Do you feel completely useless?

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My question is, if we have a legitimate disability, albeit one which is completely invisible, and we feel worthless because we cannot perform to the same level as the NT's we encounter are able to, then why do we beat ourselves up over this fact? I just discovered that I have AS and the only reason I discovered it is because a horrible NT person used me for her own gain and when she was done with me she threw me away and when I tried to find out why she used her position of power as a professor and a female to have me punished. So yes I feel pretty dang worthless and hapless right now and it sucks, my plan was to hang out in school for as long as my GI bill held out but now my desire to go to school has been crushed. There is no job I want to do or can do even though I have 20 years of military experience and I am a straight A student, and that my friends is pretty f****d up.

I would like to suggest that we are not useless or worthless, we are just misunderstood and unappreciated, I am so glad that I know that I cannot help who I am, I do not choose to be this way, it is simply the way I am. I don't know how to resolve your problems any more than I can resolve my own but I can say that I am a far better person then most NT's, in fact I kind of pity them. This person was willing to destroy me to further her career and I know for a fact that I could never ever do something like that to another person, and that fact is genuinely satisfying to me.

Heck yes, I feel completely useless. I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm 20 years old and don't drive, I failed college algebra twice, I don't stand up for myself and allow people to walk all over and abuse/use me, I have a stammer that becomes apparent when I'm anxious, and I have no real - life friends.

Sometimes I wish that my parents had just abandoned me on a cliff somewhere for the pterodactyls to fly off with and feed to their young or something. I know that all the pterodactyls in this part of the world were all extinct by the early 1990s, but still.

I find it depressing how people partly judge their sense of worth based on their physical appearance.

I would certainly prefer him to Mit Romney. Also I wouldn't really expect more than $600 a month if I got approved.

I don't even know how people live on that. Where I live now my rent is almost $700. Even if I found a smaller and cheaper place my rent and utilities would probably use all that up and leave nothing left for food.

I just got Medicaid and without it I don't know what I would have done. I'm going to have lots of medical bills soon. I don't even have enough cash to take a cab to the hospital and back, never mind paying the bill.

Well most other people seem to base my worth on my appearance unfortunately-happens and has happened to me before.

You can't live off of it. I have no choice though. That's why I live with my grandfather. I'm scared of what's going to happen when he's not around anymore. I have no one else. I wish they had better programs and help for people with disabilities in NJ!

This is a very sad thread. Haven't any of you ever gotten a complement that you've touched someone's life?

I do feel useless sometimes, but not all the time.

If I have, it was probably in a negative way.

I do feel useless. Yes.

I guess it depends on where you live. $700 is the Max in Jersey from what they've told me. It was east for me to get approved since I have a history's from when I was 7 years old. I started going to hospitals at age 7 for jumping into traffic and stabbing my baby sitter. I had/have a dope addicted mother with no father. So, the history helped on top of my diagnosis. I didn't have to wait and was approved the first time around. It was almost immediately!

But I agree with what the person above me said. You shouldn't judge your self worth on your looks.

Sometimes I feel this way, but then I think that if I get so dark-minded I really won't do anything in my life, and the best I can do to send away these negative thoughts is doing the best I can in everything I do.

I used to feel quite useless.

Then I picked up some tools.

Well, yes...once someone in my graduating high school class told me, "You know, when I first met you when we were freshman, I thought you were a little bit weird....but when I got to know you better, I started to think that maybe you were God's way of telling us that it's okay to be different."

...But you know, when all the negative feedback, verbal abuse, putdowns and criticism starts to outweigh the good stuff like that, it makes it difficult to even register/believe such compliments anymore.

Stick with what that person told you. I've had a lot of people tell me I'm memorable due to my eccentricities. They don't always like me, but they do find me amusing.