Picking up the phone can paralize me with fear

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I really don't like the phone.

I avoid it as much as I can. I have trouble with business calls and queries. I will not answer if I do not recognize the number. Even if I recognize the number, I will usually let the phone go to message to see what that person wants first. I am nervous checking the message because I don't know what will be expected of me - to reply, a social invite, what have you. I often have to wait until I am ready to return a call. I work up to it. I used to hate long distance calls 'back in the day' - you had to talk to an operator. It just put me in knots.

It's funny - just before I saw this post, I was having this conversation with my nephew who has the same trouble.

I don't mind phoning friends, though. I love it when it's night time and I get into bed with the phone and snuggle down and talk about anything and everything to my heart's content. Well, I'd get nervous phoning up a friend I haven't seen or spoken to for ages and ages, but that's quite normal, I know NTs who have had nerves over that.

I hate phones as well. One of my issues is that I'll have no idea what to say or how to help the person on the other end of the line, but another issue is that I'm just not big on socializing, because I suck at it. Whoever said they wish they could handle more things via email, I definitely agree.

You're committing the mistake of overthinking a problem that has yet to materialize. lol

Take it from an old lady: We all do it. At least those of us who tend to be more on the neurotic side of life.

Instead of worrying about making a mistake, why not listen to the question and come up with a genuine response? If you end up stammering, or saying, "Uh, let me think" or "I really don't know," well, any of those are honest answers and none to be ashamed of.

Honestly in my nearly 60 years I have come to believe that anticipating disaster is like being Chicken Little every day. Talk about wasting precious time and brain cells over nothing.

I used to have phone phobia, but I worked with an occupational therapist on it and managed to get over it. Now, I have no fear of the phone.

So do I!

A few years ago, I was going to pick up the phone to call someone I didn't want to call, and I just couldn't do it....I had a anxiety attack/meltdown and just collapsed into an armchair and started crying. It's worth mentioning that I have a phobia of talking on phones to begin with. Why are we put thru this??

I'm afraid of the phone, too. I like it when my caller ID shows that it is someone I am comfortable speaking with, but when it is a number that is not in my caller ID, you would think the phone had crocodile teeth or something.

I also have anxiety about checking my voicemail, I dread it, I always think it is going to be something bad.

I have answered the phone unexpectedly when it was my Voc Rehab case worker calling from a strange number and she truly acted like I was severely disabled because of my slowness and confusion answering her simple greeting. I was just unprepared. Or I speak too quietly and they think I'm unresponsive.

Today I made a dreaded call for something as simple as a haircut appointment. I said, "Um, I'm calling to make an appointment for a haircut" which must have sounded hilarious to the lady answering because... it is a salon, duh, of course that is what is happening. She was very nice about it, at least. I am one to enthusiastically state the obvious in any given situation.

I only feel ok talking on the phone to my dad, my two friends, the carers and my Occupational Therapist. Everyone else on the phone, ESPECIALLY strangers, I freak out at the thought of talking to them on the phone.

Once I had to report a crime online (long story), so I filled in the online Metropolitan Police crime reporting form, and it said "phone number: " I got scared of the concept of a random police officer calling me, so I left it blank and put a note in the box at the bottom saying "I am autistic and I cannot handle phone calls." I pressed Submit and an error came up saying "you must put a phone number down"! So I put my best friend's phone number down, with his permission. The crime I reported was never filed. Nobody ever called. Nothing was ever done.

Another time I had to get my psychiatrist to personally contact the laboratory that handled my blood tests for the full printed report of my results, because my GP refused to email or send a letter with the results, and would only accept a phone call. I could not do the phone call and my GP thought I was being "silly".

I dislike the phone and often will not answer it. I also hate calling and getting an answer machine because it throws me off and I never know what to say for a message. People who know me, know that they should send a text or e-mail if they want to get a hold of me.

I like the way you put it. That's exactly how it is for me too. My heart starts beating very fast and my fingers get clammy when I have to answer the phone. I never knew why until now! (After knowing about ASD and all that.)


I can't ever leave messages too. I tried it once and it was disastrous. My voice went all high pitched and I started babbling nonsense. And I just wanted to take it all back but of course you can't.

Thanks for this thread, OP. I've always thought I was alone in my fear and distaste of picking up the phone and calling a person. I've tried to analyse it all my life and I could never see a logical reason for my fear, especially if I'm calling for something inane like to make an appointment to see my GP, but there's that fear every single time.

It bugs me to death. I always have to rehearse what I'm going to say before picking up the phone and anticipate how the conversation is going to go so I can cover most responses. I tried writing it all down once so I could like read off the script, but then I ended up sounded fake and forced, so I had to memorise the "script" instead to make it more natural.

This is exactly me.