Are people with Aspergers Selfish?

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Yes indeed. I don't know if you've read the recent thread here on Wrong Planet about lack of empathy (and also another one about the cinema shooting), and many people expressed that while they didn't fully grasp the concept of empathy, they did quite clearly experience feelings of sympathy. I am no different on this matter. Why do you ask?

They may be some people that are selfish and have AS, but are not that way necessarily because they have it. Although, in the past I've been called selfish just because I haven't met the demands or desires of another person for example, I"ve been called selfish by my peers because I didn't give them some of my lunch, just because they added "please" on the end of their question...I don't see that as being selfish; I'm just honest.

You're referring only to cognitive empathy while ignoring affective empathy.

I don't think that I'm consciously selfish. I usually put others before myself or at least I try to keep the balance, find some compromise. But sometimes I get too consumed by my own thoughts or feelings that I simply forget to think of others and their needs or feelings. I need to be told about it or I might be selfish without realizing it.

I have been called selfish even if I was thinking about other people and concerned about how it may effect them with something I am doing. I also think people will call you selfish just to insult you and make you feel bad because you are not meeting their standards. Like someone may say you are selfish for not letting your child having another ice cream bar. but to me they just look like someone who expects you to be a bad parent and wants you to spoil your kid rotten and let them have their way and eat lots of sugar. So in that scenario, I would take "selfish" as a compliment because it would mean I was doing my job. You can start telling them "thank you."


I don't think I am ever truly selfish when I am accused of it but I know I can be truly selfish at times because I am having a hard time being flexible and dealing with the change.

For me, I think a better word would be "oblivious"...I think I do come off as being selfish, maybe? I'm not even sure...hence the word oblivious lol.

I've never really thought of being called selfish as a compliment, before; I suppose it can be.

...it's quite understandable that you can be selfish at times of stress; it's like when my older sister asked me to return an unwanted item of clothing to a shopping centre store, and I said "No" because shopping stresses me out, and I'd planned to just walk in and walk out as quick as I could.

Completely Agree. I can get so sucked into something I am doing at the moment that the next thing I know I am being yelled at for forgetting something being selfish by not thinking about it prior.

You know, this does not happen as often as I usually feel it does and it is rather wounding to be treated like you are selfish, personally.

The name "autism" refers to being self oriented. Also, with lack of theory of mind, empathy issues and special interests, it's very easy to be selfish.

Personally, I'm selfish, but I'm not. I never think that I or my needs are superior to others. I also like helping people. In that way I'm definitely not selfish. But at the same time, I am selfish. I easily get absorbed in my personal interests, which can interfere with a happy family life. I'm a college student and only live with my family about 4 months out of the year. It's hard for me to switch to "family mode" when I'm used to focusing on my interests, which is encouraged in college. Unless asked, I have a hard time thinking about how I can help others. It just doesn't occur to me most of the time. Pair that with my difficulty in reading people and I definitely come off as selfish.

I feel like I'm selfish and regret it later when I hurt someone's feelings. But I only put those closest to me before me. Sometimes it depends if I like the person. But most of the times I care more about my interests and myself and just leave the others alone, but I've been told by friends that I have to care about others and stop being so into myself just because I don't like to socialize. NT's don't have my same interests.

Sometimes when people call you selfish, they are the ones who are being selfish, not you. They just have it backwards.

I'm was made selfish by social exclusion from NT's, to an extent.

But before that, I was an extremely giving person

I believe that aspies appear selfish but aint
and NT's dont appear selfish, but really are

Elements of psychopathy/or not, possibly apply to these apparent and real perceptions

With me, it is a situational issue. Sometimes I can get very caught up in my thoughts, emotions, & interests. And may unthinkingly step on somebodies toes. But there is no malice or intent.
Others in my close family, however, are the very definition of the Word! ( Not naming names!)
I can conversely, be esily moved by something or a friend in need. I also am moved by people wgho experience natural/Man-made disasters.

Sincerely,
Matthew

I think I'm quite selfish.

However,I don't think all people with ASD are.

Is there a difference between self-centeredness and selfishness?

Can one be both self-loathing and/or insecure and selfish?

Are selfishness and feelings of superiority one-and-the-same? Related?

Do others make you selfish, or is it a choice you make? Or something you are compelled to do? Or just the way you are?

Is selfishness in the eye of the beholder or in the intention of the doer?

Are truly selfish people the ones who are least likely to see themselves as selfish?

^^
I've found this to be true very often.

There have been a number of times when I had to take a stand with my family -- It isn't selfishness to refuse to be detrimentally pushed past one's limits.