IdahoRose wrote:
I used to be very, very emotionally attached to my special interest in movies that were both directed by Tim Burton and had Johnny Depp as the leading man (movies including Edward Scissorhands, Sweeney Todd, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and especially Alice in Wonderland).
When I finally started getting bored with those movies, I felt immensely guilty and upset over it, and I kept trying to convince myself that I still loved them as much as I always did. But deep down inside I knew it was over.
It took me what felt like a very long time, but eventually I managed to convince myself that it was OK that I'm not interested in them anymore. What happened was that I decided to go just one day without thinking about those movies and see how it made me feel. When I realized that, hey, nothing bad happened, it became a lot easier to emotionally detach myself.I know I have made progress because when I first began to lose interest in Tim Burton/Johnny Depp movies, anytime I heard them mentioned in conversation or online, I would inwardly flinch and feel a pang of heartache; but lately I haven't been been experiencing that. In fact, I feel almost neutral about it.
But now my biggest problem is finding a new special interest. Everyday is boring, and I feel so empty inside. I've spent weeks, maybe months searching for something - anything - to occupy my mind, but all efforts have been in vain. Every conversation I have with family members, and most of my more recent posts on WP, revolves around me complaining about my lack of special interests. I realize that I must be really annoying to listen to, but I usually talk a lot about my special interests, and since I don't have any, it feels like all I can talk about is my lack of one. Sometimes I feel like it's driving me so crazy that I want to go back to therapy for it, but I worry that it's not a big enough issue to warrant it; that my therapist will think I'm stupid for taking up their time over not having a hobby.
Wow I have found a mirror of me I tried to create a post here to get this kind of response and I got nothing helpful at all! Anyway this is how I feel at the moment I think since I've had the same interest for a few years I keep trying to go back to it and I honestly think it might be security since all this year I had weeks of time when I loved something else and then went back to twilight again. I am beginning to try and make myself not move on buy I also feel this guilt and fear and such when I wasn't as attatched to twilight as I was before. I've got a weird special interest in the character I played in a school play a week ago and yes it's not a full blown interest but its enough to keep me going at the moment. I just hope ill do what I usually do and tea or watch something, fall in love with one character and go back to full time interest!
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~Pixie~
05 Oct 2012, 9:48 am
