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Dillogic
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04 Sep 2012, 8:14 am

Ganondox wrote:
Autistic people are know for picking up emotions without recognizing exactly what they are picking up.


They can do that too. Instead of feeling it, you're then confused due to not knowing what it is.

It's kinda hellish to get all of these inputs from others and your brain doesn't know what to do with them.



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04 Sep 2012, 5:50 pm

StuartN wrote:
InThisTogether wrote:
Here is something maybe someone can help me understand:

My kids seem to be affected by other people's emotional states. Like if there is tension, they can sense it. My son will actually have very strong emotional reactions to some emotional situations.

On the other hand, if I am mad, or sometimes even crying, they seem not to notice.

So it seems to me there are two different things going on?


I think the important factor is familiarity and identification. If your sons see a familiar behaviour and can identify it, and know what will follow, then it does not cause any fear or distress. Kids might even enjoy seeing a parent mad, because it can be familiar and comforting, it demonstrates a degree of control over the parent and the events that will follow are very predictable.

If your sons sense heightened emotions or tensions, but can not identify it, and do not know what it signifies, then they will react to it, perhaps by being upset. The reaction might be exactly the same if you took them for a surprise visit to their favourite restaurant as it would be if you were trying to tell them some terrible family event had happened.


I'm not sure if that's it, exactly. I am rarely visibly mad and I don't cry often, so it isn't like they are "familiar" with that from me.

BUT...they do know that when mommy is having a strong negative emotion, they are still safe. I am not a lash-out kind of person, and negative emotions tend to pass rather quickly. Perhaps with other people, they are less certain what to expect, so it causes them more distress?


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Last edited by InThisTogether on 04 Sep 2012, 6:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Logicalmom
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04 Sep 2012, 6:04 pm

I worked with people who had dementia for a while. I found I was able to make a real connection. I found I was able to ask someone who had lost her language abilities to follow me to receive care that usually bothered her. She was easily agitated, but we just seemed to be able to 'feel' each others' intentions and she was quite relaxed - not one word spoken. I wonder if this has something to do with it? For lack of a better word, this 'energy' that we can read ?

I find I am very sensitive to people and I can shut down just by a presence in the same room. I wonder if this is why I connect with animals so well, too? My youngest son and my brother are the same way - animals are drawn to them. I call my youngest: Dr. Doolittle.

Very interesting.



StuartN
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05 Sep 2012, 10:42 am

InThisTogether wrote:
BUT...they do know that when mommy is having a strong negative emotion, they are still safe. I am not a lash-out kind of person, and negative emotions tend to pass rather quickly. Perhaps with other people, they are less certain what to expect, so it causes them more distress?


I think predictability is really important. I am comfortable with some people who I know well, but extremely uncomfortable (to the point of physical illness) with people I either don't know or know but don't understand. There are people I know who have always been positive, who everyone else tells me are positive, but I am still uneasy because they are not predictable.

In my own case, I pick up on the slightest cue for emotional tension, but I am very bad at recognizing the emotions. People who get excited at a sports event, for instance, are very frightening. I live in a country where sports-related violence is very rare, but groups of sports fans terrify me.