I have trouble doing fun things...

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I think that this might be a factor. I can think of periods in my life where I had this problem, and periods where I did not...come to think of it though, maybe I was just depressed during those times. I'll try to start getting some exercise, even though it sounds like the last thing on earth I feel like doing. Thanks...

I think anxiety can be a big factor too. Like I can't enjoy doing to a shopping centre because crowds make me anxious, and everywhere I stand in a shop there's always somebody creeping up from behind me, always wanting to get to where I'm standing because they're awkward or gotten themselves too absorbed in shopping to care what others are doing, and then I end up being pushed out of the way, so I can't focus properly on observing items in a shop, and I find I become too anxious of other people looking at me or getting in my way, which keeps me from paying attention to what I've come here to do, also I can't stand strangers invading my personal space, I really get agitated and I walk away.

I don't really enjoy doing things that other people seem to consider "fun" either - like wild parties with alcohol, doing drugs, shopping for clothes, getting makeovers, or staying in close proximity with people you barely know from Adam or Eve for extended lengths of time.

Its 8am saturday morning.

I'm now off down the duck pond to walk 5km, see my new walky friends down there.....and ward off the autistic goose as it tries to hump me...

My legs are building muscle and are looking sexy[at least goose is turned on, eh?]

I think that you're right, I do get pretty anxious around other people, or enclosed spaces that have people in them. It's kind of hard to feel like I'm having "fun" when the only thing on my mind is the closest exit!

Yeah, maybe I just need to try to explore some new "out of the box" types of fun. I feel like such a lame-o lol.

Haha, the autistic goose, eh?

I really wish I didn't have AS or anxiety issues, so that I can enjoy myself more. Today there's a temporary funfair in our town, and everybody but me is going there. Part of me wants to go, but then my anxiety and social awkwardness holds me back. Plus I don't feel in the best of moods today (overactive hormones, I reckon). Life used to be great going to the funfair when I was a child, because I didn't get so anxious then in social events, but now that I do it's difficult to turn back.

For a start worrying about everyone looking at me is a huge factor aswell, in other words, too much self-conscious feelings. I am getting my hair done in a couple of weeks, one what actually suits me and might make me feel more confident. But knowing that I'm the type to be noticed and get looked at and give off this negative vibe in whatever I do is really damaging my self-esteem and there's nothing I can do about it. I don't know how to get rid of these vibes I keep giving off. I have read some self-improvement books and websites, and all it says is wear clothes that make you blend in (which I do) and don't wear clothes that are too ''obnoxious'' (which I don't), I just wear stylish jeans and a nice jumper or a long-ish T-shirt what is currently in fashion at the moment, so I don't overdo it but I don't look different either. Also it says about posture, well I do stand up straight and I look in the mirror a lot at home and I look perfectly fine in the way I stand and walk. I thought all this would help, but it still doesn't, I still can't get rid of the horrible vibes that I give off.

If this goes on any longer, I'm going to have to commit suicide. Then these nasty critical people can find somebody else to criticise, if one does exist. Right now I think I look the most weirdest person in the world, or so it seems.

*hugs* I hear you, I really do. I Feel terribly self conscious about the way that I look too. At one point in high school, I had managed to stop giving off these 'vibes' that your mentioning though...and I'm no expert or anything, but all I really did was pretend to be happy, bubbly and confident in myself. That seems to be what people are generally attracted to, at least in my experience. I had no sense of fashion back then, so I couldn't have been doing anything right in that department! Even as I type this though, I feel like I should be taking my own advice (maybe I will!)...but I'll tell you, even though I was faking it at first, eventually, after I noticed that people were responding to me in a positive way, I did start to genuinely feel more happy and confident. I really hate the expression "fake it until you make it" but it really did help me back then.

I think that there is hope for you and your situation. You sound like a very nice person, and you did help me, which goes to show you that you could probably help others just as easily, if that's the kind of thing that brings you some joy. I just hope that you don't give up, because I'm sure that once you find a way to feel just a little bit better, it'll be all up hill from there (again, I really need to take my own advice!).

Well I do go around looking a bit nervous. I don't do anything to actually stand out, but I have an unconfident expression on my face, like I want to shy away from all the crowds. I also look all confused and dizzy at all the people milling* about, and suddenly wonder if I am dreaming this or if I'm really here. The noise doesn't worry me, just the hussle and bussle of people do. If nobody looked at me or judged me, I think I will be OK. I also go around avoiding eye contact with people. If somebody is coming towards me, as soon as my eyes almost meet their's, I quickly turn away. It's turning into a constant battle, and I don't think it's doing me any good. Again, it's nothing to really notice because they might just think I'm looking around and at different things (since I'm talking about being at those sorts of places where there's so much going on like at temporary funfairs what I'm missing out on today). But I still don't like doing this myself because it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Maybe I've just got to look up and not worry if I'm meeting people's eyes or not, whether I catch someone staring or not. I'm a bit like you, I offer great advice to other people about this sort of thing but I don't take my own advice. Like I often say to people on here ''people aren't looking at you to judge you, they just catch your eye'', or, ''eyes are like magnets with NTs, it's just natural to look'', or, ''NTs aren't that shallow as you think they might be, not everybody recognises every little detail of somebody's body language, especially if you're at a type of place where everybody's there to have fun, like a theme park or even busy shopping centres.'' But I never take my own advice. All my thoughts and anxieties are irrational, so I know the truth behind the irrational thoughts, but each time I try to believe the right thoughts, the bad thoughts still come creeping into my mind.

* ''Milling about'' doesn't mean ''making milk or grinding flour in a milk factory'', it's also another word for ''people walking up and down, dawdling, going in all different directions, et cetera''.

I've literally only leave my house once every month, and that's only because I have to in order to pay bills and such. Other than that I primarily just stay home as most of my comforts, and dealings, happen here. I have plenty of fun here at home with my movies and games to entertain me. Although I do sometimes wish there were places like to go for fun as well. I'm just not much of a sociable person.