Cliche advice that sets us back

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"Listen to your heart/intuition/gut feeling/whatever you call it"

Worst advice ever for me...

"Just be yourself!" - Yeah right. Obviously you can't see that one hasn't been working out too well for me.

"Just go make new friends!" - How can I make new friends when I've never had any friends to begin with. I'm obiously doing something wrong.

You seem like a lost soul

You dont have assburgers!

Well seeing as everyone else has a problem with you, it must be you who is the problem

Its normal for siblings to bully each other (thanks mom!)

All that cannabis has made you crazy!

You probably need medication and counselling (thanks AutismNZ!!)

'You just need to put in more effort'
'You just need to be more sociable'
'You just need to be more tolerant'
'You just need to be less fussy'

- Yeah right.

I am still under the impression this one is true.. it's not? (I am being serious here)

I'm sure its normal... but if one child has an ASD you would think a parent would protect them from the other childrens abuse?

Would you let a 10yr old play rough with a 3 yr old? No

This one from my dad: "You need to get some gumption." (what would I do with it when I got it)
Another one from my dad: "The bigger they are the harder they fall." (about the bullies) (yes, but they are also wily and stronger)
Oh yes, yet another one from my dad: "I always thought you were the one who'd make something with your life." (as if that would make me go and do something amazing)

I hate to admit this but that actually worked with me. Nearly all through my teens I used to cry out for a boyfriend. Now I'm not so desperate any more (in fact I can't be bothered to have a boyfriend at the moment), I've actually got asked out by two different men twice in one month.

Some lovely parental advice, most of it sex related.

"Just ignore the bullies"
this one just made things worse

"You might like it (sex) if you did it more"
nope, how many times must one subject themselves to intense discomfort before they suddenly decide they like it?

"you just haven't found the right person, you will like it (sex again) when you do"
I'm pretty sure that who it is has no bearing on my discomfort and dislike of the physical sensation of penetration.
(also, I have found someone who is right for me, and we share the dislike :p )

"Sex is an important part of a relationship, just like friendship is"
Umm, no, it is not as important as friendship as surely friendship is the foundation on which any stable long-term relationship is based?
Also, it is not important at all if both people don't like it. A lack of sex does not equal a lack of love. Sex for the sake of proclaiming the relationship when both people do not enjoy it is certainly not love.

I've heard stuff like that too. I don't think so. I don't like penetration even if it's by myself so I don't think it will matter how many times I do it or who I do it with.

Also some people that say that are just saying that to get sex from you. They are implying that they are the right person or that doing it with them more will somehow make you like it. More likely it would make you build up resentment towards them and make you hate sex more.

The only advice I ever followed was - Keep enemies closer then friends...
All the rest are just words that to me are lies...

My mind is too busy figuring out life, the world and the universe to give thought simple words that are based on nothing.

That's my attitude nowadays too, wish I'd had that self-confidence earlier.

This seems like good advice to me.

I understand on a general note, but it's not good advice when given to a 30+ year old woman who is alone, without family or friends and wants to raise a family. And it's advice mostly given in THOSE cases. Totally pretending the biological clock doesn't tick.

Besides, the same people that dish this advice are the first to claim that most humans are not made to be alone, and that other humans, significant others, are not just "nice additions" but crucial to one's psychological wellbeing.

Plus, women of my generation and prior, are fulfilled more by relationships than a career and hobbies. So they would need a huge change in outlook, values and everything in their personality, which is rare to attain and takes ages, before they can benefit from such advice.

Disclaimer: Rant alert. Viewer discretion is advised.

''You do not have any problem, you are taking things too seriously''
Yes of course. Everyone can know about how I feel, but I can't.

''Everyone has something that would show up as an abnormality''
You don't say? I couldn't care less. I have my problems and I am not happy with them.

''You are obsessed with this syndrome, you are talking about it too much. Drop it.''
Yes I am obsessed with it, because most of the people with AS have obsessions. Now maybe you can understand why. Of course, you know absolutely nothing about symptoms of AS.

''You are old for video games, there is a life out there.''
You can't decide whether I am old for something or not. Besides, I can't see anything mature in moving body/body parts with a very loud music in a crowded place. This is the *life out there* as I know.

''Be a women-chaser, your problems will end.''
One word: Ridiculous.

Last edited by Somberlain on 28 Jul 2012, 11:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

That's what I always say, I don't have the need to shake my body in trendy ways to some music I hate in the company of a crowd of people I don't understand why they're doing it either.