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How can I get more self-confident?

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Surfman
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14 Oct 2012, 7:48 am

Confidence lies in the solar plexus.
Its complicated
being gutless and meek
Like a mouse
Squeak squeak

Grow a pair
If you dare
And if your feeling sick
You can lay in bed
With you hand
On your dick

Hormone replacement therapy for confidence,
ask your doctor if HRT is right for you

Life is beginning to repeatedly look like one big hormone to me....



PixieXW
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14 Oct 2012, 8:50 am

Palakol wrote:
jonny23 wrote:
I gained my confidence from figuring out what I was good at and practicing until I was really really good. Confidence for me anyway, is one of those things that's hard to get started on but once you find it in one place it starts growing to others. I did poorly in school both academically and socially so it wasn't until I got out and found my own path that things really started to change for me.


Yeah, this. Most AS people have so-called "special interests". Use that. Be really really good at something. When people find out of your proficiency in it they will start looking-up to you and usually asking for help when it concerns that subject. It won't really affect your general self-confidence but at least at that area it will, and that is a good start. Then you realize nobody can be good at everything.

Also realize that those "headstrong, confident people who don't give a sh*t about what others think of them" only seem like so. A lot of people fake it. I know I do. I have unreasonably low self-esteem, but I am able to fake it when I am around society so they don't feel sorry for me or send me to the mental health specialist or something. And "not giving a sh*t what other people think" is confident behavior, but there is such a thing as "too confident" (i.e. "douchebag"). I mean you probably do not admire nor want to be anything close to what those choads in that "Jersey Shore" show are.


You say that our special interests are a way to be confident well mine IS the reason I'm not confident. Most people also have ones that change a lot there is no point talking about something and showing people something you are good at when its just going to come back to bite you again. You'll lose interest and talk about something else and them the people you want to prove your confidence to just give you looks or they don't but you know they are thinking it instead. I hate having a special interest and I hate not having one- there is not way in or out of it but I struggle to see how it could help!


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jonny23
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14 Oct 2012, 9:14 am

PixieXW wrote:

You say that our special interests are a way to be confident well mine IS the reason I'm not confident. Most people also have ones that change a lot there is no point talking about something and showing people something you are good at when its just going to come back to bite you again. You'll lose interest and talk about something else and them the people you want to prove your confidence to just give you looks or they don't but you know they are thinking it instead. I hate having a special interest and I hate not having one- there is not way in or out of it but I struggle to see how it could help!


That's just what worked for me. There are many ways to gain confidence. I think the thing is if you're trying to impress people you'll probably be reaching and will probably fail. You will gain more confidence by getting someones respect then by impressing them with parlor tricks. You can rattle off some little known facts and that might impress someone but be a reserved, kind, helpful and responsible person and people will respect you. You don't have to be the smartest or strongest for that.



jonny23
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14 Oct 2012, 9:18 am

PixieXW wrote:
people you want to prove your confidence to


Confidence isn't something you prove to other people. It's how you feel about yourself. People that are trying to prove something don't have confidence. Stop worrying about proving yourself and be the best person you can be, then with time the rest will come.



Sweetleaf
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14 Oct 2012, 11:45 am

Not really sure, seems like any time I build up my confidence even a little there is always something to bring it down and destroy the foundation for it again.


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loner1984
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14 Oct 2012, 10:32 pm

Its pretty much something you will learn.

Atleast i did, i dont care what other people think about me, what i wear, how i live, what i eat or anything. they can say what they want, it wont effect my mind in the slighest. Is that cool or awesome? i doubt it.

But it works. My brain gets messed up and tired fast enough already with all the input of the world, i dont have energy to spend on pointless stuff, what people think about me and stuff like that when we were a kid to impress the girls or whatever.



1000Knives
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15 Oct 2012, 12:04 am

Higher testosterone levels. Fairly simple. Take herbs/supplements/foods to boost T levels, get plenty of sleep, etc. Or the easiest solution is find a doctor who'll give you testosterone to inject. Boom, instant confidence.

Note you can still be confident and a huge social idiot, in fact your confidence will just make you an idiot instead of being "shy" or "quiet." This is my problem, naturally very outgoing, however, can't read body language or interpret social cues well at all, then I confidently will give someone a monologue about like double edge safety razors and look like a huge idiot and then find out how much of an idiot I looked like, have cycles of no confidence due to that, then repeat it over again.



Sanctus
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15 Oct 2012, 3:33 am

1000Knives wrote:
Higher testosterone levels. Fairly simple. Take herbs/supplements/foods to boost T levels, get plenty of sleep, etc. Or the easiest solution is find a doctor who'll give you testosterone to inject. Boom, instant confidence.


Probably not such a good idea since I'm a woman. :wink:



Surfman
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15 Oct 2012, 4:19 am

Exercise, clean living, avoiding plastic containers, avoiding medications AND drugs and alcohol..... etc etc

improve hormonal function, as does the power of positive thoughts and environments

then add female herbal supplements.... but dont forget to omit the harmful culprits as well

taking something new from a shop is so much easier than stopping harmful old habits.... hic Image



GiantHockeyFan
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15 Oct 2012, 7:17 am

1000Knives wrote:
Higher testosterone levels. Fairly simple. Take herbs/supplements/foods to boost T levels, get plenty of sleep, etc. Or the easiest solution is find a doctor who'll give you testosterone to inject. Boom, instant confidence.


When I lost a large amount of weight my testosterone and confidence shot through the roof so I would totally agree. I feel much better physically and mentally and I feel much more masculine to boot!