life is like, people digging things out of me, twisting them into unrecognizable shapes, then presenting them to God as evidence that I should not be alive.

thanks Krex,

I've been dragged along to New Age (or should I say "newage") seminars by friends, and that sounds like the sort of thing you'd find at one. They get you to do this sort of thing, usually while holding crystals or dancing with "dolphin spirits" or whatever else they've cooked up and expect you to go all doe eyed and teary or something, and suddenly accept yourself for who you all, even if everything you've experienced throughout your life is telling you to do the opposite.



Sounds like your counsellor likes the sound of the word "rational", but can't handle a mind that actually fits that description. It seems to me that this therapy's a form of brainwashing that is meant to act as a panacea rather than actually help the person being councelled. I wouldn't have much time for it if a counsellor tried it on me.

Aaargh! To go through it once was bad enough for me, I'm sorry to hear you've had to face it multiple times. I hope you find something that works, I hope we both do.

Thanks Debra, I can see how that would work in some situations, but I'd really question it's legitimacy as a form of therapy if the therapist is unwilling (or unable) to change their tactics after two or three sessions if it's not working and obviously causing the patient distress.



She said she didn't think that applying "labels" like AS would help.



She certainly fitted the stereotype, but I doubt anyone would get much of a kick listening to the details of my sex life.



I did ask several times about the technique, but she gave no reply. I was too nervous to ask anything else or question her much, though.



thanks Debra, my GP is very sure that i'm not on the spectrum, though. I know GPs are often not good at spotting these things, but her practice is my University's medical practice. My University specialises in Science, Mathematics, Engineering, Computing and other similar subjects, so they get quite a few people on the spectrum, and she treats a few herself. She knows what AS and it's relatives look like.

Thanks Fresco, I think I may have made a mistake going to her for help in the first place, as it was constructive help that I was looking for, although I wouldn't jump to conclusions about AS. Discovering AS has been confusing and frustrating for me- I have many of the difficulties that people diagnosed with As have, but every professional I've spoken to has dismissed the possibility without so much as a second glance. As I said to Debra, I have been in contact with a doctor who's used to treating people with AS (I have an appointment with her every month so she can keep an eye on me), and she doesn't think I have it. I may have problems fitting in, but I think my eye contacts' ok (I don't think I've ever been in trouble for it, and my parents are very good at spotting things I do wrong), and I'm capable of varying my timetable without too much trouble. I have no particular fascination with numbers and dates and do not have a life long special interest. The things I am very interested in do not impinge on the other things in my life. I don't have much to report in the way of sensory peculularities either. I'm waiting to see a specialist, though.



Yikes! I'm sorry to hear about your counsellors!. After experiences like these, it does not suprise me that you don't want to get more therapy. Good luck finding something that works!

Surely there's a professional body you can complain to? I don't know how you can go about clearing your record, but it must be possible. I don't know your age, but I think these things happen more frequently to young people who have not developed the confidence or experience to get across to these people what is actually wrong. It's difficult. They have a book that has lots of little "boxes" in it and they want you to fit into one. Preferrably one that can be treated with lots of drugs. I know a guy who was diagnosed as bipolar and medicated up to his eyes for years. Then he got to see a doctor who knew about ASDs and he was rediagnosed with AS and ADD. He needs ritalin, but once they took him off the other crap he made a miraculous recovery. I'm sorry to hear you've had such a bad time and hope things get better for you.

Your post reminded me of a psychologist I saw. 'Sit and stare' was her favorite activity. On occasions when she'd asked me a question and I was - clearly - having a lot of trouble formulating an answer, I would have thought it might be good practice to make some gentle suggestions (as the very good counsellor I'd seen previously used to do if she could see I was having difficulties) - but, no, it was just 'sit and stare', which made me feel even more trapped and confused.

I'd been to her to raise the possibility of AS, but when I happened to mention that during my childhood my father had been in the armed forces and the family had moved around a lot, she pounced on that and thereafter seemed to keep bringing that up as the answer to every problem (because I hadn't had long-term friends to relate to while growing up). I'm sorry, but that's bullsh*t. Many children move house regularly because of a parent's work - including two of my own cousins - and do not have these kinds of problems.