Question about stimming in HFA/Aspergers

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I stim often although 90% of the time when im listening to music. For example i will sit on the floor rocking forwards and backwards rythmically to music for hours and not get bored. I find it really relaxing and find i can calm myself down very quickly. I frequently wave my hand up and down while im walking down the street, without really realising for at least a couple of minutes. I'm quite fortunate to have an incredibly sympathetic mother who taught me to be proud of who i am regardless. Ive been looked at down the street for openly nodding my head and rocking side to side while listening to my music. I really don't care what people think and im glad i have aspergers in that sense because i feel alot of my NT friends feel "held back" because they are so worried about what people think.


Sorry, i know this was slightly off topic but im just happy to share my story with other likeminded people

Alex

I am a 50 year old adult with (probable)HFA & I have stimmed as far back as I can remember. Much to my parent's horror..
As for frequency, it goes up & down over time. If I am stressed, confused, or anxious I may start doing it constantly. I have learned to hide this, however. Where I used to manipulate a sock, string, or stick, I now use rubberbands. Easier to hide & everyone just assumes I am a little OCD with this, something that generates some sympathy unlike autism.
As for the reasons why? I am not entirely sure. I do find it comforting & it can keep me from getting too unfocused or confused by sensory stimuli..

Sincerely,
Matthew

Matt your post reminded me of some of my very favorite stim toys when I was a kid. I had forgotten all about them! Two of them were mennonite-made toys (like amish). One was called a Jacob's Ladder (blocks of wood suspended by ribbons...loved the rhythmic click), and another was an old fashioned perfectly balanced wooden yoyo that had a better spin than the plastic ones when used right. Those are long gone I think. My sister still has a wooden 3D puzzle that a neighbor made for us that we both loved to work to relax. It clicked too.
I've been thinking about the stimming thing for awhile since it gets discussed on the boards, and it's nice that we can talk about it here. I have been a little confused about myself on the subject of stimming because I had some stims as a kid and have some as an adult, but they come and go. I think with me, most obvious typical stims have not been obsessive in nature, so if I saw they were making people uncomfortable I would exchange them for some other activity, or just stop. However, I do seem to always have to have something in my hands or I will run my fingernails across everything...but mostly my own fingers continually if I'm really anxious. Or I will rub my fingers together, and that is definitely something I've done since I was a very small child and have kept into adulthood (now 40), but most people miss it. I prefer to rub a particular type of fabric and should probably by more clothes made of it, and that would help calm my anxiety and be easier on my hands too. I'm not sure I could stop scratching/rubbing my fingers if I tried, and I'm a little surprised I have fingerprints left on my thumbs after these past 2 months.

Aspergers female, recently self diagnosed at 36. Married and working full time as a software architect, travelling a few times a year with work. Learned how to 'hide' my differences (for the most part) by mimicking others or being explicitly taught social skills by kind people at around age 16-18. It has negatively affected my relationships and jobs, esp when in meltdown. Had no idea what it was until a couple weeks ago. First post.

for me, i had heard of Aspergers/Autism and i knew people with it made 'odd repetitive movements' but when you google or look at videos on you tube, its the arm flapping or major strange movements in children or severely disabled adults, and I certainly don't do that.

Even after i watched videos of Aspergers adults talking about it, I was still thinking, 'I don't really do that'.

Here is the video that really opened my eyes, at about the 1:20 time stamp www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=_T9nQPCmxmk . This is a high functioning Aspergers woman actually demonstrating her stim instead of talking about it. As soon as I saw this, i realized that i never notice it (in myself or others). It just doesn't seem odd or weird to me. It seems completely normal.

