Are you threadening me?

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Yeah, same here, this:

http://www.veoh.com/watch/v18835825pfABezaD?h1=Buttniks

Oppositional defiant disorder
comes in many guises
Many different weights
And sizes

Last edited by Surfman on 25 Oct 2012, 5:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

Here's the thing, Brock. He doesn't hate that my son has NVLD and ADHD (not ASD, technically), he hates the thought of other people knowing it. And his fear is that other people will use the information to hurt him, which I totally understand. The problem is that whether or not I understand his point does not change the fact that the kid needs help.

The way that I see it is this: If people know of his diagnosis, it may or may not negatively impact his future. But if we don't do anything to help him to avoid people knowing of his diagnosis, I think it will most definitely negatively impact his future. So if I play the odds, I'm going to tell people to get him help. On top of that, people notice his issues, whether or not we directly address them. While some people respond to my daughter's diagnosis as "wow! I would have never guessed" I have never gotten that response with my son. People may not see him as disabled, exactly, but people pretty readily notice that he isn't like most boys his age. In school his executive dysfunction is blazingly apparent to his teachers. So much so that even without an IEP, they have implemented a formal strategy.

Plus, I will never forget what his kindergarten teacher said "What you have to remember is that he will get a label, regardless of what you do. But getting him assessed will ensure he gets the right label." (IOW, "a kid with a disability" instead of "troublemaker"). I realize that having a diagnosis does not completely remove the possibilities of other labels, but I have found that most people have been very receptive, helpful, and accommodating once I explain why he does the things he does. Especially since it only takes a rudimentary understanding of executive dysfunction and sensory integration dysfunction to clearly see where his issues stem from. As a number of people have said "He is a poster child."

Your analysis will hold in many cases, however. I, too, study humans. And your analysis would be insightful frequently.

Yes, that explains a lot. I've come to suspect something along those lines over time, but it's good to hear someone else say it so clearly.

Since, for me, the outcome of the argument is the reason for it, I think this validates my personal policy of not getting involved in an argument unless there is a specific benefit (to me) of doing so. Even then, I weight the benefit and chance of success again the cost - and the chance of success is usually pretty low. It's rarely worth it. I don't even want to be good at this "emotional dominance" game, even if I could be. Anyone who wants to play it is not worth beating, in my opinion.

Anyway, when I do get involved in an argument, I find that the challenge is usually not to refute the other person's position, but to pin them down on what it is, that is, to define it precisely enough to be capable of being refuted. Often people will keep changing their position (without admitting to it), so that I can never be sure what exactly is being argued.