Are we always wrong, then?

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Moondust, I think I understand what you're getting at and it troubles me that I think you're right (this is in my mind an awful lot).

I watch my daughter's interactions with her classmates and think that their social skills are much worse than hers. However, they are apparently 'normal' so acceptable. For example, a few days ago, I heard my daughter tell a boy something. I can't remember what she said, but it wasn't anything bad or mean, just a fact she found interesting. He turned round and said, 'So what?' and walked away. Now, maybe what she said wasn't interesting to him, but there was absolutely no need to be rude to her, so long as she wasn't saying something offensive or nasty. If I told one of the senior staff in school about this, they would no doubt tell me that it was because of the subject matter and the boy wasn't interested, i.e. it was her fault. They had only started to speak to one another, so how would she know that he wasn't interested? I doubt any child would be reprimanded for speaking like that to her, but she'll be getting the social stories to help her.

This isn't a big deal, compared to some interactions, but just an example of what a kid with Aspergers has to deal with, day in day out.

Sidmor, you did explain yourself very well, and I'm buying your outlook on this.

analyser, thank you. Due to a lifetime of being misunderstood, I've developed over-compensation, i.e. I explain things so clearly that when I resigned as a teacher the principal almost cried. This skill is (thank God) one that keeps me from being fired (for some time, at least). A customer is happiest when he feels that he's being heard and that his questions are being answered, and when you explain in a way he can understand, he feels those two things, so I get the best customer feedback.

Mommy, I understand perfectly well what you relate. It's a dilemma - do you raise your child to know she's different, or to know she's disordered? There's valid evidence for either approach. Personally, if I had a daughter, I'd raise her to know that she's different and not disordered, but that it'll take society at least a couple decades more to understand this, so to expect people to react like she's the one in the wrong many times in an interaction, and to know in her heart that she's perfectly fine. Ultimately, it's self-esteem that makes a difference in the quality of one's life, not the esteem of others.

I do find it disturbing that on TV these days they use Aspergers as an excuse to not explain a facial expression or comment that is perceived wrong. Are they making fun of people with Aspergers or do they intend on making the audience aware of Aspergers in a subtle way? Is this the way they wish present Aspergers as the people that is always "wrong".

Stalk, can you give an example or explain more in detail? I'm not sure I understand...

I watched the movie called Bachelorette. There were 3 people, one trying on an outfit, the male assistant and the female assistant. The woman trying on the outfit stepped out and asked their opinion, when the male assistant commented positive while the female assistant responded verbally positive but made a frowned face. The woman that tried on the output catches her making the face and asked her about it. The male assistant rescues her by excusing her when he mentions that she is ret*d and then changes it to she has Aspergers to excuse her actions.

It appears that they label us as people that is always wrong socially.

I seem to find it a lot of online content where a female writer would explain people as creepy/Aspergers e.g. which translates for me to "wrong" or Faulty.

OOh, now I get what you're saying, guys!

But tchek, suppose neither boy is diagnosed with AS, then what?

Probably a fight?

Here is an analogy of what the case always is for me:-

I am reading a book, and somebody stands about nearby then comes up and takes it without verbally asking me. I was in the wrong because I was hogging the book when somebody else needed it.
A person is reading a book. I really need it and don't have much time so I patiently wait. Then I come and take it out of their hands without verbally asking them. I was still in the wrong because that person was using the book and I should have came up and asked, whether they were taking a long time with it or not.

This is another reason why having AS makes me feel so depressed. It's like I have no rights or dignity. If somebody randomly punched me in the face while I was innocently walking along in the street, the answer from someone would be, ''ohh, maybe they were feeling sad or having a bad day....'' Puh! f**k how they were feeling, punching someone in the face who was just minding her own business is not the thing to do. I feel angry every day, I feel angry and sad that I'm surrounded by normal people, and I feel I could punch people for it, but I don't do it because I know it's wrong and is not their fault I'm feeling this way.

It's like Aspies are expected to consider other people's feelings, but it's OK if Aspies don't get sympathy or empathy from other people, even if an Aspie's emotions are reasonable. Do people with other conditions get this, other than people with ASDs? Do people with Fragile-X get this?

I have an elderly relative with Alzheimer's, and I've learnt that Alzheimer's is even more misunderstood than AS, although it may not look like it. They won't put her in a home yet, and she does have carers who come round. But when her doctor rings her up about something to do with her physical health conditions, he talks to her about it (even know he is aware that she has got diagnosed Alzheimer's) and seems to think that just because she can talk on the phone she can also remember things just like any normal person, but she can't, the information will go out of her head the minute she puts the phone down. And she can't write it down either because a simple task is too difficult for her, because the Alzheimer's is very complex, just like AS.

I remember when I was in high school, it felt like I was always wrong and always my fault how I was being treated. My shrink always assumed it was my poor social skills and me not picking up on cues. Kids tell me to be quiet, mind my own business, get mad at me for no reason and I tell him about it and he basically tell me I was doing the whole social thing wrong. I just saw no wonder why aspies have poor social skills and don't socialize well, people won't let them do it and he said it was because we don't do it right so people get mad about and treat us that way.

It may also be assumptions people make, if they know we have AS, they automatically assume we did something wrong. But what if they didn't know we have AS, would their response be any different? Would my shrink's been any different?

I have also noticed that every time we misunderstand something or take something literal, prefer to be by ourselves, not like something new in our environment and change, no eye contact, lack of TOM, people assume it's our AS but if a NT did any of this stuff, nope no blame, instead they find another reason but if we do it, they automatically blame it on the AS and forget about the NTs doing it too in that situation.