Once I had this revelation, I realized I actually do it all the freaking time!
- When i'm about to go somewhere/ get up and go, I do a 1-and-2-and-3-4 sort of gallop slap with both hands on my leg almost exactly as the video shows. it is always the same sequence and pauses.
- When i'm excited and happy (like when I get a package in the mail), I jump up and down, clap my hands 3 times, then rub them together one-and-two-and-three, and make a 'happy noise' like 'EEEEEE!'. My face is also super happy (childlike glee). Lucky me, my husband also thinks this is endearing
- When I'm working and I have to deal with a social situation (phone call, meeting, etc), my knee bounces up and down (my family called it 'the jimmy leg'). I can restrain it but it comes out in other ways. Toe/foot tapping, pen cap chewing, teeth gentle biting (left-right-left-right or front-back-front-back).
- When i want to turn on my music loud and dance (relaxing), 'dance' to me is jumping up and down in one place or turning in circles with my head sort of down and to the side, while sort of windmilling my arms (one up, one down). Although these might look like real dances of sort (mosh pit and 'hippy dance'), I don't think that is why i enjoy them.
- when I want to relax i watch TV sitting where i can watch the TV with my face not turned directly at it and watching out of the corner of my eye
- when i am interacting with objects (like something that opens and closes, or turns, especially with a hinge or gear), i am interested in watching it open/close and might space out a bit while i check it out.
- I will decide i like a book or movie and watch it over and over and over to help me relax before bed or when i have to travel. Fantasy/Chidren's. examples: Alice in Wonderland, Harry Potter audio books. By over and over, i mean on a daily basis for a period of months or years.
- Constant throat clearing and sniffing
- rubbing or tapping keys on the keyboard when i'm not actively typing
- looking up and nodding (very slightly) up and down (when in my 'thinking' mode).
- folding and unfolding paper
- rubbing my chin/nose/face with hand while idle at work (waiting for the compiler, etc)
- tuneless (almost silent) humming to self - repetitive, 2 or 3 notes
- chewing my nails, lips, picking at my toe nails, acne
- running my hand along a wall if i'm walking down the hall, or lightly over a rail if i'm walking by it (not to use it, just to touch it)
- i recently put lines of tiny round, puffy shiny stickers on my computer monitor like a mosaic, that I like to look at (up and down) and also to touch and rub my finger or thumb over them while I sit waiting. this makes me feel .. happy? patient? I was trying to figure out why i like my new stickers so much..
- doodling down on paper the same thing I'm saying on the phone. They ask my phone number, I give it to them verbally but also write it down. I wonder if i write it or say it first?

Compared to neuro typicals, I really like to 'feel' my environment. I can sort of act like someone who is tripping (acid/mushrooms/e) when I'm actually not. I just want to feel what things feel like and if something is interesting, I want to keep checking it out (turning it, touching it, smelling it, looking at it). Sorta spacey while I'm doing it.

Oh, and when i think about my childhood / school years, my favorite toys involved bouncing or swinging and the only sports I liked involved repetitive motion (like swimming, riding, mogul skiing).

This is a short list of what I thought of in a few minutes. Now that I am aware of what they actually are (repetitive things Apergers people do without even noticing it), I notice new ones in myself all the time. Some are cute, some are pretty annoying to others. My sweet husband says he notices I do many of them when I am 'agitated'. Hope its helpful.

PS: i have no intention of stopping or restricting these stims. They help me! I don't mind being quirky. Here's a link about that: musingsofanaspie (dot) com/2013/01/03/the-high-cost-of-self-censoring-or-why-stimming-is-a-good-thing/

If you still don't notice these type of behavior in yourself, you might risk asking someone who loves you (and will be kind) and who is definitely not Aspergers if they have noticed similar repetitive unconscious behaviors in you.. you know, that person or family member whose feelings you frequently hurt by being too blunt and who wants to go to party after party after party? If you are Aspergers they probably notice (and are even annoyed by) many of them but have decided to love you as you are and not say anything about it.

I was thinking about making a video of some of my stimms to help other people with this question (not showing my face?) But then again I don't want to.

Would any of you folks in this thread ever be willing to do something like that?

On the one hand the video this other woman posted was really helpful to me. But on the other hand it feels like exposing myself or over sharing. Something i've spent a lot of time trying to hide, I guess.

thoughts?

I used to stim quite a lot as a child. Typical AS really ,hand flapping, rocking. I still rock as an adult about to turn 35.l rock while listening to music, I rock myself to sleep each night.

I only occasionally flap my hands now, but a relatively new stim is to chew my own tounge. Does anyone else do this?

I used to sim alot when I was in room along when I lived with my parents but I quit doing that after I moved in with my girlfriend & don't do it even when she's not home.

I used to pace back and forth while waving my fingers in front of my face. I would be thinking about the process of doing something as I remember. After I got to be a teenager, I would go into my parent's room (because it was empty) shut the door and do it so no one could see me. Now mostly I will drum my hands while listening to music (I think this looks normal enough). I also do bite my nails and cuticles and pick my face pretty badly. I tried cutting and burning but it scared badly, so I don't anymore even though I liked it. Also, I play violin and do Irish dance which both give me the same feeling as stimming. With the violin there are the finger movements, combined with the sound. In Irish dance there are repetitive foot movements also with a sound, and it is very satisfying I still get the urge to flap, but often after closing the blinds and locking the door I don't actually do it.

I do socially acceptable stimming, but not repetitively. So basically if you look at it from an Aspie point of view, I don't stim.