15 Jul 2012, 7:21 am
inastrangeland wrote:
I would say that being selfish requires that you know what others want or need, but disregard it without good reason. If someone came up to me and asked me for a favor/help/understanding or anything else in Farsi, it wouldn't be selfish of me not to comply--I'd have no idea what they wanted. That's basically what it's like when people either don't communicate their wants/needs/desires or when they do so mostly through nonverbal cues. They expect you to understand because ” normal” people do, but they're really speaking a foreign language.
They do it in hidden verbal cues aswell, which I tend to also miss. I've learned by experience that when someone says; "We havn't assembled [insert item here] yet this [insert month/year/season here], I wonder when we will get the chance to do it.", they are actually asking without asking (usually) if you could volunteer to help them, or just do it for them.
My wife has helped me understand these hint after we have left social events, because I always seem to miss them in the heat of the warzone that is a group conversation. She has started to just declare them these days. When she notices a hint, she just blurts out that I am notoriously bad at picking up hints, and if they want to ask me something, they need to actually ask (depending on the task in question and the company of course).
15 Jul 2012, 8:49 am
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